Monday 31 January 2022

Winter 2022, Winterland 1978...

On a disappointing night for Hammers fans the last word goes to The Right Honourable Johnny Rotten, and yes that is yours truly with him on a recent night out!

There will be better days ahead, for sure!


A Glimpse of what might have been

Far away from the inactivity of the January transfer window, the spirit of the Hammers was on show as Jamaica took on Panama in a crucial must-win North/Central America World Cup qualifier.

It all started so well for the Reggae Boyz as ex-Hammer Ravel Morrison won a penalty in the third minute which current Hammer Michail Antonio calmly slotted for a 1-0 lead.

However, Jamaica conceded a soft goal just before half time and then fell away losing 3-2.

Watching Morrison in action it is clear that he still has a special skill, but as so many admirers have learned, he lacks the focus needed at the highest level. 

Never the less, it was hard not to dream of what might have been if he had kept his head down at West Ham and how he could be linkibg in with Antonio on a more regular basis at the London Stadium. But it simply wasn't to be.

Jamaica have another crunch match on Thursday which leaves Antonio unlikely to be available for the trip to Kidderminster Harriers on Saturday. 

All of which leaves a gap up top for our new striker to make their debut.....wait, we don't have one!

On a brighter note, let's hope Sonny Perkins gets a run out as many of us are keen to see him get a chance to lead the line and Kidderminster seems the perfect opportunity.


Dogged Hammers in Last Minute Swoop for Striking Talent with Bite!


Recent events down in the Chumpionship have served to highlight a new source of footie talent for panic-stricken premiership clubs to tap into during the January desperation transfer window. 

Rex ‘crazy dawg’ Widdlespoon injected a sense of real excitement to an otherwise dull Rothersnore United versus Comatown Athletic League Two match by seizing possession of the match ball and going on a mazey Giggsian run for all of 4 minutes before the Rothersnore keeper managed to dispossess him with an outrageous challenge that went unpunished by the match referee!

Ooo-definite contact, that’s gotta be a penalty
Hammers boss, David Moyes, upon learning of young Rex’s acrobatics,has immediately diverted his scouts in search of similar canine talents. 

With very little genuine human quality on offer in the January transfer window, the astute gaffer has decided to cut his losses. Early indications are that the Hammers may have hit the jackpot as some former Upton Park favourites are unexpectedly out of contract and readily available should Moysie decide to swoop!!!

I'm with fatso!
 Many short memoried Hammers fans were excited for Frank Lampard Junior with his appointment as new Evertomb boss, and will surely be even more excited to hear that the other (much less arthritic) footballing talent of the Lampard family is readily available and said to be straining on the leash for a bash at Premiership football.

Deadly strikers

In even better news, the Zamora family name may also soon be back where it rightfully belongs on the Hammers team sheet as young Zeus Zamora (or ‘ZeeZee’ as he is likely to be called by Hammer’s fans) is also available on a free transfer and would be likely to accept a minimal remuneration package comprised of dog nuts and a promise to allow him to hold on to his match balls.

Ecstatic fans have commented how these signings can re-ignite the longstanding Hammers tradition of promoting canine talent through its much admired kennel-like academy system. Previous graduates include the tenacious midfield stopper Martin ‘Mad Dog’ Allen who is well remembered for adding much needed bite to the Hammers midfield in the early 1990s!

The Bard of Barking is expected to return to the Boleyn

Moreover, the signings would be likely to bring back to the Boleyn some disgruntled fans who have drifted away from the club due to a perceived lack of representation of local talent from previous feeder clubs clubs such as Dogenham Rovers and Barking FC.

P.S. Apologies to readers who have once again fallen for our annual January transfer window skit! Hopefully it might bring a smile to some disapointed fans faces. 

At Least we didn't buy another Benni McCarthy!

It's been a complete non-event of a transfer window as West Ham failed to bring in a single new face to shore up their challenge for a top four finish and Europa League campaign.

But it could be worse - in what is always a limited market of left overs and strays, January deals have a habit of backfiring as the desperate and the bewildered part with their cash in the hope of changing their flagging fortunes.

Consider the tragic tale of Benni McCarthy who arrived at West Ham United on transfer deadline day in  2010. The following week he  was injured in his debut for West Ham in a 2–1 defeat to Burnley and was out for two crucial months. 

Things went further downhill from there until he left the club in acrimonious circumstances in  February 2011, having played just 326 minutes of football without a single goal for the club. 

Sometimes you are better to walk away empty handed if all that is on offer is damaged goods. While fans may be frustrated just now, it could be worse!



It's Paulista Time!

It's fair to say that West Ham have fluffed their lines once again in the transfer market. With two hours to go until the 11pm deadline not a single incoming player has been reported.

This represents an amazing failure given the screaming need for back up in the striker and centre back positions! With z top four place still very possible, failing to strengthen aa threadbate squad seems remarkably naive.

The club have performed so poorly in the market  that they don't even seem to have a 'Paulista option'!

Back in 2012/3 the Hammers had an underwhelming January window but the fans disappointment was softened by the distraction of the signing of a largely unheard of Brazilian called Wellington Paulista.

On paper, Paulista looked like a decent punt with an impressive scoring rate but in practice the signing looked like a stunt aimed to keep fans happy without any real commitment.

Paulista left after a few months without a single appearance for the club. 

Right now Hammers fans would be happy with even the morcel of hope a Paulista signing would bring. 


Diaz Move Raises Origi To Hammers Hopes

As it emerges that West Ham's bungled attempts to bring in Darwin Nunez have stuttered to a halt, the arrival of Luis Diaz at Anfield surely opens the door even wider for Divock Origi's exit?

Origi may not be quite the massive signing many fans were hoping for but the Belgian striker has shown discipline and commitment durinv a frustrating time at Anfield that warrants thecreward of a fresh start at a club where he can get more game time.

The Hammers sensational humbling of the Reds at the London Stadium earlier this year was a high point of the season so far but it was almost undone as Origi reminded fans of his considerable skills with a late comeback strike that left Moyes' men sweating to the final whistle. 

With pace and power, and a decent goals per minutes-played ratio, he could be an ideal understudy for the overworked Michail Antonio. 

Fingers crossed that we have done our homework and can make a decent last gasp move for Origi.

Lingard Antics Will Hurt Man United in the long run

So after all the huffing and puffing Jesse Lingard has been trapped at Man Utd until his contract expires in the Summer. 

While a move to West Ham could be viewed as giving ammunition to the Red Devils immediate opposition, the decision of the board to also block a move to Newcastle looks mean spirited to say the least.

For any developing talent considering a move to Old Trafford, the Lingard saga will surely dampen enthusiasm for a move and it certainly puts any issue of trust in serious question. 

All of which will likely come home to roost in the Summer when Man Utd come looking for Declan Rice again. The Hammers will surely give them the cold shoulder while the player himself will have seen what loyalty means around the Manchester club. 

Why on earth would a developing talent give up captaincy and a major say in how the club develops for the ruthless commodification that Man Utd have shown?

What goes around comes around as they say!

It's like a Hitchcock movie out there!

As we enter the closing hours of the transfer window its becoming a stampede as clubs with cash look to bolster their season's prospects.

But one club are hogging the space and making it difficult for the likes of West Ham to do business. In short, everywhere you turn their are bloody magpies, magpies and more bloody magpies!

With their new found wealth and a precarious Premiership position, Newcastle are trying to buy everything and anything of value in the shop window.

It looks like they have already beaten the Hammers to signing Hugo Etikite from Reims, and with Man Utd not wanting to assist the club they are battling with for the fourth Champion's League berth, it seems inevitable that Jesse Lingard will travel North by the evenings conclusion.

The latest supercomputer predictions suggest that as we stand the Hammers will be bounced out to a final placing at 7th in the Premiership. However, all that would change with a quality striker and centre back coming in. 

Let's hope Messrs Gold and Sully can out manoevre the avaricious Magpies and bring in some real quality. 

Ongoing Jesse Lingard saga

Egan to the rescue?

The loss of Angelo Ogbonna with a season-ending injury before Christmas has had a dramatic effect on West Ham's chances of a champions league finish. 

With Issa Diop fluffing his big chance, West ham have won just 4 games since losing Oggy as a previously rock solid defence has leaked goals at crucial times and dropped 10 or so points along the way. 

In reality, Ogbonna at 33 years old is close to the end of a fine career and Moyes really needs to look for a long term replacement to partner Kurt Zouma in defence.

The departure of young CB Frederick Alves on a permanent deal hopefully signals the start of a series of moves that will see a top quality CB arrive at the London Stadium.

With the deal for Croatian Caleta-Car still uncertain, new rumours have emerged that Moyes and Co are looking to their old friends at Sheffield Utd for help, with an interest in ROI international John Egan. 

Egan has continued to improve as the Blades try to get back to the top flight and has taken on the role of club captain. He is tenacious, strong in the air and very much a committed team player of the type Moyes prefers.

But is he top table quality?

Today could be the start of answering that question. 

What do you think? Would Egan be an astute signing?


Here we go....

It has been a frustratingly quiet transfer window so far for West Ham with no arrivals of significance as we enter the final 12 hours of business. 

In part, this is because of the new strategy at the club of keeping our cards close to our chest after a series of embarrassing debacles in previous years. 

In addition, David Moyes has made it clear that he has no interest in taking a punt on bargain basement offers, which often bring in players who don't fit in with his strict system.

But whatever about the merits of this approach, the compelling need for a striker and a centre back must surely force the board to splash some cash. With a Champions League place very much a possibility, this is surely the moment to make the move towards the big time. Failure to do so will add to the pressure to keep the likes of Rice, Soucek and Bowen at the club when Summer comes.

Just now, its all talk about the likelihood of Caleta-Car from Olympique Marseille and Darwin Nunez from Benfica. The latter would be a stunning capture as the 22 year old looks a massive prospect with skill, pace, aggression and an impressive strike rate. 

It's going to be an exviting day, so get your seatbelt fastened!