Monday, 7 April 2014

Gerrard allegations place West Ham at centre of intergalactic conspiracy


Allardyce meets his real boss
West Ham fans were shocked to their very foundations yesterday as Liverpool Captain Steven Gerrard accused the normally inoffensive East London club of being at the forefront of an intergalactic conspiracy to prevent Liverpool winning the Premiership title. After a match in which a misfiring Liverpool side were gifted a whopping two penalties - both highly controversial, he was left unhappy with a number of important aspects of the fixture.




Firstly, he fired off a torpedo in the form of the accusation that West Ham had manipulated the climate to ensure that the weather on the day be relatively warm - in a deliberate effort to discommode the Liverpudlians who hail from a naturally cooler and more rain-inclined climate. Even worse, the Hammers had arranged for literally thousands of East enders to amalgamate behind one of the goals and express totally biased support for the London side
 
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The abuse continued thoughout the match, with Hammers players unashamedly trying to stop Liverpool playing their preferred game. At one point, Pablo Armero thrust out a foot to prevent little Luis Suarez from getting past him. And Andy Carroll's "punch"on Liverpool 'keeper Mignolet is a prime example of the sort of violence that discourages mothers from allowing their children to play football for fear of terrible injury. Moreover, he even claimed that some players failed to disconnect their elbows before going on to the pitch, thus leaving the charismatic Liverpool defence at risk of robust physical contact!




However, the veteran aged person perhaps went a little too far in claimimg that he had been forced along with his team-mates to walk a full mile to get to the stadium. Luckily, the grim determinedness of Gerrard and his teammates prevailed as managed to sneak a win despite failing to convince with their ‘boutique’ footie.

Sadly, the conspiracy seems likely to continue unabated as they prepare to face a Man City side who are also likely to have the audacity to try and win the fixture rather than roll over and allow the Reds to take their natural right.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

23 comments:

  1. This is shit... just like your team.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So penetrating, utterly insightful.
      Are you available for work in the media?

      Delete
    2. and yours has been for 20 years.

      Delete
  2. You can keep moaning,we got what we came for.#3points

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    Replies
    1. ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
      overearnest Scousers

      Delete
  3. You only boo when your winning. Boo when your winning. Sad bunch.

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  4. It ia funny though, still we got the win we needed, City is next in line for a fall

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  5. Ha..ha. I like the humour!

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  6. Very funny mate - appears that the famous Liverpool sense of humour also appears to be fictitious. Mind you, with all the time they have on their hands you would have thought that they could come up with something better.... oh well.

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  7. Gerrard's comments are pretty good coming from a team that bites its opponents. A firm pitch eh? How bloody devious is that?

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  8. Gifted penalties??? Maybe u should train your inexperienced defender that football is played with the legs and not hands and also your inexperienced goalie that his hands are meant for catching balls and not legs.

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  9. keep on moaning as we progress.Liverpoo.l all the way up there

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      Delete
  10. Ah. The stench of sour grapes. They were both penalties and West Ham's goal should clearly have been chalked off. It's unfortunate that you've escaped relegation this year. The sooner you fuck off to the Championship the better.

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  11. wow - complete TOSH

    SG Stated - WHU had turned up the heating within the away dressing room
    SG Stated - WHU had not watered the pitch to ensure more of a bounce for when they play LONG BALL FOOTBALL
    SG Stated - WHU didnt let the Liverpool team bus get within 1 miles of the ground

    Get you facts right!

    in all the efforts of WHU (disgrasfull) we still got 3 pts its a shame WHU didnt play like that all season if they had they wouldnt have been in a religation dog fight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess that you've never heard of irony my earnest (and rather foolish) friend.
      Your contribution was also marred by the many incorrect spellings - this is unacceptabubble on such an erudite site.
      Goodbye.

      Delete
  12. The problem is isn't this what you accuse Big Sam of being? An Alien at West Ham because he doesn't fit in to West Ham's idea of football? ??

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  13. Hahaha!!! Sad team, sad manager, sad fans. You have no footballing knowledge whatsoever and your team play anti-football - the new Stoke!!! Can't even begin to correct you on the utter crap you're talking. Jog on back to the lower leagues where the team and supporters belong!

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    Replies
    1. Your violence terrifies me.....you must be very strong.

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  14. I am wondering how many of these comments come from genuine scousers as their fans at the game seem to have a lot more humour, was at least expecting some witty replies instead you sound more like the mancs(spit)

    ReplyDelete

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