Moyes Gets Cagey With Surprise Change to Starting XI

Kick off is approaching for the East London derby between Spurs and West ham with both sides needing a result to bolster their Champions league aspirations. Although the two sides are neck and neck with 48 points, the supercomputer at fivethirtyeight reckons the Hammers have just a 3% chance of making the top four and predicts what would be a hugely disappointing seventh place finish for David Moyes heroes. 

But, with a Europa League quarter final spot nailed down, the Hammers could still crash into the Champions League through that route. 

Moyes has gone cagey for today's clash by dropping Fornals to the bench in a surprise move that sees Masuaku reurn, presumably in a back 3 formation aimed to cool Kane and Son's jets. Benrahma retains his place and Declan Rice has shrugged off his bruised ankle from Thursday night's game. 

Will the Hammers feel the effect of extra time just a few days ago? History suggests that when Moyes tries to play it tight against the bigger clubs that it backfires.

But then of course Yarmo awaits on the bench and with his current form its hard to rule out another key cobtribution from the brave Ukrainian

Anthony Taylor is ref. Hmmm.

West Ham XI: Fabianski, Johnson, Dawson, Zouma, Cresswell, Masuaku, Rice (c), Soucek, Lanzini, Benrahma, Antonio

Subs: Areola, Diop, Fornals, Vlasic, Fredericks, Král, Perkins, Yarmolenko, Noble

Julien's Faux Pas #15

Or should it be Roberto's Faux Pas? After another torrid day at the London Stadium we are left almost speechless - only art can capture the madness of the current circus antics! Above all else, the sentiment of the day was come back Fabianski.

In our series of Coldwar Steve-style mock ups we give you Julien's Faux Pas number 15...

Traitor-Rator: Who is West Ham's biggest Ever Judas?

After all of the positivity of last season when after a poor start the squad found its mojo and delivered a host of good results playing attractive football, once again we now face falling back to where we started. 

With Marko Arnautovic's departure, the club are struggling to identify a forward who can provide the regular supply of goals that would allow the club to push to the next level and maybe even European football. 

With the Maxi Gomez deal all but dead, its hard to see who might come in. As a much needed distraction, let's focus our fury on Arnie and ask - is he the worst ever Judas to play for the club?

To add a little objectivity, we have rated our top four traitors according to the following characteristics; 
1. How two faced was the departure?
2. How self serving was he in making it happen?
3. How much damage did it do to the club at the time?
4. How unpleasant was he after the 'escape'?
5. Looking back, can there be any forgiveness?

Let's start with that 'Big time Charlie', Paul Ince. A childhood Hammer, Ince was one of the few positives to emerge in the Post-Billy Bonds era and despite decent personal performances was part of the relegated side in 1989 which saw John lyall depart after 15 years at the helm. Ince aws photographed in a Manchester United shirt to save him having to come back from holidays for a new signing photograph for the press, the deal was postponed as he failed the initial medical. However, the tabloids still published the picture and all hell broke out! Ince escaped after a second medical and one game into the 1989-1990 season. The departure was badly managed but Ince has cited that at 21 years old he was naive. In truth, the club was in a mess and had a yoyo period for the following 4 seasons getting relegated and promoted twice and Ince was a wanted player at a selling club. He enjoyed playing the panto villain in matches between Man utd and the Hammers but has not spoken negatively of the club over the years.

1. How two faced was the departure? 2/5

2. How self serving was he in making it happen? 2/5

3. How much damage did it do to the club at the time? 3/5

4. How unpleasant was he after the 'escape'? 2/5

5. Looking back, can there be any forgiveness? 2/5

Total score 11/25.

Next up is Jermain Defoe. Also 21 years old, he was a bright young star of an amazing Hammers squad who somehow managed to get relegated in 2004 with a squad teeming with stars but low on luck! While the Hammers can claim the greatest ever escae from relegation in 2007, 2004 was surely the stupidest relegation from the Premiership? Defoe reacted badly to the relegation and within 24 hours made a written request for a transfer. Distressed fans focused their annoyance on his insensitivity and he was turned down by the club. He stareted the following season at West Ham but refused to sign a new contract and had an obviously poor attitude, picking up three red cards in 22 appearances before the club lost patience and sold him to Spurs. Over the years he has repeatedly  apologised to supporters for mishandling the move due to his young age and often expressed a desire to return to make amends. 

1. How two faced was the departure? 2/5

2. How self serving was he in making it happen? 4/5

3. How much damage did it do to the club at the time? 3/5

4. How unpleasant was he after the 'escape'? 1/5

5. Looking back, can there be any forgiveness? 1/5

Total score 11/25.

Et maintenant, c'est Dimitri Payet. Surely the most naturally gifted Hammer of recent times. Payet arrived in June 2015 and quickly established himself as a fans favourite with a series of impressive performances that woshortlisted him for PFA player of the year while he received the Hammer of the year award. A lucrative new contract arrived then suddenly in January 2017 (aged 29) he refused to play for the club stating that he wanted to return to Olympic Marseille. After much huffing and puffing he left for a modest fee. He later stated that he felt the club lacked ambition and that he was 'bored'.

1. How two faced was the departure? 2/5

2. How self serving was he in making it happen? 5/5

3. How much damage did it do to the club at the time? 4/5

4. How unpleasant was he after the 'escape'? 4/5

5. Looking back, can there be any forgiveness? 4/5

Total score 19/25.

So finally, Mad Marko Arnautovic. We cant say that we weren't warned by Stoke fans after he smahed his way out of their club to join the Hammers. He arrived in Summer 2017 and after a poor start switched to a new central attacking role that proved a piece of David Moyes genius. 11 goals and Hammer of the year award followed. On to this season and he started getting restless before Christmas as rumours of Chinese interest surfaced. After much stealth, using his agent brother Danijel to voice the Mr Hyde half of his persona, he seemed placated by a big new deal. He denied ever wanting to leave but then submiited a transfer request in mid Summer and forced a bargain purchase for Shanghai SPG where he will presumably see out his career being paid huge money in a pointless league. As yet there have been no noises from Marko about his departure but the series of incredibly two-faced statements in his final six months will surely annoy fans for a long time! The difficulty replacing him is currently hurting the club but Manuel Pellegrini has a talent for bringing in top players so we wait in hope!

1. How two faced was the departure? 5/5

2. How self serving was he in making it happen? 5/5

3. How much damage did it do to the club at the time? 3/5

4. How unpleasant was he after the 'escape'? 1/5

5. Looking back, can there be any forgiveness? 5/5

Total score 19/25.

Wow!!! A draw between Marko and Dimi!!! Arnie will be furious as he loves to hog the limelight. It's interesting how our old skool traitors are lightweight compared with the two-faced mercenaries of the modern era! 

Julien's Faux Pas #14: Neighbours...

Oh yes, after the sensational events of the weekend let's celebrate with a JFP to commemorate the occasion of West Ham becoming the first away side to score at Tottenham's new home and, of course, the first to slay the Hotspurs!

How many celebrity Hammers can you identify and one cheeky sod has made a double appearance?

Enjoy!!!

Why not have a little sing along as you savour the scene?

Neighbours,
Everybody needs good neighbours
Just a friendly wave each morning
Helps to make a better day

 

Neighbours,
Need to get to know eachother
Next door is only a footstep away

 

Neighbours,
Everybody needs good neighbours
With a little understanding
You can find the perfect blend

 

Neighbours,
Should be there for one another
That's when good neighbours become good friends

 

COYI!!!

 

That One's for Sir Alf!

Garnett, not Ramsay!

The famous West Ham fan of TV fiction, Alf Garnett is credited with the phrase "Football is a working class ballet". If it is, West Ham were the best dancers today as Michail Antonio scored the only goal as West Ham made their way into the history books as the first side to win at Spurs new ground!

Ironically, Warren Mitchell - the actor who played Garnett was a Spud in real life and must have found it hard to cheer on the Hammers instead of his beloved Spurs but the scriptwriters wanted a club that truly represented the working class and between West Ham and Spurs there could be no competition in that regard.

Antonio's goal was a stunner and fit to grace any game but as Jean-Paul Sartre once commented “In football everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.” In this case, the opposition were fitting recipients of such a work of art.

COYI!!!

Sister Sledge Time for Tragic Spurs

Michail Antonio cemented his place in the history books as he scored the first ever goal against Tottenham Hotspur at their new stadium - and what a goal it was, as West Ham went on to inflict the first ever defeat at their new stadium on their greatest rivals - tragic Spurs.

 

The goal was an outstanding work of art - Marko Arnautović picked up the ball out wide on the right, he shimmied and turned before delivering a delicately weighted pass over Toby Alderweireld onto the chest of Antonio, who gently took it down before smacking a stunner past the helpless Hugo Lloris to give West Ham the lead.

There then followed the latest in Antonio's crazy goal celebrations as he engaged in some bull taming-style antics that he later revealed were a take on one of Dan Rue's dancing moves! If you thought stroking the pitch, doing a Homer Simpson or a cha cha dance were crazy, this one was on another level!!!

The heartbreak for Spurs looks set to continue as the defeat allows their close rivals to gain crucial ground in the fight for a champion's League spot for next year. Given their propensity for choking when under pressure, its stating to look bad for them to hold on to a top 4 spot!

Meanwhile, the Hammers are off to celebrate their latest triumph over their nearest neighbours - this one is up there with the best!!!

COYI!!!





 

Yet More Hammers Heartbreak Ahead for Spurs

On the day that Spurs revealed that their top man Harry Kane will be out for the rest of the season,  fans were reminded of a similar disappointment for the Spuds as ex-Hammer Yossi Benayoun announced his formal retirement from football at age 38.


The 'Diamond' arrived to the Premiership from Racing Santander in 2005 to join the Alain de Pardeux 'revolution' at Upton Park. He went on to play for 72 games in the following two seasons before moving to Anfield. A creative midfield force who liked to hang off the striker, Benayoun delivered 8 goals over the two seasons, appearing in the 3-3 FA cup final of 2006. His final game was the Old Trafford 'Great Escape' of 2007.

However, it was the final game of 2006 that will be best remembered by West Ham fans as he scored the winner in a 2-1 victory over biggest neighbours that prevented Spurs from making a much-coveted 4th place and denied them a Champion's League spot. With Arsenal and Man United breathing down Tottenham's necks for that 4th place spot this year, what are the chances that with Kane out of the picture that West Ham will repeat the 'favour' when they visit the new White Hart Lane in a fortnight?

With a great footballing mind and considerable leadership qualities having been National team captain for Israel for much of his career, Benayoun will surely have a crack at management?

Either way, we wish him the very best of luck in the years ahead.

Arnautovic Escape Part Two: The Truth Emerges

If you are to believe the latest rumours it appears that Marko Arnautovic's move to China is off and that he is now staying at West Ham, possibly. At this stage a high percentage of fans probably want rid of the player as his lack of loyalty is hard to forgive. In that sense, we now realise why so many Stoke fans were glad to see the back of him, talent and all, as he is a disruptive egocentric figure.

But if you pause for a moment and consider things, the move to China has always sounded a bit strange - why now? A player at the height of his powers and at 29 years is a real presence. Many have mocked his brothers statement for raising the issue of his desire for trophies. Perhaps this is the part of the statement that reveals the Austrian's true intentions - to move to one of West Ham's rivals. If so, his campaign is going perfectly according to plan!

Until now West Ham would not have remotely entertained any bid from Tottenham or Chelsea or Manchester United, but at this stage they would probably ditch him for £30 million and use the much needed cash to bring in a replacement.

Perhaps the Arnautovic brothers are not as foolish as we imagine?

Either way, the club will be held to ransom now until the end of (a) the Premiership transfer window, and (b) the Chinese transfer window in February!

Let's hope Pelle can find a way to limit the damage that will inevitably flow from this. Offloading Marko may be the best of a bad lot of possible solutions.

Hmmmm. 

Marco Baby Triangulating His Way To Premiership Rivals

It is increasingly looking like Marko Arnautovic will be leaving West Ham in the January window as his absence from today's squad for the trip to Bournemouth represents a significant escalation of the situation. While for many a move to China right now seems ludicrous, others have highlighted the extent to which he appears to be under the influence of his manager-brother Danijel who is clearly motivated by money rather than competitive success.

But perhaps that is too simplistic an assessment, as a number of top stars have looked China bound but ultimately used the negotiations to move elsewhere. Diego Costa's exit from Chelsea certainly comes to mind. If Arnautovic does make the move to China, it'll be fascinating to look at the fine detail in his contract as, at 29 years old, he might well bounce back to the Premiership after a year or even less. It's hard not to notice that any of Spurs, Man United or Chelsea would almost certainly be delighted to have his services at their disposal.

However, if that is the plan then the Arnautovic brothers should pay careful attention to the Ramires story. The Brazilian was still in his prime at Chelsea and only 28 years old when he made the move to Jiangsu Suning in January 2016 for £25 million. Things started well for him in China until he tried to engineer a move back to Benfica, his old club in Portugal, which Jiangsu blocked and then kicked him into the reserves as punishment! It would be foolish to underestimate the financial power of the big Chinese clubs and their capacity to make a point if they feel that they are being disrespected.

It might also be worth noting for Arnautovic that at the time of leaving, Ramires had won the Champions League, Europa League, Premier League, FA Cup and League Cup during his six years at Chelsea!

Today's display at Bournemouth underlined West Ham's need for a good finisher as both Carroll and Hernandez failed to inspire while Hammers target Callum Wilson scored a stunner and was denied a second goal by the post. This was all after Andy Carroll missed a sitter that Arnie would almost certainly have buried. Sadly, at this stage the campaign has started to go all Payetesque and its hard to see Arnie coming back into the fold as many supporters will understandably feel betrayed by his actions.

Right now you can get 22/1 against him moving to Chelsea, 25/1 Man United and the intriguing 28/1 for a move to replace the injured Harry Kane at Tottenham. A move to any Chinese club is 1/5 on and its worth noting that their transfer window does not close until well into February, by which time West Ham will be well softened up towards a departure! Hmmm.

 

West Ham vs Spurs: Reaction and Player Ratings

After all the positivity of the Man United game, things feel a bit deflated with defeats to Brighton (away) and our arch enemy Spurs at the London Stadium today. In truth, we deserved a lot more from the Brighton game, while we can feel very disappointed not to have got at least a point after a decent performance today that included 4 or more clear cut chances to level things in the second half. 

On a positive note, we are playing reasonably fluid football and, at the back, look pretty assured (ask Harry Kane who was well policed by our CBs today). Young Diangana looks a real piece of work, while Declan Rice continues to confirm our hopes that he can be  the new Billy Bonds. 

However, a defeat to the Spuds is always disappointing. Here are our individual player ratings:

Fabianski: Another assured performance and could do nought about their goal. Perhaps needs to work on distribution as Spurs successfully hampered our passing out from the back. 7/10.

Zabaleta: Solid without anything truly inspiring. Seemed to be building an understanding with Grady Diangana that almost brought a goal.  Pablo continues to justify his starting berth. 7/10.

Cresswell: Mostly solid but along with Anderson might have done better for the Tottenham goal. A more natural defender than Masuaku, their duel over the LB berth will run and run. 7/10.

Diop: Our best player and probably the overall MOTM despite being on the losing side. Put in a series of perfectly timed challenges on Mr Kane and friends. Physically imposing but also pretty nifty around the pitch and made a few decent forays forward. 9/10.

Balbuena: Also looked solid and after a slow start in Preseason has responded excellently to the challenge of the Premiership. The bargain signing of the season at 3.5 million! 8/10.

Rice: We are gettting used to his assured presence in midfield. He seems to have that special ability to know the right thing to do. Very busy protecting the front of the defence today, which he did to great effect. 7/10.

Snodgrass: Has done really well to turn around a Hammers career that looked all but over. Clearly has impressed Pellegrini and had a decent day today in a more central role than he is used to as he was asked to fill the gap caused by Pedro Obiang's late withdrawal. Active but without doing anything outstanding. 7/10.

Noble: Put himself about throughout the 75 minutes he played. Nobes particularly enjoys getting stuck into the Spuds. Sadly, all that effort came up short today. Still a massive presence for us in midfield! 8/10.

Anderson: Felipe had a day to forget. Poor corner taking, repeated loss of possession and light in defence for the lead up to their goal. Will need to regain his form if he wants to competecwith Lanzini for a role in front of the midfield. Ouch! 4/10.

Yarmolenko: Was doing well until his unfortunate injury that looks like a possible Achilles issue. Fingers crossed that it is nothing too serious but his immediate reaction and stretchers exit did not bode well. 6/10. 

Arnautovic: Always a threat and busy busy busy. Things didn't quite click for him today but once again he led the line with pace and power. Forced Lloris into two fine saves in the second half. Looked excited by the opportunity to link in with Diangana. What were Stoke doing playing him out wide? 8/10.

Subs: Antonio looked more lively than in recent times but unspectacular, Chicharito helped pile on more pressure without quite clicking up front while Grady Diangana was a delight to watch with his tricky and pacey play. Was that a penalty when he was tripped in the box - front the Bobby Moore stand it looked very giveable! There's plenty more to come from this young man!!!

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Major Lessons From the Spurs Game: Is Declan Rice the New Bonzo?

Thursday night's Premiership clash with Spurs at Wembley made for pretty compelling viewing - and not necessarily only for positive reasons. Moyes' men were clearly told to park the bus with two layers of defence protecting Adrian's goal and as a consequence Spurs were reduced mostly to long range efforts.



No pressure there mate!

In his post match interview, David Moyes was disappointed that the Hammers didn't come away with all three points but, in reality, giving up 71% possession and 17 shots on goal to a side with Kane and Eriksen in it is a risky strategy that fortunately worked out reasonably well. under Moyes we have managed just 3 shots on target in 4 London derbies - hardly the stuff of a side looking to win games! 
At this stage we have established that Moyes' side can defend well when they opt to park the bus but, equally, when we try to play a more open and expansive game we suddenly seem to morph into a pub team at the back with costly consequences against Bournemouth and Newcastle, not to mention that horror night at Goodison. So what did we learn about our current plight on Thursday night? 

1. Chicharito is not effective as a lone forward. Physicality is not Hernandez's strength and he really struggled to have any impact up front. Worryingly, when Spurs cocked up leaving him with a clear run on goal from 30 metres out he was easily outpaced by both Spurs centre backs. Chicharito is a poacher and needs the ball in and around the box.

2. Our midfield cannot hold onto the ball under pressure. The final haul of 29% possession says it all - throughout the game we found ourselves making hopeful passes forwards - often from the edge of our own box! But for the nimble-footedness of Lanzini and Masuaku, we might never have crossed the half way line! Noble was our best midfielder on the night - even counting Obiang's fabulous strike. Top of our January transfer list must be a midfielder who can hold onto the ball. 

3. Declan Rice can be the new Billy Bonds! Another super performance from the youngster. With all the talk about Reece Oxford, Rice has slipped in there with a mature head on 18 year old shoulders. The kid seems to have it all - pace, close control, strength, good positioning sense....and a natural leader. This kid is the real deal. 

4. Adrian is back on best form. In fairness, neither Lloris nor Adrian had much chance with the two sublime strikes on Thursday night. Otherwise, Adrian was excellent in pulling out a series of great saves. Why are we paying Joe Hart so much per week to sit on the bench?

5. Arthur Masuaku is bloody brilliant!!! Still only 24, he will get better and better. At last we have realised that he is better in a more advanced role with five at the back and he is loving it. One particular cameo on Thursday night was perhaps the best skill we've seen all season as he plonkered two spurs defenders before deftly flicking the ball across the penalty area - OUTRAGEOUS STUFF!

Check it out:



https://www.instagram.com/p/BdiyqPGBSnP/



Our main players can expect a well-earned rest as we travel to Shrewsbury for the FA Cup today. It’ll be fascinating to see how our latest crop of kids perform when they finally get their chance.  






 

Toffees Grab Winstone Read

The current speculation regarding the future of West ham's Kiwi defensive sensation Winston 'Wonderful' Reid has understandably angered many Hammers fans who feel that having made the most exciting collection of signings to date in the Premiership that the media should look elsewhere when creating speculative transfer news. Maybe try Spurs, for example, where the North London side have contributed nothing to the transfer circus apart from letting one of their best players go to rivals Man City.


The rumour is that Ronald Koeman wants a West Ham centre back - initially, it was speculated that James Collins might make the move - albeit with no apparent foundation and very much flying against Collins' own recent comments about his future: "I’d love to finish my career here....It’s been a major part of my life – I met my wife here, so my family are from the area, and I’m a very lucky boy to have been at such a good club for so long. And hopefully it can continue"

Read more at https://www.whufc.com/news/articles/2017/july/16-july/collins-i-want-end-my-career-west-ham#fWpgoUpMlSpVrBq2.99

As such, tabloid interest has now switched to focus upon Winston Reid.

Just exactly why Reid would want to leave London for Liverpool, or switch from a club where he has been the lynchpin around which our continued rise has been driven, makes no sense. With Everton having lost their best player while West Ham have patiently assembled a top class squad, it seems that West Ham rather than Everton are the better bet for a top six invasion next season. Hammers fans will be calmed by the clue as to the veracity of the story highlighted by the suggested fee of £9million. Ahaaaaahaaaaa. Dream on Toffees! Reid is contracted to 2021 and has a £20 million buyout clause - both for good reason!

As the Lukaku-less Toffees try to regroup, perhaps their efforts can indeed be encouraged by a Winstone Read - but they are more likely to get a read of Ray Winstone's compelling biography than a slice of our Kiwi maestro.   

Meanwhile, Winston Reid is preparing himself for the season when his sustained efforts of recent years are rewarded with some silverware!

COYI!!!


 

West Ham Fall Victim to Fake News

All Football fans are the same aren't they - Thuggish lager swilling louts with a penchant for unprovoked violence and crap food.

Err, no apparently! A highly scientific fans' poll has identified the preferred hobbies of followers of each of the Premiership clubs, with some incredible results!

First up, Hammers' fans apparently like nothing better than to curl up beside the fire with a warm cup of Ovaltine and get stuck into some Sudoku!!! Yes - it appears that the party life is not for us. Amazing stuff, that's hard to believe especially when you look at what rival fans are allegedly up to when they aren't irrationally screaming for their preferred footy favourites:

Both Arsenal and Palace fans like a bit of chess - hipster types that they are. For Palace fans, chess is probably more thrilling than watching the typical 4-6-0 formation employed by Allardici.

Man United like their managers just like to go shopping - presumably for overpaid has been players like Schweinsteiger and I-Zlatan.

Bizarrely, Chelsea fans like to spend time with their family (those that haven't been disowned that is) while Man City fans like to jog. Everton fans like to drink - a pastime that will undoubtedly increase when Romelu Lukaku inevitably leaves this Summer!

West Brom fans love a bit of bingo - a nice extension of the boring football by numbers they endure under Tony Pulis!

Stoke fans like to indulge in a bit of gardening, Southampton fans like to play with kites and, picture this, Foxes fans like to draw.

In the unexpectedly 'cool' bracket are Bournemouth fans who like to engage in birdwatching, while Burnley fans like to DJ - presumably in the burgeoning local club scene!

Spuds fans like pool, while there was no preferred hobby for Watford fans, one suspects because the pollsters couldn't find any.

Meanwhile down at the bottom end of the table Sunderland and Middlesboro fans are united in their preference for DIY - undoubtedly both sets of fans often believe they'd be better off playing for the team themselves than leaving up to their underperforming stars.

Ironically, Hull fans like board games. That's board, not bored, although both could readily apply.

Is this just another example of what Humpty Trumpty refers to as Fake News? Or is it time for the match programme to include a new section to appease the Sudoku needs of our fanbase.

COYI!!!