Saturday 20 September 2014

Liverpool to Lodge Complaint with the Advertising Standards Commission

The British Advertising Standards Commission were put on alert this evening as Liverpool FC were poised to lodge a formal complaint regarding misleading material having been provided to the unsuspecting public ahead of an event in London today. The event was billed as West Ham United (AKA ‘The Hammers’) versus Liverpool (AKA ‘the Reds’) and was scheduled for Upton Park this evening. Such a fixture guarantees a gutsy Hammers effort that ultimately proves fruitless as the mighty Reds take all three points and return to Anfield.

Not so today, however, as West Ham ran out 3-1 victors, with the score line more than deserved. Perhaps even more galling for the Scousers was the fact that instead of being presented with a negative and cautious Allardycian outfit, they encountered a swashbuckling ‘continental’-style Hammers who dominated for long periods by virtue of free-flowing passing footie the likes of which hasn’t been seen at Upton Park for some time! Pool were left reaching for the phone directory to get the number of the advertising standards authority as this was no ‘West ham’ as they know it!

It’s hard to know where to start with the accolades but the Sakho-Valencia strike partnership looks very impressive, with Sakho in particular a real irritant for opposition and his exquisite chip in the seventh minute the latest contender in the ever growing list of Hammers’ goals of the season! Alex Song’s partnership with Cheik Kouyate looks formidable with their speed, passing and physicality proving too much for the Liverpool midfield! It's hard to see how or where Kevin Nolan will fit in when he is fit again, ahem.......

At the back, we looked more like the solid outfit of last year and it was great to see James Collins returning to the fray. Winston Reid's opener caught Liverpool cold, but his all round performance underlined the importance of holing onto perhaps our best player as we get ever-closer to the Olympic Stadium. Mark Noble kept the whole unit ticking over and, in the presence of decent passing midfield partners, looks like the first class player Engerland need to shore up their insipid midfield. Even Adrian got to pull off a few important saves, but perhaps more tellingly. Looked confident and secure during set pieces against a tall Liverpool side.  

But perhaps the man of the match award should go to Stewart Downing – a player who towards the end of his Anfield career was cruelly (and unfairly) dubbed one of the worst players to play for Liverpool – but has been a consistently excellent performer for West Ham and this season has returned to the kind of scintillating form that a few years ago made him one of the most sought-after talents in the English game! Downing has tormented our opponents this season and has a bag-full of assists to prove the point. Even better, he has been pitching in with some canny defensive cover for the evergreen Guy Demel…Today he was simply rampant against his former employers!

Liverpool never really got going and in all honesty bring to mind the wisdom of Blackadder’s Lord Melchitt – “Liverpool without Luis Suarez is like a boy without a willy” In fairness, they simply came up against a red-hot West Ham side. Morgan Amalfitano's goal was simply the cherry for the top of a sweet soccer cake...

Next up the Red devils………simply delicious!!!


  1. nice one matey, thought you played well,we were poor,best of luck for the season.

  2. Well done, you lot, I think today's performance was in spite of Fat Sam, who seemed to do a lot of gesticulating from the touchline, to either hoof it up the pitch, or to protect a one goal lead. Good for you that your team ignored the useless cunt and played some very good football instead.


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