Time to Bring Back Carlton Cole

At 37 years young, Patrice Evra is hardly anything other than a stop gap for West Ham in their growing battle against relegation but the big question has to be why David Moyes is bringing in another left back???

The loss of Arthur Masuaku after the foolish spitting incident at Wigan was a blow but he has already served two of his six game ban and will be ready to return probably just as Evra reaches something like match fitness! Evra has been relatively idle since being sacked by Marseille for assaulting a fan!

Perhaps more importantly, although Arthur has been very naughty, he has also been one of the best players for us all season and should be welcomed back - where will that leave old man Evra?

The January transfer window really is no place to go looking for major solutions to squad issues as it is almost invariably a place where clubs squander cash on damaged goods in panic purchases. It's really hard to see what Evra will bring other than a distraction for the increasingly discontent fanbase.

More importantly, rather than a left back we need an attacking midfielder and a striker. With our flanks 'protected by Evra and Zabaleta we surely have the oldest defence in the Premiership?

Just a thought but 'long past it' Carlton Cole is actually 3 years younger than Evra! Similarly, Ex-Hammer and Sideshow-Bob lookalike, Alessandro Diamanti, is also a free agent and a mere 34 years old.

Hmmm. We really seem to be going backwards...

Is Zaza Really THAT good?

We asked the West Ham public to name their favoured striker from our current batch and they have responded in pretty unexpected ways. While Simone Zaza looks likely to be a useful addition to the squad, it's something of a surprise that the vast majority (54%) of Hammers fans rate him as our single best forward - compare that with Andy Carroll in second place at 12% of respondents. And note, this is presuming that all are fit and available to play!

Zaza's strike rate in higher level football is slightly above a goal every third game (58/156 games), which is decent but not likely to produce the 20 goals a season haul that we covet. Perhaps his recent splendid strike against the Hammers during our preseason finale versus Juve has influenced fans?

Andy Carroll is nowhere near as prolific at 68 goals in 258 appearances (which is just above a goal every fourth game), but his fans can point towards his overall contribution to the team in terms of creating chances for others and also as a huge asset at opposition set plays.

Interestingly, Hammers fans have been taken with Ashley Fletcher who, despite his inexperience with only two Premiership appearances, is ranked third with 10 percent of the vote!

Poor Andre Ayew has obviously frustrated fans as, despite his £20 million transfer fee, trails in in fifth at 6% of the vote - 1% less than the out of favour Diafra Sakho. The Ghanaian International has a strike rate that is almost identical to big Andy at 79 goals in 294 top flight appearances.

Otherwise, Jonathan Calleri has yet to grab hearts after a serious of close misses since his recent arrival and only gets 2% of the vote - half of the 4% that the evergreen Carlton Cole has received despite no longer being registered at the club, apparently!

Finally, we may indeed love Dimitri Payet but only 3% of fans think he alone can produce the goals that we need to push towards the top six places in the Premiership.

Why not have your say by voting on our poll before it closes in 3 days time? 

 

Who Should be our starting striker? Have your say in our new poll

As rumours continue to grow that Wilfried Bony may be switching to West ham before the transfer widow closes, Mr Bilic will hopefully soon be left with the unusual problem of deciding who is our best starting striker!

News that Andre Ayew may be back considerably sooner than was expected, along with arrival of Simone Zaza and the excellent recent contributions of Ashley Fletcher, lend themselves to a difficult choice for the canny Croat.

The options are so varied and exciting that some fans feel we should kick for touch and send for the services of Carlton Cole as a compromise candidate!

Or maybe just leave it to Dimitri Payet to bang in the goals and let the strikers get back to the real task of negotiating even bigger salaries!!!

Let us know what you think in our latest fans poll.



 

Striking Legend to Return to West Ham

As July progresses the silly speculation reaches a ridiculous peak as boredom levels reach new highs. At this stage many Hammers fans are gagging for a signing.....any signing....to ease their craving for contentment that our rise as a major club will continue. However, unlike the desperate shoppers who panic buy in the last ten minutes before the shops close, we need to observe caution. There is very little real value out there until the final few days of the transfer window when people settle for what's realistic rather than aspirational.

The Carlos Bacca transfer saga should be viewed as uplifting. Our board refuse to be manipulated and are once again proving that they are canny negotiators. There's still plenty of time to snap up suitable replacements for Valencia and Sakho, neither of whom have actually departed yet and both of whom are more than decent enough to keep at the club if that's how it pans out.

Bacca is 29 and Colombian. The really big clubs would need to create space for him in terms of Non-EU squad places, not to mention his remarkable wage demands. This is a big move for him. He deserves time and space to get it right. We don't want an unhappy and expensive squad member.

As for Gomez and Zaza, did they really look that good in the Euros? Personally, I hope Sakho stays as he potentially has it all if he can get his head sorted.

Nine years ago today we snapped up Freddy Ljungberg from Arsenal....he cost us more than a million a goal. Let that be a reminder that it pays to be patient. As the wise old saying goes......slowly, slowly catchy monkey.

If all else fails we could always re-sign Carlton Cole....seriously, it's only a season or two since that was the most realistic plan B...how things are changing!

Ex Hammer Supplants the Pope

Errrr....wrong ex-Hammer, dude!

It's almost too bizarre to take in......Leicester City are Premiership champions!!! They started the season at 5,000/1 - that's a long shot compared to the 2,000/1 odds quoted against the Pope playing for Celtic!

But as we all know, despite his interest in footy, Pope Francis simply couldn't compare with the celestial skills of ex-Hammer Carlton Cole.

Observers are putting 'the Leicester thing' down to a rupture within the very core of World football. It has been known for years that just as with the Bilderburg group who control world politics, FIFA has been dominated by twelve foot high lizard aliens for decades and now, with Sepp Blatter and his cronies gone, anything is possible in the previously conservative world of football.

Speaking of which, for those who missed out on the Leicester betting fest, Man City are 6/1 against winning the Champion's league outright.

However, despite his latest MOTM performance at the weekend, there are no available odds for Mark Noble getting a late call up for England's Euro squad. None whatsoever.

 

Fletcher Fails Medical due to Bad Feet

As Norman Stanley Fletcher famously remarked when confronted by the Slade prison medics as to his disability "with these bad feet who'd have me".

And so it is as the rumour mill gathers suggesting that West Ham are about to swoop for wantaway Sunderland striker Stephen Kenneth Fletcher, one wonders at the wisdom of taking on board a player who has amassed a mere 12 goals in 76 league and cup games over the last three seasons.

As a comparison, Andy Carroll, hardly the most prolific striker, has scored 17 goals in just 45 games many of which have been as a substitute when returning from injury. Even more illuminating is that his scoring rate (0.15 per game) is less than Carlton Cole's has been for West Ham (0.16) during the same period.

Moreover, its hard to see how Fletcher can add more to the squad than the departing Jelavic or departed Zarate. if we really do harbour Champions league pretentions we surely need to look fmore closely at our up and coming players rather than fading (modest) talents. All of this must be very frustrating for Elliot Lee and Jaanai Gordon who are out on loan at Colchester and Sligo Rovers respectively.

West Villains: Villa Survive off Hammers Leftovers

Today sees the second leg of the Claret and Blue Derby as relegation-hassled Aston Villa host the mid-tabled Hammers and try to improve upon the dull 0-0 affair they dished out at the Boleyn earlier in the season. Dave Hammer offers the verdict on a first XI who have represented both clubs and asks – at the end of the day will they consider themselves primarily Hammers or Villains?

	Dave Hammer says:
	Mervyn Day Merve the Swerve was an Essex boy who had the world at his feet after minding the nets for the Hammers triumphant 1975 cup winning side. Then suddenly the crosses started spilling and he had to go…he endured a quiet spell at Villa for two seasons reaching 30 appearances but never quite realised the early potential. Verdict: Hammer
	James Collins Seemed perfectly settled at West Ham until a mysterious transfer to Villa in 2009. Upon returning last Summer he commented that he wasn’t really sure why he left in the first place. Neither were we! Interestingly, he has more appearances notched up for Villa than the Hammers but clearly his heart is with the Bubbles boys. Verdict : Hammer
	David Unsworth Prone to homesickness and the influence of his ‘hard to settle’ wife, Unsworth had a decent season with the Hammers in ’97-98 before moving to Villa for few weeks before decideing to bounce on up the motorway back to Everton! Never actually appeared for Villa and they got their 3 million fee back in the whole crazy saga! Currently coaching Everton U21s. Verdict : Hammer.
	Liam Ridgewell London boy who came through the Hammers youths but was ‘let go’ to Villa where he was part of the team that won the 2002 FA youth cup. A six year career at Villa ensued before stints at Birmingham City and West Brom. Rather embarrassing episode where he was snapped using pound notes when simple three-ply toilet paper should suffice which did little to endear him with cash-strapped footie fans. A journeyman that the Hammers let get away. Verdict: Villain.
	Joe Cole Hammers legend. A good example of why we MUST move to the Olympic Stadium - so that we can keep our top stars instead of passing them on to the likes of Chelsea. Enjoyed a triumphant return but was besieged by injuries untilk Villa opted to pick up the medical bills in the hope that they might get a glimpse of the old Joey. It hasn't happened. Verdict: Villain - just kidding! Hammer.
	Alan Curbishley Back when the Hammers turned out stylish creative midfielders for fun - a Late 70s Hammer who wasa Boleyn Boy at heart and did well to notch up 85 appearances in an era where Brooking, Devonshire etc were competing for places. Later returned as a manager in a disappointing but not unsuccessful spell that ended in acrimony. A single un-noteworthy season at Villa on his way to Charlton where he established a second home. Verdict : Hammer.
	Nigel Reo-Coker Energetic midfielder who had a productive 4 years at the Hammers before being snathched by Martin O’Neill to join his Villa crusade. Clocked up 120 Hammers appearances compared to 102 for Villa. Period at Upton Park was marginally more successful but ended unhappily. Verdict: Hmmm…Villain - just!
	Thomas Hitzlsperger Picked up a crazy half-Brummie acacent during his 4 years at Villa park in the early noughties – classy midfielder with a ‘hammer’ shot. Much loved by the Midlands outfit before returning  to Germany for a 5 year spell. Came to West Ham many years later for a season that was ruined by injury and ultimately managed only 11 appearances for a relegated Hammers side. 'Came out' as a gay footballer to much applause. Verdict: Villain.
	Marlon Harewood Powerful striker – managed almost a goal every third appearance for the Hammers over a four year and 150 match spell in the mid noughties. Less happy time at Villa where he was used as a back up forward and managed only 30 appearances Has drifted since – to places as exotic as Turkey and China! Verdict: Hammer.
	Carlton Cole Travelled striker who has made the Hammers his spiritual home. Had a season on loan at Villa in 04-05 before joining the Hammers in 2006 where he has remained. Not the most prolific but a committed and loyal club servant who even took a pay cut to stay at the Boleyn during our  season ‘out’. Hammers fans have warmed to his robust and sometimes amusingly forthright style. Top man. Verdict: Hammer.
	Frank McAvennie Hammers legend after two wonderful periods at the Boleyn. Formed a much feared partnership with Tony Cottee, which reached a peak during the 1986 season where the Hammers finished third. ‘TC and God’ had highly complementary skills. Had a brief spell at Villa but latter part of his career was punctuated by an increasing fondness for the high life. Another troubled bubble who at one point received a 4 month suspended sentence for affray. Verdict: Hammer.
Final Score	Hammers 8  vs Villains 3

Substitutes: Ray Houghton; David James; John Carew; Nobby Solano; Robbie Keane

Note the direction of flow from West Ham to Villa - apart from Hitzelsperger and Cole, the rest all enhjoyed time at West Ham before making the trip to Villa Park!

So, the Hammers come out on top – just like our match prediction today...Tim Sherwood is 'bigging' his players and Benteke looks back on form but we reckon that the pressure will get to his younger players (like Jack Grealish) and the crafty Hammers will nobble them …Villa 1 -3 West Ham

 

It's the Wounded versus the Weary as West Ham and Sunderland discover the Harsh Truth about Squad Depth



Each year, the transfer windows provide all sorts of excitement and for clubs with even a modicum of ambition, the inevitable arrival of a handful of potential 'legends'. The top signings prov=oke all sorts of speculation and fantasy, but in reality, these newbies often take time to settle in, especially if they hail from foreign leagues where the pace and physicality is often considerably less than the Premiership. And even as these hopefuls arrive, the more average players get quietly pushed down the squad rankings. The upshot is, that when everyone is fit and available, most sides can put out a first eleven that on its day will have a rattle at beating most of their Premiership competitors.

However, as the season reaches its final third, the clubs with less resources find themselves having to dip deeper and deeper into the squad. As a consequence, the points haul during the run in is often decided more by how good the Matt Jarvis' and Joey O'Brien's perform, rather than whether Alex Song or Diafra Sakho hit top gear. At Christmas, Hammers fans were outraged to learn that despite the Hammers fourth-placed position,both Arsenal and LIverpool were still predicted to finish 15 plus points ahead of them in the final table. But let's face it - as we look to Matt and Joey and the like, they can rely on World Cup stars to come in and do a shift.

And so it is for tommorrow's clash wioth Sunderland - both sides are missing half of their preferred starting XIs. For West Ham, our fate may well be decided by the performances of a makeshift centre back pairing and whether Carlton Cole can produce something up front. Sunderland, meanwhile, will probably be forced to do battle without John O’Shea, Sebastian Larsson and Lee Cattermole, with the under a cloud Adam Johnson possibly thrown into action in a desperate bid to produce something incisive up front.

Next Summer, look out for the movement down the squad as well as the marque signings - these squadfillers are the ones we ultimately rely on to get the results when the chips are really down!

COYI!!!