Hammers Find Solution to Red Card Problem with Freudian Slip

Fortune's always hiding....Indeed. 2-0 up and cruising, one fan captured the mood with a tweet that we should push on for 3-0 and finish the tie as a competition....DOH!!! Thirty minutes later our European 'dream' was in tatters as reduced to ten men by yet another twitchy Your Ropey League referee, we conceded two goals and will travel to Southern Romania needing to win in order to progress!

To add to the misery, Enner Valencia picked up a serious injury and then our manager decided to join his troops in the suspension block by getting himself sent to the stands. Big Sam may have been boring, but there can be no doubting that we lack discipline since his departure, having already picked up three red cards this season. Pretty ironic for the 'fair play' champions!

This morning, Hammers fans woke up to the reality that our European adventure has been seriously derailed, with Bilic indicating that he considers the Arsenal game higher priority than the second leg. As such, the kids really will get an opportunity to show what they are made of as we can expect Payet, Noble, Sakho, Kouyate, Cresswell et al to be rested for what will be a massive task against Astra next week.

In a show of allegiance with the team, the official club website also suffered a malfunction this morning, referring to our new sponsors as 'Betwat'!!! In what is a classic example of Freudian slippage, it's hard not to agree that some of our players are behaving like ill disciplined twits.

At VERYWESTHAM we consulted with our top sports psychobabbleologist, Dr Hansi Von Hoggslicer, who has come up with an ingenious solution to our red card problem. he has designed a special shirt to be worn for the duration of any disciplinary ban by players who receive a red card.