Sunday 2 December 2012

From Headhunters to Bedwetters: Welcome to the new Chelsea

The wheels really came off the all new Rafa Benitez model of Chelsea FC at Upton Park yesterday where the exuberant Hammers simply crushed the inexperienced West Londoners who are struggling to keep the sheets clean. Even worse, although the visitors were keen to get back across London ASAP,  Both Fernando Torres and Juan Mata required prolonged time out in the newly installed tantrum suite at Upton Park before they could face the public.
Once were warriors...

Roman Abramovich, the ultimate interfering boss, has really lost his touch and simply cannot seem to buy a win! His recent interference has already backfired with some Chelsea fans having turned against their new Manager before he has even put a photo of Liverpool’s Champions League winning team on his desk.

                                                                      Astute in the suit

Meanwhile, the fragile goalminder, Petr Cech, is said to be outraged at the violent onslaught he was exposed to by the rampant and physically superior Hammers during yesterdays massacre and has  decided to upgrade to a higher grade of titanium reinforced head jacket.

No doubt this young Chelsea side missed the influence of  ‘Uncle’ John Terry and the hectoring irritant that is Frank Lampard ‘junior’. Bizarrely, it has been suggested that West Ham should take Lampard home to see out his career where it all began at the Boleyn, but frankly Frank, there’s no room at the inn. We’ve already got three wiser men in Nolan, Noble and Diame. A 24 year old Lampard would have been an addition but the clapped out 34 year old version has little to offer beyond a tainted fairytale ending that the Hammers would get to finance at a very high premium.

                                                       Christmas is coming...

1 comment:

Feel free to comment - bad language is strictly forbidden and please refrain from any nasty 'isms'