In the latest of our series of Thineself art thon Referee
– an entirely novel take on football policing – we pose a number of
challenges that are of a most delicate nature and that will surely test the decision-making
abilities of even the shrewdest ref…
A1. Errr, how foxy? Maybe let things roll and see how it
proceeds…
A2. That’s awful! If he is wearing boxer shorts a mere yellow
should suffice, but Y-fronts (or less!) warrant a full red.
A3. You need to establish that you are the biggest bully on
this playground. Squirt the disappearing foam into the toughest-looking player’s
face and then stamp on his toes, REALLY HARD…TWICE!! They should all get the
message!
A4. He’s off – that's totally disgraceful behaviour on his part. Also, it’ll be one less contender for her
affections! She deserves a prolonged talking to before taking down her name and
details into your trusty notebook.
A5. Abandon the game, it’s time for a cold shower for
everybody concerned. Also, a life ban for her is the only appropriate option in
order to emphasise that this is a football field not a bloody top international
fashion catwalk!
A6. WTF!!! Are you Mark Clattenberg or something? Stay away from the babes - they're trouble. Maybe just retire
mate!
aharrrrrrrr!
ReplyDeleteshudda gon to specsavers!
What a waste of time..
ReplyDeleteJeez, sorry to drag you away from Dostoyevsky mate...
Delete