Sunday 28 December 2014

Hammers Prepare for Champions League Showdown with Exhausted Arsenal

Under fire manager at lowly Slumberland FC- Gus Poyet - has slammed the congested Premiership fixture list and spoken out in support of our underpaid and overworked stars who are forced to play a gruelling two games in three days!

Traditional Wear side Crimbo scene

Top experts have revealed that it is not just the impact of having to run around for an hour and a half twice in 72 hours, but also the propensity for cold and muddy conditions poses an unacceptable burden upon the players, with some of the more feisty types having to deal with really hard to shift mud stains on their kits.

Moreover, in contrast to players in the 70s and 80s, today's players have to also manage the cleaning of body armour and gloves- essential elements of today's kit that weren't even invented in the era of Norman Hunter and Tommy Smith!

Top Hammers chillin' ahead of the Arsenal clash

Happily, the current West Ham squad is so strong that crafty Sam Allardyce was able to rest two of his top stars for the Boxing day mudfest versus Chelski, knowing that Diafra Sakho and Alex Song were relishing the opportunity to torment an exhausted and threadbare Arsenal side.

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