Friday 18 April 2014

Hammers to Appeal Arsenal Result

In a far from conventional development, West ham are said to be preparing an appeal against Tuesday night's result at the Emirates when they lost 3-1 to Arsenal. In a move that highlights the increasing pattern for Football clubs to influence the game via a variety of off-field antics, the East London outfit have decided to appeal the result on the grounds that it is simply too boring!

A spokesperson close to the Boleyn revealed "After careful consideration, we have decided that the match result was just all too predictable, with an out of sorts Arsenal rediscovering their scoring instincts after going one behind to a hammers side that made up for any lack of invention with lots of muscle and blah blah blah......".

Meanwhile, a host of groups have rowed in behind the West Ham campaign. Norbert Pedanticpantalons, Acting President of the 'Justice for the soccer victims of Alien Abduction' Association, suggested that foul play may underpin the cliched events of Tuesday night- " Everybody could see what's going on - it was a clear case of match fixing - even worse than the West Ham-Everton 'games' where West Ham inevitably come out the worng side of a close encounter with the bookies cleaning up". 
Like a bat outta hell....
Big Sam Allardyce was unavailable for comment but in either case it is unlikley that he will have much to contribute to the debate as he was not personally present at the game, but rather, sent a chemically modified clone in his place as he is too busy scouting for new players for next season as his work for Premiership season 2013-14 is already complete.

Meanwhile, Arsene Wenger will be pleased that his strikers are scoring late on the evening of a match rather than late the evening before a match, as has recently been reported in some sections of the media who have nothing better to do than stalk second string Premiership players.



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