Friday 6 June 2014

West Ham Hippos revealed as ‘most likely’ name change


Ever since the failed career of ‘squiggle – the artist formerly known as Prince’, astute observers have been wary of foolish name changes. While most footie fans smirk at the ridiculous monikers of American football franchises (with Dolphins, Bears, Buffaloes, etc) the emergence of the Hull City Pussycats has fans looking over their shoulders as they look to futures likely to be characterised by more and more intrusion from foreign investers who simply don’t appreciate that the Southampton Sharks and the Stoke City Porcupines are just nafftastically NOT on.


Down at West Ham United FC all manner of modernisation is taking place as Messers Sully and Gold seek to liven up the brand that has endured since the swinging sixties. The Allardyce factor is undoubtedly an element that will contribute to the choice of beast that West Ham might be linked to – and right now with our sizeable squad with it’s potential for physicality would be best likened to that supersized creature the Hippopotamus, with the West Ham Hippos or the London Olympic Porpoises (LOPS) the most likely animalistic label we prepare ourselves for.

 
This may sound pretty awful for most Hammers fans BUT spare a thought for the Liverpool Leopards, the Swansea Cheetahs,  the Fulham Fishfingers and the Brighton Beavers.
Ahmmm.

16 comments:

  1. You are a total waste of space stop writing these stupid articles

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    Replies
    1. we are being prepared for a takeover after which anything will be possible - name changes, silly kits, erasure of our traditional identity. We need to be vigilant and make our voice heard.

      Delete
    2. Er, technically speaking (you may befamiliar with this notion) the internet is not actually 'space' and therefore cannot be wasted, as you suggest. If you are unable to even get such basic conceptual matters resolved within your cranium then please refrain from offering an opinion as to our magnificent site.
      I hope that this clarifies our position on the matter.
      Good luck for the remainder of your life - you are going to need it!

      Delete
  2. I agree, embarrassingly shite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loosen up mate - it's the silly season and there's nought going on. Why not try a relaxing trip to the seaside?

      Delete
  3. go kill your self

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. any suggestions as to the most efficient method? maybe take out a few pointless fuckers like you as well

      Delete
  4. Silly kits, best away kit for years!

    ReplyDelete
  5. are we to See

    Tottenham Taters or Tottenham Turds

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. More likely to go with a bird name - Tottenham Tits?
      or maybe the Cuckoos as they just steal players from others rather than build their own nest.

      Delete
  6. Please support a different football club, you're an embarrassment

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sooo harsh - do you feel afraid when you look in the mirror? so much anger....

      Delete
  7. Seems like I'm not the only one that thinks this site is a fucking embarrasment

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are just trying to get our attention arent you, pretty boy?

    ReplyDelete

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