In shock developments, we at VERYWESTHAM can reveal that a detailed survey of small to medium-sized towns near nowhere in Ireland and Britain has found that local ‘Mancs’ are less confident than they have been for almost twenty years ahead of today’s season-defining encounter with the mighty Hammers of East London. Languishing in the bottom half of the table, the Old Traffordians are paying the price for putting all their eggs in the Falcao basket and reportedly have only one available centre back - hardly encouraging against a free-scoring Hammers offence who absolutely savaged Liverpool last week!
Our intrepid reporter, Pax ‘Jeremy Paxman’ Meagher has been out and around some pointless little rural hellholes in Co. Tipperary in Ireland to capture the atmosphere amongst a highly representative cohort of Man United ‘followers’ ahead of the big kick off. “There was hardly a peep out of them” said the reporter “and a few kids offered to sell cut price Man United jersey’s trying to raise money for Arsenal or Chelsea kits and get out before the ship sinks any more”.
Meanwhile, Pat O’Hooligan, Headmaster at Ballygobongos National School issued a plea to Louis Van Gaal Moyes to think of the young lads who face another Monday morning of taunting and bullying if Manchester United lose at home for the third consecutive Premiership match.
Even worse, VERYWESTHAM's prediction expert - Rory 'Nostradamus' Meagher thinks the Hammers are ready to add to their haul of victories at ye Olde Trafford and has indicted a likely 4-2 scoreline!!!