Wednesday 19 February 2014

Ravel Reverse as Harry left with egg on is face!


The whole Ravel Morrison going out on loan to QPR business has been a weird saga that has dragged on and on and thus created a vacuum of rumour and counter-rumour. In all the talk about disputes over agents, exaggerated groin strains and dissatisfaction with his 'miserly' weekly pay packet, nobody has thought to consider what is really ailing the troubled youngster.


Ravel does some charity work at the Hammers retirement home


After careful consideration of all the facts of the matter, it appears that the real problem is that Ravel doesn’t like the Hammers current away strip. The bland white affair really doesn’t match up to the traditional alternative - majestic sky blue with double claret breast hoops - that has become a footie fashion icon over the years. We can only imagine the frustration that any young soccer dandy might experience when, having signed up for East London’s finest, to then be cruelly denied the opportunity to strut their stuff in the sartorially elegant away outfit!


                                                                      Not exactly "Gangsta" is it?
And it is on this very issue that the much-mooted Fulham transfer floundered, as their home strip is undoubtedly among the most banal in world soccer. Now, apparently within hours of making the switch to QPR, comes the realisation that the prison garb that Joey Barton and Co turn out in is utterly disagreeable and, by virtue of it’s horizontal stripes, makes one look more rotund than the effect that a vertically striped equivalent would achieve. Even worse, when he realises that the blue hoops are ‘royal’ rather than ‘navy’ blue, all hell will break loose.
 
For Harry Rednapp, the Morrison affair could provide a chance to show what he could have achieved as England National team manager. His popularity was based mostly upon his perceived ability to ‘communicate’ with the spoilt brats who pose as top soccer stars these days (it certainly wasn’t due to his tactical nous). Having tamed Joey Barton into wearing an Ena Sharples-style hair piece, anything is possible, but his comments about Ravel kick-starting QPR’s season will surely come back to haunt him. Automatic promotion? – they could struggle to make the play offs!

And a word of warning to Morrison; when it kicks off don't expect Harry to be a discrete as Sam et al have been. It looks like we are set to finally hear what those 'attitudinal problems' really are!

20 comments:

  1. i can really see him blending well with barton!

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    1. Our away kit is really crap this year - bring back the sky blue one. its the best kit in football

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    2. barton is past it - like a castrated dog, spirit broken

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  2. Moderately amusing (despite the poor Photoshop work), if a little bitter and twisted. As the saying (nearly) goes, 'Hell hath no fury like a football fan scorned'...

    ;o)

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    1. Actually, the whole affair has become really boring - we are basically babysitting him to see if he can grow up - at which point we will get a modest transfer fee as he moves to Man Utd et al. At our end of the table we need committed soldiers not performing seals!
      I hope he does a good job for QPR - at the very least it cuts down on travel to away games and you do try to play 'proper' footie. Maybe he can be your modern-day Stan Bowles?

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    2. "proper footie"- wot, like BFS?

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    3. QPRs away kit looks like a rugga jersey - bleedin toff wannabes!

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  3. 'Toff wannabees'? The away kit is called the 'Dennis the Menace' kit and has featured in Beano. Hardly toff-like. If we really were toff wannabees we'd have chosen something from Lord Snooty in the Dandy.

    Talking of toff wannabees - we're not the ones with delusions of grandeur who think moving to an over-sized Olympic stadium is a good idea...

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    1. we will fill the Olympic cos we've got a huge catchment area - Essex is endless!!!

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  4. LETS SEE HOW HE GETS ON IN THE CHAMPIONSHP, THATS WHERE YOU WILL BE NEXT SEASON SO HE CAN GIVE YOU SOME INSIDE INFO WHEN YOU GET THERE.

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  5. You monster - that's so cruwel

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  6. So many upset qpr fans on here.. you belong in the championship.. theres nothing wrong with that

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  7. Good riddance to bad rubbish, he'll be at dagenham and redbridge next season. Attitude absolutely stinks, I blame the media for feeding his ego, reality is a few good games dont make u a great player, hard work, commitment and training harder than everyone else will, this twat cant even get out of bed and go training because of a niggling groin problem, ravel get yourself down the sti clinic and get your medicine to clear ur groin problem coz u certainly never got it playing football or training. I like every other west ham fan really had high hopes for ravel but now me like every other whu fan cant wait to see the back of him. Hes the cancer at west ham, drop him off at she qpr scrap heap hes faulty goods

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  8. Happy Hammers you won't be happy when you go down yet again..............And I will laugh bollocks off.

    And you are right you will fill the Olympic Stadium trouble is it won't be Hammers v another football team it be a David Haye boxing rematch...hahahahahaha

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    1. are QPR still playing in that 12K seater they call Lofty Road?

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  9. We hate those bastards in claret and blue we do, we do............ sing up hammers

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    1. Errr? Do i smell the foul stench of Millwall?

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  10. you qeerparkrangers fans running us hammers down but its your club that wanted a west ham player in the first place and you got more ex hammers at your club as well for example rob green bobby Zamora and Hogan emphraim so keep your dirty mouths shut and see who goes down and up at the end of the season COYI

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  11. Looking forward to seeing what Morrison can do on the ball - no complaints about bringing him in. Will be interesting to see if Harry's man-management skills will have more of an impact than Big Sam's.

    Yes, we're still at Loftus Road, though capacity is nearer 19,000. Loftus Road may be small, but it is very atmospheric. But we're building a new stadium about a mile away and Tony Fernandes has stated that he wants to bring that atmosphere into the design of the new ground. We're also building a new training complex, so things are looking good for the future.

    Will be interesting to compare a new purpose-built stadium with how fans view football in the Olympic Stadium - I've heard that fans will be quite a way from the pitch. Couple that with its 80,000 capacity and I wonder how that will affect the atmosphere.

    Personally, I think West Ham fans will miss the Boleyn ground.

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