Adrian: It's done with magnets!

Top stopper Adrian San Miguel once again saved an underperforming Hammers on Saturday. The Spanish spiderman pulled off his third consecutive penalty save, prompting some observers to speculate that he may never be beaten again!

The save sets a new Premiership record and also calls for the popular netminder to receive the Hammer of the year award.

Top sports scientists believe that the Spaniard has secretly developed a magnet system for plastic that when activated, attract the ball towards a particular side of the goal and towards Adrian's waiting gloves!

Adrian himself has attributed his success to mind tricks, which in themselves represent a form of psychological magnetism.

Either way, he's one of the few positives in a team who have lost their mojo and stumbled to a 0-0 snoredraw with the Premierships worst defensive side.

Bring on the Summer and holidays in Spain accompanied by a few bottles of Adrian!

Morrison: I have the "soul of a clown"

With the January transfer window upon us there will inevitably be plenty of media manoeuvring as unhappy players and their agents try to manufacture lucrative transfer activity. Traditionally, this is a period when the desperate bring in new blood, but all too often these signings serve to further destabilise internal club politics and add to the financial mess that comes with relegation and the like.

Sounds familiar!

However, for high flying West ham this season brings a new challenge as instead of the usual impending battle with relegating,  they are sixth in the table and seek some judicious squad pruning along with a few energetic replacements. The increasing focus upon FFP compliance means that high earning players who fall out of favour are a major liability and adds to the stampede that the transfer window brings.

So who will be exiting Upton Park this January?

At the top of the list, bad boy Ravel Morrison and out of favour Mauro Zarate are fighting for front seat on the departure bus.  Zarate has been unlucky in finding himself unable to hold down a regular starting berth due to the sensational form of the team. At a rumoured 50k per week and after a public war of words with Big Sam, it seems mighty unlikely that he will stay.

I never liked the strip anyway

Similarly, Morrison has demonstrated a curious inability to knuckle down despite repeated efforts to accommodate his unique needs at the Boleyn. For sure the Tottenham goal was uplifting and the spectacular ball juggling trickery in training have been impressive, but off field nonsense has added to the sense that he is less friend than foe for the cause. Perhaps the departure of Zarate coupled with Kouyate and possibly Song's absence at the ACoN might allow Morrison to get back on the grid as an attacking midfielder for one last chance?

Elsewhere, Ricky Vaz Te needs to move on as he is well down the list for selection and at a reported 38k per week is simply to costly to not even sit on the bench. He'd be a perfect punt for the likes of Leicester or Burnley.

I want be stone free

And then there's Matt Jarvis. Signed for ten million and at 45k per week he hardly represents good value for money. With the rise of Stewart Downing, availability of the intelligent Amalfitano, and increased contribution of our current full backs to attack, maybe it's time to take the hit and let Jarvis go. Sam's use of him from the bench against West Brom could be seen as a ploy to increase his value ahead of the January rush.

Carlton Cole is part of the furniture and cannot be allowed to leave under any circumstances. This is non-negotiable.

Kevin Nolan stays, principally for his leadership qualities but some time soon Sam will have to move on as he increasingly stands out like a sore thumb in our otherwise fluid midfield.

So, expect at least three of this lot to leave with perhaps two quality signings to boost midfield and attack. Let's leave the last word to Mr Morrison...

Business as Usual as West Ham Sacko Sorry QPR

Five in a row for Diafra Sakho...

After the various teaser games had served to whet the appetite, the big clash of the day finally kicked off a little later than the scheduled 4.15 kick off. However, the Hammers were more than ready and cam flying out of the traps to take a deserved lead after just 5 minutes as poor QPR defender Nedum Onouha was forced to concede an own goal under considerable pressure from the ever lively and physical presence of Diafra Sakho.

The opener was followed by continued West Ham pressure with QPR mustering a single decent chance before the break, while a dominant West Ham patiently controlled the game creating a number of further half chances and went in perhaps a little disappointed to be only a single goal to the good at half time.

QPR boss Harry Redknapp must have said something right during the half time dressing room as QPR came out much more motivated for the start of the second half and were just starting to get on top of things when West ham suckered them with a goal, somewhat against the run of play,  as after some chaotic defending in the QP box, Sakho popped up to head home from a James Tomkins cross.

Two-nil with a half hour to go - could QPR mount a comeback?

No.

They couldn't.

Their only chance of note was a Nico Krancjar free kick that had Adrian diving to his bottom left hand post to push it wide.

Otherwise, West Ham could have extended the lead, and seemed to have been given a present from retuning ex-Hammer Rob Green who generously rolled a ball out to Enner Valencia who duly obliged by stroking it into the QPR net but the referee disallowed the goal because QPR were already losing and he wanted to keep the game alive for the many thousands of viewers. Probably.

This ruined the chances of Hammers starlets Reece Burke and Elliot Lee getting a run out as a 3-0 score line would surely have allowed Sam to empty the bench and give the youngsters some much needed game time.

Next up, another International snoozefest. At least with Hodgson at he helm we wont get many injuries to our lads whilst on England duty!

Burnley away after that...

Emergency Services Intervene To Save Hammers Hitman Ahead of QPR Clash

In the week that saw the 'Tomkinsgate' trial finally put to bed, those friendly folk at the other end of the 999 line were again called into line to provide a crucial intervention for a Hammers star. Reports have emerged that West Ham's new record making striker, Diafra Sakho, decided to come over all prodigy-like and managed to set fire to an apartment complex which houses four of the current squad!

Sam Allardyce was recently full of praise for his backroom support staff for their efforts to prevent another newbie - Ecuadorian superstar Enner Valencia from mistakenly eating 'dog food'!, but obviously did not reckon upon his new recruits being unable to manage simple electrical appliances! 

It is not known whether Tomkins was visiting at the time, but if so its likely that he would have hidden in the wardrobe rather than face another encounter with emergency services.

Meanwhile, Sakho et al survived the incident and will look to set the game alight today as they face a selection of retied Hammers currently playing part-time for the Queens and Park Rangers club.

Will Sakho make it five consecutive scoring appearances since his West Ham debut? We are predicting a 4-2 thriller, with a brace for Sakho as the Hammers underline their new attacking style.



 

Queens Park Hammers: The definitive West Ham and QPR XI

As these two clubs go head to head in today’s crucial 'up and coming wannabes' clash, we are reminded of the many players who have had the privilege of playing for both. Verywestham gives the verdict on how well these players performed during their spells on the East side of London.

	Safe as houses. Had it all – presence as well as shot stopping, and a cool head to boot! We ‘stole’ him from QPR and he then formed a key part of the mid-80s teams, including the formidable boys of ’86. Ridiculous England cap haul at a mere 1!!!. 10/10.
	Was unhappy to leave QPR and found it hard to settle at West ham after angering fans by airing his discontent in public. On field, his performances were disappointing given his record at Loftus road and he departed after a single soulless season. 4/10.
	Came through the west Ham youth system and was soon strutting it in the first team. However, got a bit of a name for ‘socialising’ and found himself out the door to Sunderland. Has never really fulfilled the promise of his time at the Hammers where he excelled and seemed destined to duplicate older bruv’s achievements. He hasn’t. 7/10
	Possibly the best product of the academy over the past 20years. Came crashing through the youth system into the first team and quickly established himself in the side. Nicked by Leeds for a large transfer fee, he rapidly moved on to Man United as one of Ferguson's most astute acquisitions. A fairytale return to the Boleyn was foiled by QPR as well as his perceived loss of pace. 9/10.
	Great hairstyle!!! Actually was a pretty decent  recruit to the doomed side of 2003 but helped in the promotion push that followed before age caught up on him and he retired to the lower leagues. 6/10.
	Always gave 100% and inspired those around him with his determination over a spell that lasted over seven years, 200 appearances, and many as the club captain. 8/10.
	Uncompromising! Added much needed bite to our midfield but undoubtedly at times a loose cannon. My greatest memory is of him getting sent off against a rampant QPR side in 1995 and having to endure a desperate backs to the wall performance that earned a valuable point due to some classic Julian Dicks endeavour as the referee seemed too timid to send off a second Hammer! 6/10
	Fantastic player – skilful and quick, he always brought a sense of excitement to proceedings. Another ‘steal’ from QPR. Had 5 decent seasons but forced to leave as we were relegated in 2003. Scored some cracking goals (with overhead kicks and volleys a specialty!) but also remembered for floating the crossfield pass for ‘that’ goal by Di Canio! 9/10
	Something of a legend at the Hammers – determined to play for his beloved boyhood team he came in 2004 and made a major contribution to our promotion, including a stunning goal in the play off semi final and the winner in the final. Followed that with another excellent season but struggled on and off with injuries thereafter and left suddenly, even mysteriously in 2008. 9/10.
	Stopped in on the Hammers towards the end of his career (1992-4) and played a big part in the promotion season of 92-93 but struggled in the Premiership the following season and was off on his merry way again. Did a shift at pretty much every London club and his time at the Hammers was a useful stint. 7/10.
	Arrived as an intended saviour for the remarkable relegation side of 2003 but couldn’t prevent the doomed side from slipping down a league and left for Leicester who had moved in the other direction with promotion. It was a privilege to have him wear the claret and blue but in reality his contribution to the cause was very modest indeed. 5/10.
	Fantastic manager –artful, creative, humorous, motivating. Left suddenly and under a cloud, as he does. Strangely settled at QPR and stuck it out despite a relegation. 9/10

Substitutes: Paul Goddard, Hogan Ephraim, Kieran Dyer, Neil Ruddock, Rob Green, Danny Gabbidon.