Wednesday 28 August 2013

Big Sam unimpressed by magnetic balls!

As the Hammers swept aside the stable boys from Cheltenham town, with two superb goals by yesterday’s man Ricky Vaz Te and the hero of the moment Ravel Morrison, various gambling types have speculated that special magnets may be used to try and bring together two of footie’s oldest friends in West Ham United FC (Ball number 24) and Millwall FC (possibly ball numero 30 if they can overcome Notts Forest tonight).  In order for that to happen, fans will hope that Millwall ace, Mark Beevers, can resist the attentions of Forest favourite, Simon Cox.

In the aftermath of new Manchester United chief Paranoic David Moyes’ insinuations about a suspiciously harsh early season fixture list for the ‘Devils’, some Hammers fans have speculated regarding a ‘dream’ pairing with our London neighbours. “It would be so handy for travel – we could save lots of cash in travel expenses that would be free to spend on presents for our nearest and dearest  neighbours south of the Thames” said Sid Sillybutton, head of storytelling at East Ham old folks home.

Sadly, the dream pairing with our old enemies up North at Winterfell will not be possible after they stumbled at the lowly first hurdle losing at home to Burton Albion, who are also a football team, apparently. In better news foe the blunt Blades, sources close to the club have announced a new partnership deal with top second division Argentinian League outfit – Deportivo Moron, who have never been able to fathom their lack of popularity amongst English speaking fans. Handily the Argentinian club share not only the Blades propensity for exciting and gritty lower league endeavour, but also wear a gaudy red and white combo as their first team kit.

Meanwhile, back at the Boleyn, it’s all action as the Hammers prepare for a trip to Barcelona in a tempting mid-season friendly versus Espanyol.

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