Zarate Hungry for Hammers Return

The football world was again left biting its tongue wondering how to respond to its latest biting incident. Once again, an Ex-West Ham player was at the centre of the gnasher-grief as Mauro Zarate appears to have taken retribution for an alleged punch by taking a chunk out of Jeison Murillo of Inter Milan in the dying moments of Sunday nights game which, incidentally, Fiorentina won 2-1.

 

Oi, wot u doin - this aint Gauchos mate!

While for Italian fans the events will bring back memories of Luis Sewerage's foul attack on Juventus' Giorgio Chiellini in the last world cup, many Hammers fans will be horribly retraumatised by the incident as it will undoubtedly trigger memories of Jermain Defoe's disgusting attack on then-Hammer Javier 'i can probably play better than this' Mascherano back in 2006.

Defoe was subsequently given a life ban from playing for a proper football team, something which forced him to stay at Tottenham for most of the rest of his career.






But even though the Hammers will blame tragic Tottenham for Defoes conversion to cannibalism, there can be no doubting that Oliver Kahn's 1999 carnivornous attack on Borussia Dortmund's Heiko Herrlich occured whilst wearing a Hammers away jersey. Such behaviour is unacceptable - even in the Bundesliga.







BTW that's Neil Ruddock looking on nonchalantly.

All of this could have been snuffed out if only the footballing world hadn't misinterpreted John Hartson's attempted purge of gnasher-related footballing offences when he attempted to kick teammate Eyal Berkovic's teeth out during a training ground routine in 1998. This was almost certainly a (vain) attempt to remove dental problems from the game for once and for all.