From 'Quenelle' to Demelle': Guy in for goal of the season

Cheeky or what???

West Ham fans have had to be patient for a long time, but ultimately it was worth the wait as Guy Demel's maiden Hammers strike was an absolute stunner and a half! A full two yards out, the swashbuckling Ivorian deftly flicked the awkwardly bouncing ball in a Rooney-esque like half volley into the Liverpool net to send a shocked Upton Park into absolute delirium, with a dash of ecstacy and two sprinkles of mayhem!

And then, finally, the moment that we have all been waiting for. After months of intense speculation, the Demel goal celebration was finally revealed to the eager World Soccer press. In what was obviously a carefully choreographed routine, Guy (pronounced 'Gee') raised a proud arm aloft and turned to the Hammers faithful with a look of cheeky defiance that will remain in the mind's eye of Hammers fan's for years to come.

The Upton Park arena has seen some controversial moments in recent times, but after this we will remember 2013-14 as the year of "The Quenelle followed by the Demelle" as the sorry scenes of Anelka's nonsense in December were almost entirely erased by the triumphant spectacle of 'the Demelle'. Moreover, the celebration will confirm that earlier pictures of Demel doing a Jimi Hendrix-style back flip are almost certainly photoshop fakes.

However, there was less positive news for Paddy Poormakers bookmakers as the intense betting over recent weeks upon the nature of the likely celebration will probably bankrupt the betting group. Astute Hammers fans noted after the disallowed Sunderland goal earlier in the season that in those microseconds between the ball crossing the line and the refree spoilling the moment with his whistle, Guy seemed to move his arms skywards - thus giving fans a precious clue as to the likely content of the full celebration.

An impression of how Downing's celebration might look

Attention will now move to Stewart Downing, who has yet to break his duck for the Hammers. Expert posture analysts ahve teamed up with top psychobabbleologists to create a scoring profile for Downing and have hinted at a probable sideways flip with triple-turn swivel movement as the most likely celebration routine for the flamboyant Hammers winger.