Tuesday 11 August 2015

Oh No!!! It's Biffa Barton!

A hush has descended upon the Hammers media family as rumours grow of the arrival of the media regulator to Upton Park. With news that Joey 'Basher' Barton is undergoing a medical at the club, Hammers observers are anxiously scrutinising their previous utterances about the 'controversial star' as they recall the twitter trouncing sleeky Gaz Lineker and Alan 'sensible' Shearer endured when they took on Bard Barton back in 2012.

Commenting on MOTD about Barton's sensational efforts to bring UFCinto the Premiership, they dared to suggest that Joey was out of order for his sending off and melee-inducing behaviour during a tussle with Man City. Having been red carded, to the pundits consternation young Barton decided to try and take out a few City players as he left the pitch.

However, the politics of condemnation was soon turned on it's smug head as Barton took to twitter to settle the score with Shearer and 'squeeky clean' Lineker. Barton challenged Gaz to a verbal face off, threatening to reveal all manner of skeletons from the Lineker closet. Sadly (?), the entralled twitter watchers were denied further hilarity as Lineker, despite being referred to as an 'odious toad', thought better of things and retreated into TOTAL silence!

With Joey's apparent arrival, many Hammers folk will be watching their Ps and Qs in the hope that they can avoid a similar bashing from Barton. Poor David Gold may well be wishing that he hadn't bothered with his previous comments about Barton's misdemmeanours!

At VERYWESTHAM we would like to take this opportunity to wish the skilful superstar the very very best of luck and would hasten to add that his previous difficulties have been no more than mere misunderstandings. If anything, Barton could well be the striking sensation that the Hammers need moving forward.

If that won't suffice, we will all have to get Uncle Julian to have a word in his ear!

1 comment:

  1. Maybe he can put a word in with Austin?


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