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| Morrison gets the 'Tomkins treatment' |
Reports in the media this morning have revealed the extent
of the delusion at Craven Cottage as to their status within the echelons of Premiership
football. Apparently, new boss Rene Meulensteen has pencilled in Hammers
wonderkid Ravel ‘Raveldo’ Morrison as one of a number of high profile signings
aimed to save the relegation-threatened West London outfit. Here at
VERYWESTHAM, we can reveal that the Cottagers also would like to gain the
services of Lionel Messi as well as a shock move to bring former Spurs star
Gareth Bale back to London – but to the posh side this time.
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| How Raveldo probably looks in Fulham Fans' dreams |
Julian Thorpington-Barnes, speaking from his trendy little West London
bistro, offered that the ‘trendy’ club should be allowed extra squad members due
to the chronic issues with gout that
have beset the club. “The FA also need to realise that a loose conglomeration
of artisans such as those who perform for Fulham inevitably need time off to
attend art exhibitions and poetry readings”. The occasional artistry of
Berbatov and Duff is simply not enough for the Fulham-faithful.
How Morrison looks in real life
Other sources have claimed that the rumours are merely a
cheap ruse to unsettle the Hammers in order to avoid another humiliating 3-0 whu-pping
like that which finally ended the tenure of previous Fulham boss Martin Jolly. “Why
would Messi join Fulham – their strip is crap – all white and black, it’s a
nightmare to avoid colours running when you wash it? His mum will almost certainly block any move”. Other reports have
emerged that in fact Fulham are seeking the services of Jim Morrison, formerly
of the Doors and who has been out of action with a nasty injury for some time.
Very funny.....maybe you should have wrote this after tomorrow
ReplyDeleteWhy bother, even with a makeshift defence we can continue our tremendous record against Fulham....and if maiga misfires, Carlton "Killer" Cole will be on hand to add to his amazing tally vs Fulham - easily his favourite club. maybe they should sign him instead?
ReplyDeleteThis would have been just a badly written blog full of very lazy jokes, but because West Ham were so awful at the Cottage it also makes the writer look quite stupid. After that inept display on Wednesday I'm not really surprised Morrison wants to leave, even if it's for a team playing as badly as Fulham.
ReplyDeleteI'm not really surprised Morrison wants to leave, even if it's for a team playing as badly as Fulham.
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