Sunday 5 October 2014

Emergency Services Intervene To Save Hammers Hitman Ahead of QPR Clash

In the week that saw the 'Tomkinsgate' trial finally put to bed, those friendly folk at the other end of the 999 line were again called into line to provide a crucial intervention for a Hammers star. Reports have emerged that West Ham's new record making striker, Diafra Sakho, decided to come over all prodigy-like and managed to set fire to an apartment complex which houses four of the current squad!

Sam Allardyce was recently full of praise for his backroom support staff for their efforts to prevent another newbie - Ecuadorian superstar Enner Valencia from mistakenly eating 'dog food'!, but obviously did not reckon upon his new recruits being unable to manage simple electrical appliances! 

It is not known whether Tomkins was visiting at the time, but if so its likely that he would have hidden in the wardrobe rather than face another encounter with emergency services.

Meanwhile, Sakho et al survived the incident and will look to set the game alight today as they face a selection of retied Hammers currently playing part-time for the Queens and Park Rangers club.

Will Sakho make it five consecutive scoring appearances since his West Ham debut? We are predicting a 4-2 thriller, with a brace for Sakho as the Hammers underline their new attacking style.


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