Friday 25 January 2013

Windy Arse blow Hammers away: Turbine 5 Hammers 1

Wenger urges his players forward as he turns on the device

It was all going perfectly according to plan for the gallant Hammers at the Emirates on Wednesday evening, having survived the initial Gooner gusts of enthusiasm, young Collison popped up with a cracking strike to remind us just how good he can be if injuries allow him a decent run of football.

Then suddenly it all went wrong…Hhhorribly HHHhorendously WRONG!!!....insiders at the Emirates have revealed that after months of hard work, the Gooners technical team finally managed to connect up Arsene Wengers latest bargain import – a giant wind machine!  The crafty curmudgeon was able to turn it on for the start of the second half and with devastating effect as the Hammers had no answer and netminder Jussi Jaaskelainen was left powerless in the face of a gale of goals!

                                                                       Another one flies in!

And then just when the Hammers thought that things couldn't get any worse, young Dan Potts sustained a nasty concussion when he collided with Baccary Sagna's hairpiece. It is thought that the Hammers are likley to lodge a formal complaint with the FA over the outrageous and dangerous hair extension device that the attention-seeking young Gooner insists on wearing despite the obvious health and safety issues.

In better news for the Hammers, Wenger’s new signing means that the Gooners have no need for Momo Diame and now all the Hammers need to do is fight off the advances of Tottenham. Sources have suggested that this should be relatively easy given the endless evidence of the disastrous career choice that is Spurs.


Meanwhile, Hammers have regrouped after the storm and aim to bounce back with their own tsunami against brittle Fulham who have already experienced one sound Hammering this season when they visited Fortress Upton Park.


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