Friday 29 May 2015

Farewell Dan Potts

In disappointing news this week a host of younger players at Upton Park have been let go in the annual review of contracts. The most high profile of the bunch, which includes Kieran Bywater, Sean Maguire, Paul McCallum, Jerry Amoo, Kieran Bailey and Taylor Tombides, is Dan Potts - a player that many tipped to follow in the footsteps of his dad - Hammers hero Steve Potts who was Hammer of the year in 1995.

Sadly, despite 13 appearances for the first team , things haven't kicked on for Dan and it is time to look for new opportunities elsewhere. Swift of feet and with a good footballing head, young Dan performed excellently during all of his opportunities in the first team but perhaps his relative lack of physicality has impeded his perceived ability to compete at the highest level. The rise and rise of Aaron Cresswell coupled with the arrival of Stephen Hendrie as back up for the left back berth has signalled the end for young Dan.

We wish him the very best and just maybe he might make a triumphant return at some stage!

Monday 25 May 2015

Jenkinson Dreaming of European Nights at Upton Park?

...It's Jenkinson, he's still going, he's through on goal...yesssssss!
At least one player isn't losing any sleep over the management issue at West Ham! Pictured here heading off on his holidays to Greece, Carl Jenkinson has had a terrific season at right back but now his future is unclear as his loan period has ended and he may be returning to Arsenal. However, with opportunities still likely to be limited at the Emirates, West ham fans will be hoping that we can capture him for at least another season on loan and maybe a permanent move can be arranged.

Although West ham's season ended poorly, it is worth noting that with the emergence of Aaron Cresswell, Diafra Sakho, Cheik Kouyate and young Reece Burke, the team have grown in stature with much to look forward to for the incoming manager.

Capturing Jenks would be a perfect start to the next campaign but Arsenal are hanging tough for any transfer deal with a transfer fee of around £10 million being cited for the sleepy one.

Is Jenkinson worth that much? What do you think? 

Lomas Enters the Fray!

With the departure of Sam Allardyce straight after yesterday's Premiership finale, all eyes are on West Ham to see who will take up the hotseat at what the club has labelled "currently the most exciting job in football".

With ex-Hammer Slaven Bilic the firm favourite with the bookies, thee has been surprisingly little focus on another of the club's alumni - former captain Steve Lomas.

Having had hugely successful stints with the Saints at St Neots town and then St Johnstone, Lomas then excelled with a stint at the sinners of Millwall FC where he delivered a superb 25% win rate during his six month reign.

Unfortunately, the Saff London 'Lions' found the bright lights of success too much to handle and duly sacked the Claret n Blue hero - no small part in the chaos that has subsequently resulted in their tragic relegation to the third tier.

With such an awesome record of loyalty to the Hammers cause astute observers see him as a mere shoe-in for the gaffers job at Fortress Boleyn!

Sunday 24 May 2015

All of a sudden we need to win!

There are two targets for today - seal the Europa League spot and make the top ten.

Suddenly today's game has more significance than expected as Liverpool have slumped at Stoke and Spurs are winning at Everton. The net effect is that Liverpool would take the Europa League Fair Play spot (if they stay ahead of us on the complex rating system).

We need Everton to get a draw and if we beat Newcastle we will still be in the top ten...


We really dont want Spurs to nab our Euro spot, do we?

'Dyin Crapshooter's Blues' at 'St James' Infirmary'

The brass band will be on standby today for the Premiership finale at St James' Park where Newcastle need to win to ensure their survival in the top flight.

If things go badly for the Toon, perhaps the most appropriate tune would be the Louis Armstrong classic from 1928 - "St James' Infirmary" which traditionally details the demise of a soldier from venereal disease having squandered his cash on prozzies and liquor.

Yes, he was actually blind!

In fact, the song originates from England with said infirmary located in London. Having travelled to the US, it appeared under various guises and names, including Blind Willie McTell's adaptation in 1940 as "The dyin' crapshooter's blues" - an apt title given that both sides in today's match have been freefallin' due to offensive profligacy!

Sticking with the Tom Petty theme, the Toon army will be praying that he doesn't don his Premiership Chief's hat and break into his other classic "Don't come around here no more"

We predict a crazy 2-2 draw with Hull failing in their quest to beat Manchester United.

Saturday 23 May 2015

Allardici to Sign Off the Italian Way

During his time at West Ham there has been intermittent talk of Sam Allardyce as a tactical mastermind of Italian proportions prompting the nickname 'Allardici'.

Tomorrow sees him lead his Hammers troops to his old enemy at Newcastlle - a club that disrespected him with the sack after a mere seven months!

The smart money is on Sam doing his old mate Steve Bruce at Hull a favour while settling an Italian-style vendetta with Nooocassel...

Either way, the subplot adds at least a little intrigue to a match that otherwise represents a snoozefest for Hammers fans.

Bentley Suffers the Horrors!

Poor Dan Bentley - the hero for Southend all season with consistently competent displays. And again today he has been excellent throughout a tense League Two play off final but tragically suffered the misfortune of conceding an own goal as a Wycombe free kick came back off the bar and deflected off his back and into the net.

Even though it was in no way his fault, one suspects that there will be little that will console the lad - not even Southend's finest, the aptly named Horrors - an their classic 'Endless Blue'. Here they are at Wilson Hall in New York City...cheer up lads!

.....But wait! Even as despondent Southend fans are filing out, they snatched an equaliser with 20 seconds of ET's PENALTIES!!!

Yes indeed....and after an early Southend miss, Bentley saved Wycombe's's truly horrible for the later penalty takers to have to step up under soooo much pressure but....

you know what's coming next...

yes, he did!

Well done Shrimpers!!!!

Maybe Dan will be playing in the Europa League in a few weeks?


Watch West Ham's future keeper at Wembley today

The rise and rise of Southend United's 21 year old goalkeeper Daniel Bentley continues today as he is served with keeping Wycombe Wanderers at bay during the League Two play off final at Wembley.

Born in Basildon, Daniel has amassed over 100 appearances for the Shrimpers that includes a club record set this year for consecutive clean sheets. At 6ft 4 he is an imposing presence and will be a considerable asset if today's game goes to the dreaded penalty shoot out!

Not surprisingly, he has been repeatedly linked with a move to the Hammers and with 74 year old Jussi Jaaskelainen forced to retire this Summer due to EU elder abuse regulations would make the perfect understudy to Adrian.

Good luck out there today Daniel!

Come on you Shrimpers!!!

While all is quiet around Upton Park ahead of the mostly meaningless final fixture of the Premiership season away to the Toon tomorrow, attentions turn to the considerably more interesting League Two play off final at Wembley today where Southend United take on Wycombe Wanderers.

The Shrimpers are slight favourites despite coming off worse in the two fixtures between these sides so far this season, which included a 4-1 drubbing at Wycombe in December. Otherwise, these sides are closely matched having both achieved 84 points over the season.

Shrimpers boss Phil Brown has reputedly saved a fortune on sunbed costs since moving to the seaside resort and will be hoping to continue his stay at the club in League one next year.

VERYWESTHAM will be cheering on our Essex cousins and no doubt the great Bobby Moore will be in all of our thoughts during the big match.

Good luck guys!

Wednesday 20 May 2015

Our Next Manager Can Sing Better Than LVG!

Amidst all the overearnest Stevie G string palaver this last week, footie fans were also treated to possibly the seasons funniest moment when Man U manager LVG mimicked a crowd of brain dead fans with his rendition of the LVG chant. Hilarious or what!!!

Hammers fans will be hoping that their next manager is just as witty but maybe also a little more melodic. This video suggests that one of the outside shots could certainly fit that requirement for the job!

Redknapp Understudy Enters Managerial Race

Right now just about anybody could get the attention of Hammers fans as a potential candidate to replace Big Sam in the hotseat. The most recent name linked with the position is little known Ukrainian Viktor Skyrpnyk who currently manages Werder Bremen. We know nothing about him whatsoever, but he's now in the running, apparently.

As the race (sort of) hots up, Moyes and Benitez remain front runners, while interest in Steve McClown has apparently cooled. One report even suggested that ex-Hammer's forward Serhiy Rebrov (2004: 27 games with one goal!) might take over! At VWH we still think that Slaven Bilic will ultimately take the job, but if he doesn't then we expect another Redknapp pupil to step up and take on the role...

This shot, taken from 1999 outside Parkhead, provides more than adequate evidence of a possible link with the manager's position at West ham that justifies James 'baby' James' inclusion in the betting with odds of 100Foinavons/1.

Go for it my Son. No, really. GO FOR IT MY SON!!!

Monday 18 May 2015

Is Romelu Lukaku in League with the Devil?

Saturday's match between West Ham and Everton has caused a stir as the Wicked Curse of the Toffees was once again in evidence. Unbelievably, the Hammers managed to throw away a leading position during the evil mist of injury time awarded by referee Kevin Fiend. But, even as Romelu Lukaku lapped up the plaudits for stealing the winning goal, concerns were being expressed by many Hammers fans regarding "almost definite evidence of possible foul play and demonic trickery".

Your guess is as good as mine!
Having set a new record of scoring in every of his six games against West Ham (Six goals in Six games for Six efforts.....isn't anybody seeing the connection?), questions have been posed as to how a usually average striker can suddenly discover such Robert Johnson-like abilities!

Unspeakably evil

Jeremy Brownpoodle, a well known exorcist from the west Essex region, has been commissioned to investigate the fiendish happenings - "We are all aware of the rumours about Everton and Satan Baines free kick wizardry, but these latest happenings suggest a further rise in use of the occult in the Everton team since Roberto Martinez arrived".

Speaking exclusively to our spiritual affairs correspondent, Brownpoodle illuminated the whole Satanic process for Hammers fans - "People think that there is just Satan, but in fact there are many demons each of whom has a theme to their trickery. While Satan is the Prince of witches and warlocks, Beelzebub trades in envy and gluttony, Lucifer is the dark prince that pedals excessive pride, while Belial is the inventor of evil things. It seems that Everton are behoven to many of these evil forces and their punishment is likely to be that they will serve as underlings to their neighbours at Anfield".

Brownpoodle has promised to go back to the very beginning and examine the theory that the source of the curse may have been the outrageous sending off of Ludek Miklosko in 1995 - a distasteful occurence that required the heroic Julian Dicks to occupy the goals. 


This was later followed by the grotesque events around the Di Canio ‘fair’ play award, where our top striker was suddenly possessed and decided to forego the opportunity to stuff the Toffees so that the Everton keeper could tie his shoelaces up after they had tragically come undone mid-action!

And this season has provided yet more damning evidence of witchcraft or similar tomfoolery, with two bizarre and undeserved victories for Everton against West Ham…Not surprisingly, many Hammers fans have described Saturday's performance as diabolical!!!

Sunday 17 May 2015

Gosh Josh! Hammers Irish Star Strikes to Stun Chelsea

With the likelihood of West ham facing the additional burden of Europa League football 'next' season (i.e. in 6 weeks time!), there will be huge pressure on the squad. As such, there is likely to be lots of opportunity for top level game time for our emerging stars.

The famed West Ham academy has been less productive over recent years but increasingly it looks like that trend is about to change. The emergence of Reece Burke as a first team player, with England U19 captain Reece Oxford close behind him with an increasing presence on the matchday squad serve as evidence that we may have some serious talent coming through.

In addition, Republic of Ireland Under 19 star Josh Cullen has impressed as another who might make the transition to the grown ups and has also recently made it to the first team subs bench.

Hammers fans got a taste of his potential when he scored a screamer to seize a 1-0 victory in the last minute of Friday's development squad fixture against Chelsea at Stamford bridge.

Treat yourself to a look at a Hammers star of the near future!

Saturday 16 May 2015

West ham romp home as shambolic Everton drift into disarray

Good man Seamus!

Blah blah Everton snatch late consolation with Lukaku winning strike, but after an ill-disciplined showing where the Toffees picked up 4 yellow cards to West ham's one, the Europa League spot is looking like a shoe-in for the Hammers!

However, on a less posotive note, the competition is decided on more than just cautions, and the 'coming together' of some players after the final whistle may not be viewed so positively by the fair play panel. None the less, on the basis of what we know about how points are awarded, it looks more and more like the Hammers may be jetting off to exotic destinations for a kick around in July.

Its still very unclear whether Big Sam will be leading that charge with many fans again pushing today for an end to his reign.

Crisis at Upton Park Jeopardises Today's Everton Fixture

As the reality of the move to the Olympic Stadium becomes ever closer, West Ham announced yesterday that the famous John Lyall entrance gates would be making the trip to adorn the club's new home.

You're coming with us...

While this announcement brought relief for many concerned fans, it appears to have sparked a mutiny in  the stadium's equipment department that could force today's match against Everton to be postponed.

Upon learning of the arrangements for the gates, the goal posts have threatened to refuse to stand upright for the game until they receive an assurance that they too will be making the move! Their union representative, Bob Underwood, insisted that the club provide clarity on the matter " it's one thong messing the players about over whether Big Sam will be at the club next year, but my members have been loyal to the club for years and deserve better. What's more is that they've endured no end of needless abuse over the years and hardly uttered a word in protest".

Similarly, the Premiership Lawnmowers Association have warned that their members may join the mutiny if the club dont make immediate moves to ensure that they will be in the Premiership when the move to the new stadium occurs "It's undignified for these top of the range machines to be forced to mow Chumpionship grass".

It is not known whether the corner flags will also enter the dispute as relations between the lateral accouterments and the goalposts have been poor for a number of years after they fell out amidst claims of 'arrogance' on the part of the goalposts "they think that they are more important than us, but for a Big Sam team we are the cornerstone of our most productive setpiece" said one corner flag yesterday. "They think they're the dogs bollocks with their nets and clips and various other equipment lingerie, but we are a much better prop for goal celebrations and the like".

Meanwhile, our intrepid reporter has discovered a cunning way to avoid the £75 entrance ransom for today's match...

 I must dig out that fireman Sam costume...

Thursday 14 May 2015

This is what the Europa League Really Means!

Dnipro fans endure another Europa League Snoozefest
The English media has a negative perspective of the merits of the Europa League- at times ridiculing the competition as a damp squib.

It has even been suggested that West Ham and Everton might try to deliberately sabotage their chances of qualification under the fair play rules by playing to get yellow cards during this weekends penultimate Premiership fixture.

All of which contrasts with the pitch invasion staged by Dnipro fans after they dispatched Rafa Benitez's Napoli during the midweek Europa League semi final.

Maybe a Europa voyage might be more fun than our media is letting on?

Tuesday 12 May 2015

'Affordable Football'...Bah Humbug!

bjs bjs bjs...
The West Ham board have been indulging in no end of self congratulation over their proposed ticket prices for the first season at the Olympic Stadium. With prices starting at £279 it really does seem to represent a great deal.

But what of now - prices for the snoozefest that is West Ham versus Everton next weekend range from £65 to £75! I suppose one might argue that it is the final home game of the season but that line of thought loses credibility when one considers that prices for our actual final game of the season away at Newcastle start at £27.

So what about across Europe? Bayern Munich match prices start at E15 (that's about a tenner in sterling!) with season tickets priced at just over £100. Similarly, the cheap tickets at Barcelona work out at just over £100 for a season. Or maybe Ajax?...(season ticket from E243), or mighty Sporting Lisbon (£55 for a season ticket).

And for Hammers fans who want to follow departing midfielder Seb Lletget as he moves to LA Galaxy, a season ticket for next year starts at $247...thats about £150.

Best of luck dude!
Or how about the greatest fixture on Earth - El Superclasico where the toffs from River Plate take on the common working men of Boca Juniors. Their next clash is on the 9th June at the Estadio Mario Alberto from E44!!!

WARNING: this game may be a little more exciting than West Ham vs Everton.


Monday 11 May 2015

Bilic: "With the greatest respect to women, football is the most beautiful thing in the world"

He taught me everything that i know...

So said ex-Hammer Slaven Bilic when embarking upon his managerial career with Croatia - an odyssey that lasted 6 years, including two World Cups. Somewhat surprisingly, Bilic is still considered a long shot for the Hammers managerial berth. However, as news emerged that Sam has grown weary of being so underappreciated and is planning to take on a new challenge, the race to find a suitable replacement is hotting up.

As Moyes, Klopp, Benitez and McClaren (????) all seem to be ruling themselves out of copntention, suddenly Bilic is looking like a decent bet. He has been at Turkish side Besiktas for the past two years where the team are on an upwards trajectory and at present they are neck and neck with both Fenerbahce and Galatasaray after 30 games, with ex-Hammer Demba Ba starring up front.

Although Bilic lacks managerial experience in the Premiership, he is well versed in the comings and goings of the Europa league with Besiktas exiting the competition just before the quarter finals after unluckily losing to Club Brugge in March.

In addition, Bilic cut his teeth as an international manager with the CRoatian U21 side - then moving up to the senior squad and bringing a talented generation with him. An ability to engage up and coming youth talent will surely be a key attribute of the Hammers next manager as for many, the real dividend from moving to a bigger stadium is the belief that we will then be able to hold on to our emerging talent rather than feed them on to the likes of Man U and Chelsea.

Bilic's career win percentage is 56% - which compares very favourably with Big Sam's which is just short of 40%. That includes six years at International level. The premiership is a demanding league, but Bilic's record suggests that he would be well suited to it. Moreover, as the above quote demonstrates, his footballing philosophy is well attuned to the West Ham Way.

Ladbrokes are offering odds of 8/1 on Bilic being the next West Ham manager - looks tempting - a bet of £35, if successful, would cover a season ticket at the Olympic Stadium this time next year!

Sunday 10 May 2015

Hammers savour an (almost) impeccable performance!

Yesterday's encounter with Aston Villa was a truly pointless affair. A tired and apparently disinterested West ham side barely justified the label of opponents as they traipsed around Villa park like it was a preseason kick around. And it was!

With European football beckoning in early July, and the likelihood of a managerial overhaul in the interim, few of the players had much to get excited about apart from avoiding injury and, most importantly, making sure that they didnt pick up any cautions. With a single yellow from the game and no injuries, both tasks were achieved....almost impeccably!

You'd have to spare a thought for poor Hull, Sunderland and Newcastle who all needed West ham to put in a decent performance, but thems the vagaries!

On a further positive note, Reece Burke again looked fit for Premiership purpose. It would be nice to get a look at Josh Cullen as well as the kid also looks like he can make the transition from development squad to first team - a journey that has been completed very rarely in recent times as our academy seems to be less productive than the halcyon days of Cole, Lampard, Ferdinand and Carrick, but with such a conservative attitude to youth development through the first team squad, the kids could justifiably claim that they havent been given a fair chance during Sam's reign. We can expect any potential replacements to have youth development high on their priorities when interview time comes around.

Up next are Everton - also stuttering in mid-table obscurity. Tickets for the match are priced at the 'enticing' range of £65-75. That's a shed load of dosh for a dead rubber where we might again fail to get a shot on target! Poor entertainment for the price when, in comparison you can see Swervedriver the night before for £15.

There will be better times ahead - and the discerning consumer might put their cash in the piggy bank to pay for an away trip to Europe in July.

Being free of relegation worries is a good thing - ask the Geordies - but why cant we use the liberation to cut loose and play some carefree footie?

Saturday 9 May 2015

West Villains: Villa Survive off Hammers Leftovers

Today sees the second leg of the Claret and Blue Derby as relegation-hassled Aston Villa host the mid-tabled Hammers and try to improve upon the dull 0-0 affair they dished out at the Boleyn earlier in the season. Dave Hammer offers the verdict on a first XI who have represented both clubs and asks – at the end of the day will they consider themselves primarily Hammers or Villains?

Dave Hammer says:
Mervyn Day
Merve the Swerve was an Essex boy who had the world at his feet after minding the nets for the Hammers triumphant 1975 cup winning side. Then suddenly the crosses started spilling and he had to go…he endured a quiet spell at Villa for two seasons reaching 30 appearances but never quite realised the early potential. Verdict: Hammer
James Collins
Seemed perfectly settled at West Ham until a mysterious transfer to Villa in 2009. Upon returning last Summer he commented that he wasn’t really sure why he left in the first place. Neither were we! Interestingly, he has more appearances notched up for Villa than the Hammers but clearly his heart is with the Bubbles boys. Verdict : Hammer
David Unsworth
Prone to homesickness and the influence of his ‘hard to settle’ wife, Unsworth had a decent season with the Hammers in ’97-98 before moving to Villa for few weeks before decideing to bounce on up the motorway back to Everton! Never actually appeared for Villa and they got their 3 million fee back in the whole crazy saga! Currently coaching Everton U21s. Verdict : Hammer.
Liam Ridgewell
London boy who came through the Hammers youths but was ‘let go’ to Villa where he was part of the team that won the 2002 FA youth cup. A six year career at Villa ensued before stints at Birmingham City and West Brom. Rather embarrassing episode where he was snapped using pound notes when simple three-ply toilet paper should suffice which did little to endear him with cash-strapped footie fans. A journeyman that the Hammers let get away. Verdict: Villain.

Joe Cole
Hammers legend. A good example of why we MUST move to the Olympic Stadium - so that we can keep our top stars instead of passing them on to the likes of Chelsea. Enjoyed a triumphant return but was besieged by injuries untilk Villa opted to pick up the medical bills in the hope that they might get a glimpse of the old Joey. It hasn't happened. Verdict: Villain - just kidding! Hammer.
Alan Curbishley
Back when the Hammers turned out stylish creative midfielders for fun - a Late 70s Hammer who wasa Boleyn Boy at heart and did well to notch up 85 appearances in an era where Brooking, Devonshire etc were competing for places. Later returned as a manager in a disappointing but not unsuccessful spell that ended in acrimony. A single un-noteworthy season at Villa on his way to Charlton where he established a second home. Verdict : Hammer.
Nigel Reo-Coker
Energetic midfielder who had a productive 4 years at the Hammers before being snathched by Martin O’Neill to join his Villa crusade. Clocked up 120 Hammers appearances compared to 102 for Villa. Period at Upton Park was marginally more successful but ended unhappily. Verdict: Hmmm…Villain - just!
Thomas Hitzlsperger
Picked up a crazy half-Brummie acacent during his 4 years at Villa park in the early noughties – classy midfielder with a ‘hammer’ shot. Much loved by the Midlands outfit before returning  to Germany for a 5 year spell. Came to West Ham many years later for a season that was ruined by injury and ultimately managed only 11 appearances for a relegated Hammers side. 'Came out' as a gay footballer to much applause. Verdict: Villain.
Marlon Harewood
Powerful striker – managed almost a goal every third appearance for the Hammers over a four year and 150 match spell in the mid noughties. Less happy time at Villa where he was used as a back up forward and managed only 30 appearances Has drifted since – to places as exotic as Turkey and China! Verdict: Hammer.
Carlton Cole
Travelled striker who has made the Hammers his spiritual home. Had a season on loan at Villa in 04-05 before joining the Hammers in 2006 where he has remained. Not the most prolific but a committed and loyal club servant who even took a pay cut to stay at the Boleyn during our  season ‘out’. Hammers fans have warmed to his robust and sometimes amusingly forthright style. Top man. Verdict: Hammer.
Frank McAvennie
Hammers legend after two wonderful periods at the Boleyn. Formed a much feared partnership with Tony Cottee, which reached a peak during the 1986 season where the Hammers finished third. ‘TC and God’ had highly complementary skills. Had a brief spell at Villa but latter part of his career was punctuated by an increasing fondness for the high life. Another troubled bubble who at one point received a 4 month suspended sentence for affray. Verdict: Hammer.
Final Score
Hammers 8  vs Villains 3

Substitutes: Ray Houghton; David James; John Carew; Nobby Solano; Robbie Keane
Note the direction of flow from West Ham to Villa - apart from Hitzelsperger and Cole, the rest all enhjoyed time at West Ham before making the trip to Villa Park!

So, the Hammers come out on top – just like our match prediction today...Tim Sherwood is 'bigging' his players and Benteke looks back on form but we reckon that the pressure will get to his younger players (like Jack Grealish) and the crafty Hammers will nobble them …Villa 1 -3 West Ham


Friday 8 May 2015

West Ham Star Snaps up Top Music Award!!!

What a season it almost was.... after all the deflationary emotions, Hammers fans can reflect upon what was overall a strong showing during the 2014-5 season during which a host of new stars emerged to add considerable strength and guile to the squad as the curve of upwards progression continued. This is what a realistic observer would prescribe for any side looking to make the transition from a relegation yoyo outfit to regular occupier of the top half of the world's toughest league. For sure, we all want instant success, but that is just not realistic. Compare this squad with the one that was promoted three years ago.....need we say more?
Anyhooooo...At VERYWESTHAM we have been hard at it adjudicating upon our annual Footie-musac awards for 2014-5 and after much deliberation, here are the results of the VWH jury...

First up, the Ian Dury "Reasons to be cheerful award" which goes to the simply splendid Cheik Kouyate for an endless series of top class performances that give us confidence that our midfield can compete with just about anybody when needed.

Sticking with the dependable, Goalkeeper Adrian takes the Bill Wither's "Lean on me" prize - just pipping James Collins who slipped off the radar due to a late season injury during which Adrian set a new Premiership record with three consecutive penalty saves to ad to his Cup heroics against Everton where he saved and scored the crucial two final penalties. Sorry Ginge!

More frustratingly, Andy Carroll receives the 'excellent when available'  award designated by Mr Bragg's classic "Between the wars". Who can forget the wondergoal against Swansea.....more please next year.

Continuing with the theme of frustration, Morgan Amalfitano might well moan that he should have been given more starts given his excellent showings in so many matches as a substitute. For him, the Arctic Monkey award with "Why'd you only call me when you're high?".

But back to brilliance, and free kick of the year (Echo's "Over the wall") goes to Aaron Cresswell for his recent strike against Stoke City.

While the frighteningly scary offensive threat award goes to the prolific Diafra Sakho - but again can we have less injuries and more game time next year please!



At the other end of the scale of emotions, Modi Maiga gets the Depeche mode award...Last Summer we made a series of fantastic signings but we should not forget that the efforts of previous years have not been so positive. 

And finally, a few cautionary awards...

Are you listening Aaron Cresswell?


C'mon Jenks!