|Some Rozzers beating up a guy who has a vague resemblance to Tomka
The case could become the most embarrassing boob since the Jules Rimet World cup trophy went missing three months before the 1966 finals. After the rozzers bungled a ransom pay off, the nation had to rely on 'Pickles' a four year old dog to recover the trophy whilst on his morning walkabout.
|Pickles in action
We can surely expect a host of similar crackpot explanations of the Tomkins case - Peter Windybottom, a longtime Hammers observer was quick to reveal that the word on the street isthat Tomkin's drink was almost definitely "spiked with crystal methambenzadrine", while top psychobabbleologists have claimed that he may have multiple personality disorder and was "temporarily possessed by the tiny mind of a Chelsea fan with the consequent mindless foolishness".
Meanwhile, back in the splendour of Basildon District Court, after much huffing and puffing and harumping, it emerged that the file had been relocated - but not in time for the case to proceed on the day. Instead of striking out the charges and warning Tomkins to BEHAVE in the future (and put some of his endless dosh into the poor box), the case was postponed and will require another day away from the training ground.
All of this is particularly foolish given that every curious football fan in the country has seen footage of the incident that was posted within hours by a passer by who filmed the whole messy business on his phone-camera. Ironically, the distraction has done little to upset the star defender's form as he has been playing excellently since Christmas.
|Robert Z may be planning a reworking of Hurricane
There's also another important lesson here - prevention is better than cure: STOP LOSING TO MAN UNITED!!!