As Hammers fans have become increasingly concerned regarding
the continued absence of their main striker, a variety of wild rumours have
been circulating including that he may have undergone a sex change and has
joined the East German ‘ladies’ basketball team or even that he has decided to
turn his back on the limelight and work as a washing machine technician in
Rochdale!
We at Verywestham can confirm that these rumours are definitely
UNTRUE as we have indisputable evidence that he has in fact been moonlighting
as a rockstar! Pictured with rockwannabe media comedian Russell Bland, Andy is
seen waiting backstage before performing in their Supertramp tribute band. While
this will at least bring some clarity to the growing mystery as to what has
been happening with Andy, fans will undoubtedly be further disappointed at the
poor choice of musical expression.
Meanwhile, Big Sam has launched an immediate enquiry to
examine whether other ‘injured’ stars are in fact double jobbing in other
careers. In particular, Ricardo Vaz Te’s ‘broken arm’ seems to be in conflict
with his apparent role as probably the East End’s top Jimi Hendrix impersonator.
They look like a pair of Jesus freaks
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