|Morrison gets the 'Tomkins treatment'|
Reports in the media this morning have revealed the extent of the delusion at Craven Cottage as to their status within the echelons of Premiership football. Apparently, new boss Rene Meulensteen has pencilled in Hammers wonderkid Ravel ‘Raveldo’ Morrison as one of a number of high profile signings aimed to save the relegation-threatened West London outfit. Here at VERYWESTHAM, we can reveal that the Cottagers also would like to gain the services of Lionel Messi as well as a shock move to bring former Spurs star Gareth Bale back to London – but to the posh side this time.
|How Raveldo probably looks in Fulham Fans' dreams|
Julian Thorpington-Barnes, speaking from his trendy little West London bistro, offered that the ‘trendy’ club should be allowed extra squad members due to the chronic issues with gout that have beset the club. “The FA also need to realise that a loose conglomeration of artisans such as those who perform for Fulham inevitably need time off to attend art exhibitions and poetry readings”. The occasional artistry of Berbatov and Duff is simply not enough for the Fulham-faithful.Other sources have claimed that the rumours are merely a cheap ruse to unsettle the Hammers in order to avoid another humiliating 3-0 whu-pping like that which finally ended the tenure of previous Fulham boss Martin Jolly. “Why would Messi join Fulham – their strip is crap – all white and black, it’s a nightmare to avoid colours running when you wash it? His mum will almost certainly block any move”. Other reports have emerged that in fact Fulham are seeking the services of Jim Morrison, formerly of the Doors and who has been out of action with a nasty injury for some time.
How Morrison looks in real life