Sunday 29 January 2017

Exclusive: Payet Spotted in America

As news is filtering in that want-away bad boy Dimi Payet has jetted out to France ahead of the transfer D-Day, we can exclusively reveal shots that the Hammers former talisman is now hiding in the remote areas of Canadia.

Bigfoot Payet, who has been labelled the Abominable No-Man by Hammers fans, has decided to escalate his campaign to escape from the oppressive atmosphere at the London club.

The picture provides incontrovertible evidence that Payet is completely finished at West Ham - having been ejected from the first team squad, Dimitri has fairly piled on the pounds but is otherwise absolutely unmistakeable in his all-white Marseille training kit.

Meanwhile, back in blighty, the Pie-ay house has been described as looking like the Marie-Celeste after the entire family abandoned the place to go shopping for much-needed groceries after their supply of fresh eggs ran out despite the gererous efforts of fans to keep them well supplied.

With all this pressure, it's no wonder that Payet has retreated to the French-speaking North-American wilderness but, as the transfer window closure looms, one suspects that Marseille and the Hammers may yeti come to a deal.


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