Saturday, 16 September 2017

Baggies go for Record as Arnie returns



The Hammers will look to build upon Monday night's win over Huddersfield while the Baggies will want to move on from their saggy performance against Brighton last time out. Games between these two can often be dour affairs but last season's OS clash was a humdinger as the Baggies grabbed an injury time equaliser having previously led. The Hammers dominated that day and were entitled to feel hard done by as there were a number of poor refereeing decisions in the lead up to the goal and they will be hoping that Lady Luck favours the Irons on this occasion.

Gareth Barry will become the player with the greatest number of Premiership appearances as he is selected in West Brom's starting line up. Presuming that he doesn't do a Winston on it and get injured in the warm up! Meanwhile, Bilic persists with the Chicarito out wide and Carroll up top that was reasonably successful against Huddersfield with the returning Marko Arnautovic on the bench but surely likely to get some action. Let's hope that Michail Antonio makes that a late option with another barnstorming performance like he provided on Monday night - terrorising the poor Huddersfield defence popping up on both flanks.

You can get 5/2 against a West Ham win which is decent odds, as is Chicharito at 9/4 to score at some point. We are optimistically going for a 2-1 victory as we reckon Bilic has got it right with the three CB formation at the back for West Ham!!!

West Ham United - Hart, Reid, Cresswell, Fonte, Collins, Zabaleta, Kouyate, Antonio, Obiang, Hernandez, Carroll.

Subs - Adrian, Arnautovic, Sakho, Ayew, Ogbonna, Masuaku, Rice.

Monday, 11 September 2017

Player Ratings: West Ham vs Huddersfield



So, finally, West Ham picked up some points to get their season going in an entertaining game at the OS. In truth, the scoreline was a fair reflection of the action as the Hammers played all the football until Huddersfield pushed forward for a final ten minute flurry that ultimately fizzled out. Pedro Obiang and Andre Ayew scored the all important goals but overall how did each member of the team rate?

Hart (7/10) Looked confident throughout and was alert to the rare occasions when Huddersfield threatened, including a decent strike from Billing mid way through the game.

Reid (8/10) Solid throughout. He remains our best defender.

Cresswell (8/10) Looked back to his old self - tenacious in defence and pushed up at every opportunity. Not bad as our principal set piece taker.

Fonte (7/10) Quiet game - always a good sign for a centre back!

Zabaleta (8/10) Was determined to push the side forward at every opportunity by leading through example. Had his best game for the club so far.

Collins (7/10) Unlucky not to open the scoring in the first half. Dependable as always.

Kouyate (7/10) Lively, if a bit wasteful at times. Great to have him back as he adds energy in midfield.

Obiang (8/10) Lucky with a deflection for the goal but a real engine in midfield, keeping things flowing and maintaining pressure on Huddersfield.

Carroll (7/10) Brilliant to have him back. Decent performance and he looked hungry for action. 80 minutes - phew!

Hernandez (7/10) Rattled the bar in the first half when he should have scored. A few decent flicks that almost opened the Terriers up. Will be disappointed to have been subbed at the hour mark.

Antonio (9/10) MOTM - all he needed was a goal to get a 10/10. Aggressive, energetic and popped up on both wings - a real nightmare to mark.

Subs - Ayew (grabbed a Chicharito-style goal from a pinballed corner: 8/10), Sakho (lively for ten minutes: 7/10), Rice (only on long enough to touch the ball twice but good to see him in the picture still N/A).


Two goals, a clean sheet and the pressure off Mr Bilic - job done!

Keep your eyes peeled for the 69th minute of action!

All eyes will be focused upon the second half as West Ham try to grab the points against Huddersfield at the OS. One fan's tweet is sure to cause a stampede amongst neutral viewers to keep an eye on the action as he has promised a bizarre pitch invasion in the 69th minute!

So far the Hammers have been in control notching 12 attempts to Huddersfield's single effort. Chicharito hit the bar early on but since then the Hammers have been dominant without opening the terriers up. In truth, Huddersfield have looked compact and so far have dealt effectively with the Andy Carroll threat.

Michail Antonio looks sharp and has roasted the Terrirrs full back on a number of occasions, while Winston Reid has been dominant at the back. An early goal would calm the nerves but Huddersfield will fancy their chances if they get to the final quarter without conceding - that's if events in the 69th don't bring the game to a halt!

 

Offensive Look to Bilic's Hammers as the Home Season Begins


Hammers fans will be hoping that the season will finally get going as they face newly promoted Huddersfield town at the OS tonight. As expected, Slaven Bilic has responded to all the speculation about his future by coming out fighting and with an attacking formation that includes Carroll and Chicharito up front. Kouyate is back and will partner Pedro Obiang in midfield but it's not clear who will cover the left wing area - perhaps Chicharito playing out wide with Carroll in the middle? Elsewhere, it's three at the back with Aaron Cresswell looking to impress and starting ahead of Masuaku. Young Declan Rice is on the bench but will be hoping for an opportunity to make amends for his costly slip against Newcastle. The visitors have started well to their life in the Premiership and include Tom Ince as their best known player (to Hammers fans at least!).

Rory Nostradamus is going for the Hammers and a 3-1 win (Hammers are evens for a win, Huddersfield 3-1 and the draw is 12-5 with Paddy Poormaker).


West Ham United - Hart, Reid, Cresswell, Fonte, Zabaleta, Collins, Kouyate, Carroll, Obiang, Hernandez, Antonio.

Subs - Adrian, Sakho, Ayew, Ogbonna, Byram, Masuaku, Rice.

Huddersfield Town - Lossl, Smith, Billing, Kachunga, Mooy, Lowe, Van La Parra, Ince, Mounie, Zanka, Schindler.

Subs - Coleman, Malone, Sabiri, Williams, Depoitre, Hadergjonaj, Hefele.



COYI!!!

Sunday, 3 September 2017

Anyone feeling embarrassed?


During the week I had an enlightening encounter at the leisure centre. As i was packing away my gear into my claret n blue holdall a stranger asked me if it was West ham. The predictably entertaining conversation followed as we discussed all things West ham and I then invited him to join our Derghammers supporters club.

In describing the group I mentioned that we were all 'proper' Hammers - long suffering, passionate fans who enjoy decent football and even if we don't always win!

He then remarked that we sounded old school and not like the fickle new fans who have flooded social media this week with their feelings of anger and outrage - demanding that the board, manager, and various players be gotten rid of!

And all because of three bad results and only acquiring 4 top class signings during the Summer!

Now that is truly embarrassing!

Thursday, 31 August 2017

Sak-Go: Time to Let Diafra go if he wants


The Hammers are in a bit of a crisis already this season - bottom of the league after three games and once again leaking goals for fun!

And now Diafra Sakho is up to his old tricks after being left out against Newcastle - pulling off an Odemwingie-style solo effort by organising his own medical at Rennes! Apparently the French outfit are willing to splash out £9million on him - if so, its surely a no brainer?

Sakho has just a year left on his contract and any seasoned observer would question whether he will ever regain full fitness for a sustained period after a series of setbacks over the past two seasons.

The Hammers need attacking players but with Little Pea, Andy Carroll and the ever improving Toni Martinez we are not too badly off, while Michail Antonio is a decent second striker when needed?

Diafra had a great first season but has done little to impress since. He has stated that he wants to leave such that there seems little point in holding on to him and maybe the fee will bridge the gap in the Carvalho campaign?

Sunday, 13 August 2017

It's Make or Break Time for this Hammer


Andre Ayew has had mixed fortunes since joining West Ham for a then record-breaking £20 million from Swansea last year. His initial time at the club was spent on the injured list after a nasty thigh injury on his debut, but upon returning in October he has huffed and puffed - scoring 6 goals in 25 Premiership outings.

With the arrival of Marko Arnautovic, along with the imminent return of Michail Antonio, Ayew is under pressure to hold on to a starting berth out wide, while the much predicted arrival of William Carvalho will limit opportunities in a more central role. In short, today would be an ideal moment to find his Swansea form!

Ayew has a scoring record just short of a goal every third game whilst playing in the top flight since 1010. At 27 years of age he is entering what should be the pinnacle of his career and has put down that first bedding in year with the Hammers. His time is now...

COYI!!!

 

Coddled-together Hammers travel in hope rather than expectation


Yeuchhhh!
For the unacquainted, Coddle is an Irish (Dublin) dish made up from leftover bacon and sausages that are cooked below boiling point with potatoes and onions. Said to be Dean Swift’s favourite dish, in reality most people find it disgusting!

Because it is made from leftovers it has no specific recipe – and thus gives rise to the term ‘coddled together’ rather like the West Ham team for today’s visit to Ye Olde Trafforde where Slaven Bilic wilkl be without Cheik Kouyate, Manuel Lanzini, Michail Antonio and, of course Andy Sicknote and Diafra Sakho.

Quoted at 11-1 against, it’s hard to see how the Hammers can pull of a win today against a Man United side that is widely tipped to challenge for the title and includes the terrifying prolific (against West Ham anyway!) Romelu Lukaku.

If Man United have a weakness, it is Jose Mourinho’s tendency to play it conservatively against sides who should be there for the taking – hence the difficulty his side had with having so many draws last season.

West Ham will be hoping that they can keep it tight at the back with what is, on paper, an impressive back five. Otherwise, Chicharito will be hoping to mark his return with a goal that, even if he doesn’t celebrate it, West Ham fans certainly will do justice to! However, we expect Bilic to go with a 4-5-1 which would require that Hernandez plays as the lone striker which is his less effective role.

Given the absentees, the main talking points in terms of selection will be around left back (we think Masuaku will get the nod over Cresswell) and centre back (Ogbonna over Fonte/Collins). Will Toni Martinez get a run out for the last 20 minutes? We hope so as he looks ready to make the transition to the first team and we still desperately need striking options.

We refuse to predict a defeat but would gladly take a point at this stage. Bilic tends to spring surprises on opening days, so fingers crossed! At the very least we will get a look at our cool new away kit.


Thursday, 10 August 2017

Hammers look to emulate Spurs!?!



The West Ham third kit has apparently been leaked from an Asian source and reveals how the club are again taking a conservative approach to kit management this season. The home kit is almost unchanged from last season, while the Black away kit looks snazzy in a Thames Ironworks kinda way.

The third kit looks like a white polo shirt with Betway printed on it. It seems unlikely to be a fans favourite over time as it is so bland it almost brings Spurs to mind. Yeuch!

Whatever happened to the Bobby Moore sky blue with double claret hooped design for our away kit???...surely the greatest kit of all time?..Anyone interested in starting a petition to have our greatest ever kit reintroduced?

 

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Chance would be a fine thing...

As the media have gotten themselves all wrapped up in whether Javier Hernandez AKA 'Chicaharito' will celebrate if he scores at Old Trafford on Sunday, they all seem to be missing the point that West Ham with their injury-ravaged squad are unlikely to have the need to ponder such issues as they are likely facing a disappointing start to the season!

With Reid, Antonio, Kouyate and Lanzini all doubtful and the usual suspects stuck in sick bay (Andy Carroll / Diafra Sakho), it will take a truly remarkable performance to beat the odds at Old Trafford.

Punters can get 12-1 against a Hammers win, with a Man United victory quoted at 1/4 by Paddy Poormaker!

You'd take a draw really, I guess, but even that's also considered unlikely at 9/2 against.

Monday, 31 July 2017

Two images that will please all West Ham fans


He's Back-ho! Diafra is training again with the first team. Fingers crossed, he's endured a torrid time with injuries. This is his make or break season.

Meanwhile, Winston Reid is preparing to return after his recent shin operation and word is that West Ham have NO interest in selling him to Everton or indeed anyone else!
.
 

Toffees Grab Winstone Read

The current speculation regarding the future of West ham's Kiwi defensive sensation Winston 'Wonderful' Reid has understandably angered many Hammers fans who feel that having made the most exciting collection of signings to date in the Premiership that the media should look elsewhere when creating speculative transfer news. Maybe try Spurs, for example, where the North London side have contributed nothing to the transfer circus apart from letting one of their best players go to rivals Man City.


The rumour is that Ronald Koeman wants a West Ham centre back - initially, it was speculated that James Collins might make the move - albeit with no apparent foundation and very much flying against Collins' own recent comments about his future: "I’d love to finish my career here....It’s been a major part of my life – I met my wife here, so my family are from the area, and I’m a very lucky boy to have been at such a good club for so long. And hopefully it can continue"

Read more at https://www.whufc.com/news/articles/2017/july/16-july/collins-i-want-end-my-career-west-ham#fWpgoUpMlSpVrBq2.99

As such, tabloid interest has now switched to focus upon Winston Reid.


Just exactly why Reid would want to leave London for Liverpool, or switch from a club where he has been the lynchpin around which our continued rise has been driven, makes no sense. With Everton having lost their best player while West Ham have patiently assembled a top class squad, it seems that West Ham rather than Everton are the better bet for a top six invasion next season. Hammers fans will be calmed by the clue as to the veracity of the story highlighted by the suggested fee of £9million. Ahaaaaahaaaaa. Dream on Toffees! Reid is contracted to 2021 and has a £20 million buyout clause - both for good reason!

As the Lukaku-less Toffees try to regroup, perhaps their efforts can indeed be encouraged by a Winstone Read - but they are more likely to get a read of Ray Winstone's compelling biography than a slice of our Kiwi maestro.   

Meanwhile, Winston Reid is preparing himself for the season when his sustained efforts of recent years are rewarded with some silverware!

COYI!!!


 

Hammers Finally Get Dhliwayo!

It really seems like only yesterday when David Gold and Sullivan took over the helm at a sorry West Ham. Trapped by debt, with a demoralised squad and soon to be relegated, we were on the verge of joining the list of big clubs that experienced the horror of freefall - Leeds, Wolves, Forest, Villa, the Sheffields etc.

Wind forward from 2010 to the present and West Ham are the fastest growing club in Europe with a burgeoning fanbase, 20,000 waiting list for season tickets at the most economically efficient stadium in Britain, and are now ranked 15th richest club on the planet.  

Missing from that list of achievements is 'with a squad to match their new found wealth'. However, as a current Sky News poll indicates, the Hammers are now tackling the issue of having a first team squad to compare with other clubs amongst the World elite. With the top ranked astute signing (Javier Hernandez) and three in the top 20 signings of the Summer so far (Hart (7th), Arnautovic (16th), with Zabaleta strangely excluded!), things are looking up. 

In searching for a suitable phrase (we preferred to avoid 'smarter than a shithouse rat') VERYWESTHAM went searching for quotes and encountered the impressive Matshona Dhliwayo's treasure trove of sayings. Dhliwayo has written books such as '100 Lessons Every Great Man Wants you to Know'  and '50 Lessons Every Wise Mother Teaches Her Son'...We reckon he should extend to include '20 rules for running a football club'....check these out:

 

 “A tree is naked, no matter how big, if it does not have leaves.”  

With the OS and a top class manager, we have the structures - now we are adding the players!

  

 “Talk less. Do more. Fear less. Achieve more.”

Err, I guess the board have read this one and had a quieter but more effective transfer campaign this Summer!

 

“The early bird gets the first worm, but the wisest bird gets the fattest one.” 

With Chicaharito ranked as the best signing of the Summer, we look to have followed this wisdom! 

 

“One bright star is better than a thousand dull moons.” 

No more taking a punt on unproven talent, all four of our signings to date are proven Premiership quality.  

"Keep your friends close, keep your money closer"

For all the disappointments of last season's transfers, the unsuccessful players were mostly on loan deals while Fernandes and Masuaku stand out as decent acquisitions and we are likely to recoup the Feghouli fee.

 

“The pen is mightier than the sword; it should never run out of ink.”

Great work so far but we could still do with another striker and a midfielder with oodles of pace! If you want to play a front two and Lanzini behind them in midfield, our defensive midfielder really needs to be mobile.

 

“Whether your glass is half full or half empty, hope can fill it up.”

Good try Mr Dhliwayo, but 'Forever Blowing Bubbles' captures this philosophy much better!

 

“Don’t strive to be superior to others; strive to be better than you were yesterday.”

Errr...but what about Spurs - it's hard not to smirk at their lack of activity to date - losing Walker to Man City and no arrivals :-)

 

“We all come into the world rocks, but the enlightened leave it diamonds.”

Bloody hell, our kids are suddenly shining again - hats off to Rice, Holland, Martinez, Burke and Cullen. We simply must give them more opportunities in the first team squad rather than sending them out to endure the unsophisticated brutality of the lower leagues - League Two doesn't make diamonds, just tougher rocks!

But as a final thought, let's not let Mr Dhliwayo hog the thoughtfest - with a truly exciting season to look forward to maybe Carl R White captures our sentiments best just now:

“Belief is a wonderful way to pass the time until the facts come in.” 







 

Sunday, 30 July 2017

Lineker so right once again...


Well able for anything the Germans might throw at em

As Gary Lineker once remarked "Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win."

And so it was in the Betway cup yesterday afternoon where a youthful Hammers side dominated a lively encounter before ultimately going down 3-2 on aggregate. 

However, there were many talking points from the two legs as injuries to key players forced Slaven Bilic to field a side that was dominated by players who are on the fringes of the first team squad and, by and large, the youngsters took their opportunity to shine.

Top of the list was young Declan Rice. The Irishman may only be 17 years old but he already looks the part and put in two highly assured displays to build upon his Premiership debut at the end of last season. He seems to have jumped ahead of the two Reece's but only time will tell. With rumours that James Collins may be about to depart, maybe there is room for Rice in his preferred CB spot?

Nathan Holland also shone with his direct style that added considerable excitement to proceedings. At 19 he has plenty of time to make his full break through but on the basis of his preseason performances so far things could happen sooner rather than later. The departure of Sofiane Feghouli and continued disappointing form of Robert Snodgrass add weight to such a possibility.

Toni Martinez has been banging in the goals for the U23 PL2 team for some time and got to open his account yesterday with a delightful headed goal from Andre Ayew's delightful cross. Martinez is now 20 and is surely close to transitioning to the first team squad - that Ashley Fletcher was let go despite the continued injury issues with Carroll and Sakho suggests that SuperSlav may well be thinking of promoting Martinez this season?

Otherwise, Josh Cullen and Reece Burke also enjoyed decent performances, while amongst the more senior players Marko Arnautovic looks sharp and scored on his full debut. Hart and Zabaleta look to be settling in well, while at left back Arthur Masuaku seems to be winning the contest with Aaron Cresswell for the left back berth for the Premiership opener on August 13th against Man United. In midfield, it's good to see Pedro Obiang back to his energetic best and also assuming leadership responsibilities as Captain.

Next up it's off to Hamburg to face minnows Altona 93 where one assumes we can expect to see more of our developing talent and possibly a debut for CHicharito?  With our current injury situation whereby Lanzini, Noble, Kouyate, Reid, Antonio, Carroll and Sakho are all absent, we may well need some of the youngsters for the Old Trafford tie.



Saturday, 29 July 2017

The big Issue West Ham need to address in order to become a top six club



West Ham: A club plagued by injuries!
 
West Ham have sent out a strong message to their Premiership rivals with their activity in the Summer transfer window to date. On paper, the Hammers can put out a match day squad to match almost any side BUT a new report highlights a major barrier to the club progressing to the next level - INJURIES!

The JLT sports injury index provides a detailed analysis of the extent and impact of injuries upon Premiership clubs and their report for the 2016/7 season reveals a fact that Hammers fans are only too aware of - we are a VERY injury-prone club!

(https://www.jltspecialty.com/~/media/files/sites/specialty/insights-sport/jlt_sp_sportsinjuryindex_2017.pdf?la=en-gb)

The Hammers are ranked 4th highest in the significant injuries count, with a horrific tally of 50 (behind Arsenal and Man United on 51 each, and Sunderland with 58), West Ham have the highest count for total days lost at 2,223!!!

In recent years Slaven Bilic has moved the training facility to Rush Green in an effort to reduce injuries but as our pre-season campaign demonstrates, we seem to be worse off than ever with Lanzini, Antonio, Kouyate and Reid all absent along with longstanding sicknoters Andy Carroll and Diafra Sakho. As such, it seems unlikely that we will get to field our strongest matchday side as we seem to have chronic injury problems.

Thankfully, all of our new arrivals have decent previous injury records and in all honesty Andy Carroll and Diafra Sakho are major factors in our injury absence rankings, but perhaps the difficulties reflect more ingrained issues? While there is nothing to suggest that our medical team is any less effective than other clubs, the increasing focus upon fielding experienced players and failure to progress our youth talent into the first team squad has resulted in our squad becoming older and older, with an associated increased issue with injuries.

The performances of our 'kids' in preseason give some cause for hope that we might see the likes of Josh Cullen, Toni Martinez, Nathan Holland, Reece Burke or Declan Rice figuring during our Premiership campaign this year but the sceptics will point to similar false dawns during previous years whereby our youngsters have all eventually gone out on loan to lower league sides. Moreover, the year-long loan of Reece Oxford to Borussia Munchengladbach serves to highlight the gap between the U23 set up and penetrating our first team squad.

While we all want to see West Ham push to the highest possible position in the Premiership, one characteristic that has always defined the much-fabled 'West Ham Way' is the club's determination to give home grown talent a chance to blossom. Our injury statistics highlight a good reason to consider the balance between experience and youth in our squad.




 

We DON'T Predict a Riot



After all the joy of purchasing new players, attentions have turned to the terror of potentially losing our existing stars. Just now there is a focus upon Manny Lanzini, with speculative reports that he is set to move to Anfield as a replacement for Barca-bound Coutinho. Some enraged Hammers fans have expressed their disapproval in the strongest possible terms - even threatening to riot if Lanzini departs!

However, there is little likelihood that Hammers fans will be needing to stock up on milk bottles and the like just yet as West Ham have made it clear that Lanzini is central to our future plans and, importantly, is only a year into his current 4 year contract. Quite simply, there is no reason to sell our main playmaker - if anything, we need an understudy.



In reality, West Ham fans can expect these type of rumours to continue all Summer - brace yourselves for 'Antonio unsettled', 'Kouyate bust up' ...deblah blah..Messrs Gold and Sullivan may have toned down the media speculation about our transfer activity of late but as the quote from the Wire goes 'play or be played' and that sums up the determination to find media fodder.

Lanzini to stay and lead our charge into the top six next year!

COYI!

 

The Princess and the Little Pea: It's Hans Christian Anderson Time at West Ham


When West Ham left Upton Park this time last year it was a poignant moment, softened by the belief that we would be moving to bigger and better things. The expectation was that we would no longer have to sell on our best young talent and would be a buying rather than a selling club. Our recent transfer activity indicates that we have made that transition and with a host of quality arrivals we are ready to launch a genuine attack upon a top six place in the Premiership. 

Fairy tale stuff, perhaps, but if we are to enjoy that kind of success our offence needs to dominate games more than in previous seasons. Chicharito - the Little Pea - certainly has the poaching ability that we have lacked since Jermain Defoe while this season will surely be the one where Andy Carroll's destiny is finally decided. If he fails to deliver - for whatever reason - his time at the club will be deemed a failure, while if he can link up with Hernandez and provide a 30-goal partnership then all the patient waiting will be deemed worthwhile!

With that in mind, Hammers fans will be hoping that SuperSlav doesn't have one of his tactical blind spots (yes, we are referring to the crazy right back experiment of last season) and recognises that Chicarito delivers best from a two man attack. With Big Andy creating space and winning possession, Antonio and Arnautovic powering down the wings and the Jewel weaving his wand in the middle, we have an attack that looks genuinely scary. 


—– Hart —–

— Zabaleta — Reid — Ogbonna — Cresswell —
 
—– Kouyate —–
 
—  Antonio — Lanzini — Arnautovic

— Hernandez — Carroll —
 

Fairytale or nightmare for opponents? Time will tell!

Thursday, 27 July 2017

How Bizarre, How Bizarre!

It's a laugh a minute at West Ham right now - with the arrival of a host of top signings, fans are now finding amusement in some of the sad efforts of our Premiership rivals to steal some of our Jewels on the cheap!

First up - The Jewel- is reportedly wanted by Liverpool as a replacement for Philippe Coutinho. While that would make for a good deal for Mr Klopp and Co., it's hard to see why the Hammers would undo all the good work of the transfer window by selling their principal playmaker. In short - No, No, No...go away Liverfools!

Staying in Merseyside, it has also emerged that Everton are looking to sign James Collins as a replacement for the injured Ramires Funes Mori. Happily, in a recent interview Ginge made it clear that at 33 years old he expects to see out his career at West Ham and, as last season demonstrated, he still has plenty to offer when called upon. Moreover, although the Reece's and Declan Rice are all top prospects, they are not quite ready to step up to first team football on a regular basis.

And then the most amusing of them all - Palace want Adrian for a mere £3million!!! NO, apparently that's not a season long loan fee but a full transfer bid. With Darren Randolph departed it would make NO sense to let Adrian go, especially for a comedy fee!

As the Otaro Millionaires Club remarked in their 1995 hit - 'How Bizarre'!

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Is It Boomerang Time For The Striker That Got Away?

With the arrival of Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez we are reminded just how 'unlucky' Messrs Sullivan and Gold have been with previous strikers - with more than 90% of their previous three dozen or so acquisitions failing to get anywhere close to reaching even double figures in their periods at the club.

During that time, the Hammers signed a young Irish talent to their development squad - Sean Maguire. Arriving from Waterford United in 2013, he was tipped as a potential Cottee-Defoe type striker, but never quite made the grade and returned to Ireland in 2015. Since then he has topped the League of Ireland goal scoring for two consecutive seasons netting an incredible 52 goals in 68 appearances for Cork City.

Still only 23 years old, Maguire has just returned to England, having signed for Preston North End and last night signalled his intentions by scoring an excellent individual goal on his debut against Burnley. Picking the ball up some 40 yards from goal, Maguire carved open the Burnley defence before coolly slotting home from just inside the penalty area - classy!



Maguire looks set to get a call up for the Republic of Ireland senior squad in the near future which will give him an opportunity to demonstrate his talents even further. Who knows. perhaps a return to the Hammers at some point in the coming seasons is on the cards?   

Arnautovic Update

The Hammers new winger in full flight!

The arrival of a host of possible new fan favourites during the Summer window has put West Ham fans under considerable pressure in order to find suitable nicknames for the new arrivals. In particular, Marko Arnautovic poses a real challenge as Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez comes with a ready made label.

So far, fans have suggested 'Arnie' after that famous Austrian actor / politician Arnold Schartzenegger, but given that his most famous role was playing a Sci-Fi version of Julian 'The Terminator' Dicks playing space soccer, that would unacceptably impinge upon an existing club legend.

Amongst the Schwartzenegger alternatives would be 'Predator', but that might cause all manner of confusion as the football boot of the same name have been discontinued since 2015 and there is also the appauling spectre of unnecessarily awakening the image of Craig Johnson and Co. in their 1980s pomp - yeuch!

No No No

Other Schwartzenegger options include 'Conan the Barbarian', 'The Running Man', the Hammers appropriate - 'Pumping Iron' or, if he succumbs to the Tore-Feghouli-Snodgras syndrome, 'Raw Deal'.

However, given the focus upon Marko's Austrian-ness, maybe we should look towards the second most famous Austrian of all time - Bruno. Whatever else about the faux-Austrian model, he has a consistently cutting edge that we will be needing next season if we are to realise our top-six aspirations! 

COYI!!!

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

Home and Away: These are the West Ham formations that can bring a top six finish next season

With the arrival of Javier Hernandez there is a sense that West Ham are now truly ready to push for a place amongst the big boys of the Premiership! A key issue for Slaven Bilic will be how best to employ his resources to bring the necessary results - both home and away.

Last season, West Ham initially struggled at home and found it hard to break visiting teams down. Where a team decides to park the bus we need to be able to open them up and the addition of Chicarito and Arnautovic adds the kind of offensive quality that will bring goals - even against the most determined and well organised visitors!

Playing the Carroll - Chicarito two up front card is an absolutely mouth watering prospect (if Sakho gets fit then he would add another dimension to this) and with the intensity of Antonio and Arnautovic down the wings while Lanzini waves his wand in the centre it looks hard to see how opposition defences will cope! Obviously, some visiting teams (Chelsea/Man City / Arsenal) require that we play a less open formation and for these sides perhaps Away option A is better suited even though we will be the hosts.

Away from home, we can play a tighter formation with just one forward and keeping Big Andy and / or Sakho as game-changing substitutes (or maybe start with Carroll as he is also so useful from defensive set pieces). Away option B includes three centre backs which emerged towards the end of last season as an effective defensive set up where we want to suffocate opponents. This is likely to be even more effective with the added pace to our counterattacking that Hernandez and Arnautovic will bring.

Obviously, for the formations below one can readily substitute Noble for either Kouyate or Obiang, Masuaku for Cresswell, Fonte for Ogbonna and Adrian for Hart.

Exciting times - it looks like we have the squad to match our stadium and aspirations. This will be a big year for SuperSlaven - he needs to deliver upon what we have been patiently moving towards over the past five years. This year can be the one where we finally break into the top six.


Home Option
 
—– Hart —–
— Zabaleta — Reid — Ogbonna — Cresswell —
—– Kouyate —–
—  Antonio — Lanzini — Arnautovic
— Hernandez — Carroll —
 
 
Away Option A
—– Hart —–
— Zabaleta — Reid— Ogbonna  — Cresswell —
— Obiang — Kouyate —-
—  Antonio — Lanzini — Arnautovic
—– Hernandez —–
 
 
Away Option B
—– Hart —–
— Zabaleta — Fonte — Reid— Ogbonna  — Cresswell —
— Kouyate —
—  Antonio — Lanzini — Arnautovic
—– Hernandez —–
 

Sunday, 23 July 2017

Arnautovic: Big Questions Emerge Already


The arrival of Austrian international Marko Arnautovic for a club record £24 million fee is a real signal of intent by West Ham. With Javier Hernandez due to undergo a medical in the coming days. Things look rosy in the Hammers garden!

But already there are uncertainties as to the appropriate nickname for our new talent...should it be 'Arnie' after his famous bodybuilding countryman, which in turn might impinge upon the territory of Hammers legend Julian 'Terminator Dicks? Maybe we could just call him 'Vic' with the readymade Department S chant on offer? Or maybe in anticipation of some of the shenanigans that characterised his earlier career we might follow the tabloids example and call him 'Mad Marko'. Let's hope the latter is not needed.

And then there's the issue of his squad number. Arnautovic prefers the number 10 but that has become owned by Manny Lanzini. Maybe Arnautovic might take number 4 from the departed Havard Nordtveit? Or, given the likelihood that Arnautovic's arrival will hasten the exit of Sofiane Feghouli, maybe he should wait for the number 7 to become vacant?

Or maybe he might bring the number 27 back into the equation? Maybe...

Friday, 21 July 2017

Have the bookies got it wrong about West Ham?


Things are looking up at West ham with the arrival of series of exciting signings to join a squad that already has a decent amount of quality players. Factor in that the club have survived their first year at the new stadium, which was finally starting to feel and sound like home towards the end of the season, and things look very positive indeed.

However, the team at Paddy Power don't quite see it that way quoting the Hammers at just 8/1 for relegation and manager Slaven Bilic as second least likely boss to get the manager of the year award (33/1)!

Many fans will feel that with the new signings ahar the Hammers might push on for a top six spot but the odds are 16/1 - making us twice as likely to get relegated as to qualify for Europe!

That sounds a bit harsh and some fans might want to seize the opportunity to prove the bookies wrong.

By the way, we are 200/1 to finish as the top London club, with a top 4 finish is quoted at 45/1, while being crowned outright Premiership champions is 500/1!

Remember the last time it felt this right?


After a quiet start to the Summer suddenly things are looking very interesting at West ham. With Pablo Zabaleta string to sort out the right back problem and Joe Hart to add presence between the sticks, the defence looks solid, and now the arrivals of Marco Arnautovic and Javier Hernandez look imminent, suddenly we've got a decent looking team!

So mush so that Jose Mourinho is tipping us as a good outside bet to challenge for the Premiership! Wow!

However, one suspects all Hammers fans have that inner naysayer who is whispering into our ears a terrifying loop that includes " ...2006 / Magnusson / Ljungberg-Dyer-Bellamy...".

That said, it's a mouth watering prospect to think of putting out a starting XI that could include Hart, Zabaleta, Reid, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Kouyate, Obiang, Lanzini, Antonio, Arnautovic, Hernandez.

Maybe the special one has got a point!

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Striker, Striker, Striker!!!


After last night's toothless encounter with Austrian third tier outfit Sturm Graz 2 it's surely time that fans started to shout louder for that much needed striker - NO, not the 1970's board game, but a real 2017 player who can score goals at the highest level!

Having created a host of gilt-edged chances in the first half, with last season's star offensive signing Andre Ayew chief culprit with at least three unconverted one on ones with the keeper, the game petered out for a 0-0 draw!

On the positive side, there were good performances from young Nathan Holland and Pablo Zaballeta, as well as welcome returns for Pedro Obiang and Arthur Musuaku, but we looked blunt and lacking in the final third. There's a long way to go before we can set the Premiership alight!

Both Andy Carroll and Diafra Sakho sat out proceedings as their seemingly endless rehabilitation programmes continued. The rumour mill suggests that Chicarito is edging closer towards a move to West Ham - let's hope we can finally bring a consistent and injury-free forward to the club.... 

Monday, 17 July 2017

Hammers Sign Ghidorah - but is three a crowd?


There can be no doubting that West Ham fans are hungry for new signings to boost a squad that stuttered through much of last season. The arrival of Pablo Zabaletta was a decent start as the right back berth has been an open wound for much of the campaign, but the arrival of Joe Hart on a one year contract seems to make little or no sense at all!

At present, West Ham have two excellent keepers who both endured dodgy spells last term trying to shore up a defence that was creaking and lost its confidence. Both paid the price with demotions to the bench but in all honesty most Hammers fans would admit that, apart from brief dodgy spells last year, both Adrian and Darren Randolph have been largely excellent during their West Ham careers. "Usually excellent but prone to the odd gaff" - sounds like a description that would readily fit Joe Hart - so now we have three similarly talented/error-prone keepers??? 

Even worse, keepers thrive on confidence and stability - hardly something that will be boosted by the arrival of an interloper on loan for just a year. Destabilising or what? It's hard to fathom what the management are thinking! If this arrival forces out either Adrian or Randolph (which seems inevitable) what will we have gained? 

In the fifth Godzilla movie, Ghidorah was a three headed reptilian monster from Mars who waged war on Earth until Godzilla and Rodan got fed up and sent him back into outer space! Ghidorah's weakness was having too many heads to choose from - something Slaven Bilic might want to consider as we prepare for next season where we will need a more assured defence than last year!

Is There Something Amiss In Our Coaching Set Up?


Well who would have thought it - Jonathan Calleri arrived at West Ham last year hailed as the next Carlos Tevez. Just like Tevez he endured a difficult start adjusting to the Premiership, but unlike the Apache his luck did not improve and he became a forlorn looking figure before exiting for Las Palmas last month. In total he managed just one goal in 18 games for West Ham and amassed a series of terrible howlers, including a highly amusing attempted rabona shot against Stoke City in April when a tap in would have sufficed!

It will therefore come as a bit of a shock to Hammers fans that he scored not once, but twice for Las Palmas in his debut last night! Add this to the fact that the goalless Simone Zaza notched 6 in 18 appearances for Valencia after his West Ham nightmare ended midway through last season, you'd have to wonder whether our attacking coaching set up is getting the best out of these players?

One solution would have been to bring back Teddy Sheringham but he has recently moved to the Indian Super League as manager of Atletico de Kolkata. As we seek a big name striker to address our lack of attacking firepower, maybe we also need to ask some questions about our support network for these players?


BTW if you want to take a look at Calleri's rabona howler check out this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SbKGFt5fQo&t=19s
 

Sunday, 16 July 2017

West Ham and the Green Eyed Monster


Two Peas in a Pod...
It's hard not be a little envious of fans of other clubs who have already made their mark on the transfer market as the Hammers go cap in hand seeking the signature of a variety of overvalued players who are ready to cash in on the endless wealth of the Premiership. Man United and Everton have been quick out of the blocks and will be feeling well satisfied with their business to date. Envious, we may be, but perhaps the green-eyed monster is the solution to our woes. 

Javier Hernandez AKA 'Chicarito' (the little pea) is well known to West Ham fans from his spells at Manchester United, Real Madrid and most recently Bayer Leverkusen. His goalscoring record speaks for itself and of all of the potential striking signings that have been mooted so far this Summer, he looks the one most likely to deliver the 15-20 goals per season that we need to push for a European spot. 

Having both a father (Chicaro - pea due to his green eye colour) and grandfather as Mexican Internationals, he has considerable pedigree (and has notched 48 international goals in 96 internationals). Having just turned 29 years old, his last three seasons in Germany have seen him grab 39 goals in 76 appearances. He has a season left on his contract and a E13million release clause, but his demands of apparently £140k per week pose the main stumbling block.  

The bookies have installed the Hammers as 5/6 favourites to sign the little pea, with a stay at Leverkusen quoted at 11/8. Interestingly, although Chelsea are rumoured to be interested, Spurs (8/1), Man United (14/1) and Liverpool (20/1) are the other English clubs quoted.

Hernandez looks like the sort of quality capture that the Hammers need to set out their stall as a ‘big’ club who want to compete with the best. Fingers crossed…

 

Friday, 14 July 2017

Hammers Still Stuck at the Wrong End of the Pitch


Zzzzzzz. It's been a much quieter transfer period so far this year as the Hammers board have realised the wisdom of keeping your cards close to your chest. So far, the striker speculation has mostly been about a variety of modest performers Premiership - Gray, Bony, Rondon, Slimani...Let's hope we can find something a bit more exciting further afield as it's hard to see any of that list of sub 20-goals per season strikers changing us into top six contenders.

Otherwise, we seem stuck looking at the option of a new netminder. In all honesty, the Randolph / Adrian competition is very positive and although both experienced dips in form last season, the reality is that over the past few years they have both excelled and are reaching the peak of their careers. All of which raises the question - do we really need Joe Hart? A season long loan would surely just serve to destabilise an area of the squad that thrives on stability and confidence?

Also, it looks like our first two signings will both be defensive. While you can argue that defensively we were weak last term, in reality apart from the silly situation at right back, our lack of an attacking threat allowed teams to push on to us and exposed us defensively. Add some pace and a cutting edge to our attack and the defence will inevitably improve without major changes in personel (apart from Zabaletta, who looks like a good acquisition).
Happily, Slaven Bilic has revealed that the club is not interested in bringing in lots of unproven squad boosting players but are focussing upon trying to acquire players who will slot straight into the starting XI. Next season truly is a big one for the club - there can be no more whinging about adapting to a new stadium or building financially as we are now a big club with the finances and structures that big clubs have. It's time to think big and stay away from the bargain basement - Payet was an aberration and even then we eventually got to discover why he was a budget buy! 

Let's hope the silence is a measure of the fact that we are doing serious business.