Chelsea the losers in ugly contest

Poor Chelsea were left fuming this evening after failing to get the desired result from today's Premiershop frolics.

Fiendishly good between the sticks

Although the pretentious West Londoners came out on top in the warm up match, they came in second best in the big competition of the day as the winners in the Premiership's most ugly side contest were announced.

Can play right back or midfield

The contest is run annually and celebrates the opportunity to insult opposition players when they perform well against your team with the hilarious quip "he's not just a pretty face".

Offensive genius

This year's judge was the top hair designer Michel  Olivier, who unlike his namesake - the referee of today's soccer match - was not afraid of going against the baying hordes of Chelsea fanciers.

The most horrific of all

Despite having the likes of Lurch, Werewolf, Jaws from James Bond and John Terry in their ranks, poor Chelsea were voted second after the interminably unpleasant orc-like horrors at Stoke City.