Friday, 20 June 2014

Di Canio in for Top Coaching Role At West Ham

An artists impression of how Di Canio might look in his new management role
As the Aesthetic makeover at West ham continues - following the appointments of Teddy Sheringham as attacking coach, and Julian Dicks as Womens' team manager, the latest addition is rumoured to invlove the return of Hammers' legend Paolo Di Canio as Dance coach to the Hammerettes.
 
Paolo demostrates one of the new dance 'moves'

Paolo has been out of work since departing Slumberland AFC early last season and will welcome the chance to get back into coaching. However, some observers have suggested that his previous experiences at Slumberland suggest that he may struggle to cope with the interpersonal tensions that can arise in the highly charged atmosphere of the team dressing room - especuially as he will have to ask permission to enter.

And another - they do this one with mirrors, apparently!
Either way, these developments further demonstrate the Hammers determination to recapture the beautiful game and bring it back to the Boleyn and OS thereafter.


And, of course, the dance move finale

Moreover, early signs are that Big Sam is already exploring bringing more rhythm to his Hammers first team.

Torvill and Dean - eat your hearts out!

ADDENDUM: In breaking news, it has energed that Di Canio, in his own pioneering style, wants to revamp the Hammerettes by addressing the longstanding gender imbalance by bringing in some top former Hammers stars to join the much loved dance troupe! Messers Sullivan and Gold are ready to put out a call for interested and interesting parties - we at VERYWESTHAM welcome suggestions

9 comments:

  1. Aha!
    As long as he's NEVER first team coach. Great player, sh** manager.

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    Replies
    1. We should ban Kevin Nolan's chicken run before it gets in there

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  2. Nice one! Just the tonic after England's exit.

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  3. Why oh why do people bother with such shit articles.

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    1. Err, wots the 'oh why' bit for? Are you trying to add some faux-emotionality to your pathetically concrete offering?
      The answer is that some folk have a sense of humour and like to have a little chuckle from time to time. They can afford the momentary disengagement from the cut and thrust of the serious side of life. Others, it seems, are pushed to the pins of their collars to keep from forgetting to eat or remebering not to poke their own eyes out with a pencil - to those we apologise, and i guess that includes your good self.

      P.S. the alliteration in SuchShit was the one redeeming feature of your outburst

      Delete
  4. lucky sod I would have liked that job

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  5. Please throw yourself off a cliff

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    Replies
    1. Can i hold your hand as i do it?

      Delete

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