West Ham’s recent red hot run of form has been closely linked to
the return of their experienced defender James Collins. It is no wonder,
therefore, that Hammers fans have been left sweating by reports that he has
returned home from the training camp in Dubai and said to be in a critical
condition after sustaining second degree burns during a game of beach football.
Elsewhere, concerns have been expressed for the safety of
the resurgent Matt Taylor after it was revealed that Colombian soccer star Juan
Pablo Pino was recently jailed for displaying a tattoo of Jesus whilst visiting
neighbouring Saudi Arabia.
It is thought that along with Jack Collison, as the most Ink-Adorned Hammers, the pair could easily be singled out to be made an example of by the ever so strict UAE authorities.
The Portsmouth tattoo will really attract the ire of the UAE police
The Hammers squad have been warned about excessive displays
of affection during goal celebration trainings and reminded about the British
couple who were jailed in 2010 for one month for ‘kissing’ on the beach in Dubai. In
order to set an example, open shows of emotion have been banned – even amongst
the West Ham suits!
Phwarrrrrrr!!!
Collins, who is nicknamed ‘Ginge’ due to his preference in tasty
biscuit snacks, is especially vulnerable to such problems having previously
sustained similar sunburn injuries during the pre-season trip to Southend on
Sea FC two years ago.
Ouch!!! |
The unlucky Hammers medical team will be cursing their bad
luck as the East End side are lacking in ‘ginger experience’ having had a
dearth of red-haired players over the years. Apart from rubicund Steve
Lomas, only Hayden Foxe and Robbie Slater’s brief periods at the club the only
previous need for high factor sun screen in living memory.
It is thought that along with Jack Collison, as the most Ink-Adorned Hammers, the pair could easily be singled out to be made an example of by the ever so strict UAE authorities.
Phwarrrrrrr!!!
Undoubtedly, the visiting Hammers will be invited to engage
in kick-abouts with local football outfits – an experience they may find
unexpectedly challenging as the UAE players are known for their trickery. The
prime example was that of UAE legend Theyab Awana who scored an audacious back heeled penalty goal
during an international versus the Lebanon in 2011.
Top that if you can - 'Raveldo'
However, Hammers #1 stopper
Adrian has some tricks of his own and will surely be capable of dealing with such tomfoolery having now passed
over five consecutive hours of Premiership action without conceding!
why do they travel to Dubai of all places?
ReplyDeleteDowie???
ReplyDeleteSurely he was a ginger too?
That's all Morrison is - tricks with no results.
ReplyDeletebetter rid of than trying to keep a spoilt brat happy...
Exactly..
Deleteapparently its all about agents - wheres the football any more?
DeleteJohn hartson..another great ginge
ReplyDelete