Marseille Finally Get Their Man at a Knock Down Price

Some bloke gave this to me - said he'd give his right arm to play for Marseille!

 

Olympique Marseille have finally captured their man by signing veteran left back Patrice Evra. The 135 year old was released from the final 18 months of his contract at Juventus and as such his signing will not eat into the rumoured E200 million that Marseille have at their disposal to attract much needed new talent.

Evra may help to tighten their defence but is not the same force any more going forward and as Marseille languish in seventh in Ligue 1, a full 18 points behind leaders Monaco, they will still need offensive recruits if they are to improve on their miserable 24 goals in 21 games which is the main problem that currently hinders their progress.

However, left-sided players who can score and create goals are very scarce indeed and typically cost about £35 million to bring from the bigger leagues such as the Premiership! As they compete with financially endowed rivals such as PSG, Monaco and Nice, Marseille will need to get better at splashing the cash or else remain mid-table for all of eternity.



Meanwhile, West Ham's development squad are preparing to make a major charge for the U23 Premier league where they are currently in 5th with 24 points from 15 games. The recent long-term signing of a talismanic midfielder who can both score and create goals is expected to inspire them to push up the top of the table!





 

More Zaza Nonsense

As West Ham finally see the back of Simone Zaza , there is one clear lesson to be learned from the whole sorry saga - keep to simple contracts if you want top avoid becoming trapped in the farcical situation of paying a player wages but being unable to play them in games.

As Zaza approached the magic 14 appearances it became apparent that his time had run out for fear that further action would trigger the £25million buy out clause. Crazily, the loan contact ultimately meant that he could only play 11 games before Bilic was forced to bench him - a short 'trial' for a player trying to adapt to a new league. Even though in his final three appearances Zaza looked to be finally getting the message, it was too late because of his crazy convoluted contract.

The lesson: keep it simple! However, it has emerged that his new club Valencia also have a complex contract with Zaza's parent club (Juventus) whom they have paid an initial £1.75m loan fee with an obligation to buy him at the end of the season for £15m if he makes over 10 appearances for them and they are not relegated! As they approach the half way mark and with 21 games left to play, Valencia might indeed make the drop as they are currently fourth from bottom of La Liga.

Zaza watched Valencia grab a rare win yesterday against Espanyol which will ease fears of relegation, and so perhaps he has finally found a new home after all? Either way, Hammers fans will wish him well and let's hope his latest contract doesn't perpetuate the nonsense!

Hammers Striker Trapped in a World of Pain

Whatever Happened to Just Playing Footie?

The Simone Zaza farce continues with the Italian striker marooned on West Ham's books until a suitable alternate club can be found. Having almost reached the number of appearances that would trigger a colossal £20 million buyout clause, SuperSlav admitted today that his opportunity at the Hammers has passed. 

It's a sad reflection of how the paper pushers have grown in influence that a striker of definite ability (in fairness - only modest ability from what we have seen) cannot play for the club who pay his wages because of such contractual technicalities! 

As such his only strike whilst at the Hammers will remain a beautifully taken goal in the pre-season friendly for his parent club Juventus - whereby he took a through ball down gently before slotting it away quite delightfully! One wonders how much that strike finally persuaded the Hammers to take him to the London Stadium - albeit on such a complicated and ultimately self-defeating contract. 

Let's hope the lad can get away to pastures new - for the sake of his career as well as morale throughout the rest of the squad. Maybe the contract could be renegotiated as it is of little value to either West Ham or Juventus to have a talent going to waste - if all else fails maybe the pen pushers will recognise that his situation means that Zaza is losing monetary worth at an incredible rate.

Did George Weah Recommend Simone Zaza?

Uncannily similar running off the ball

Deep into the second half of Wednesday night's encounter with Man United there was a moment of fantastic realisation for Hammers fans . With SuperSlav's boys looking for a way back into the game, Italian hit man Simone Zaza was sent on to save the day.

Within moments he managed an amazingly awful effort on goal that actually went out for a throw in! Such was the incredible shitness of the shot that the gathered DergHammers, who had previously been silently harbouring thoughts of a Jim Jones style group suicide, burst into laughter that then progressed to full applause and a round of celebratory bevvies. Comedy at it's football finest!

All of which begs the question - how did we get him? Is Zaza really an Italian international? It isn't only his lack of prowess in front of goal that raises concern, but his general running off the ball and ability to compete is similarly unimpressive.

The last time we witnessed such hilarity was surely the Ali Dia saga. as the story goes, Southampton manager Graeme Souness signed Dia on the strength of a telephone call from somebody purporting to be the then World player of the year George Weah. Dia was spectacularly inept such that he managed to play once for the Saints coming on as a substitute, prancing around cluelessly and then being substituted himself!

However, unlike Zaza, Dia was given his marching order two weeks after his arrival and Southampton definitely did not pay anybody £25 million for his services.

Arsenal next. Hmmmm. We knew this series of fixtures would be tough. Dig in. There will be better timers ahead for sure.

Wham Bam...Thankyou West Ham

Yesterday was not just the official opening of the new Stadium but also DergHammer Supporters Club first experience of the ground and its environs. For sure, it's sad to leave Upton Park but for accessibility and overall experience, the new ground has a lot to offer the international fan. Check out our day:

5.15AM: Up and a quick shower then into the car bound for Shannon airport.
6.25AM: Arrive at Shannon for the 7:05 red eye to Stansted.
8.15AM: Touch down in Stansted. We catch a coffee and jump on one of the many buses heading on a 40 minute journey to Stratford.
9.30AM: Arrive in Stratford. Breakfast and then we head for a look at the stadium. It's been nicely Hammerified with gigantic pics of our heroes and there are loads of good photo opportunities.
10.30AM: We head to the Olympic Aquatic Centre for a nice morning swim to clear the cobwebs and relieve any pre-match tension.
11.30AM: Meet with friends and then do a Jamie (Oliver). Decent nosh and reasonable price too. It's pretty clear that Stratford has embraced the reality that West Ham are here to stay and it seems that fans are welcome everywhere. One suspects that the pubs will become more Hammers-friendly pretty quickly.
12.15PM: We head for the stadium. Great atmosphere and endless positivity. In we go...
12.30PM: Nice opening ceremony with tributes to Bobby and Uncle Trev. Lots of fireworks.
1.00PM: We're off. The view is decent. The atmosphere is good but not quite Boleynesque. Maybe that needs time. We go two down but then Andy C pops up with two great headers and it's even steven.
2.43PM: Payet enters the fray.......YESSSSSSSS! We concede a late goal to an excellent Simone Zaza strike. Poor Reece Oxford had a learning moment!
3.00PM: It's time to leave. The club shop is jammers so we head for Pigbelly's coffee house. There's a chick playing Radiohead songs on an acoustic guitar.
4.15PM: Back to the shop which is very manageable now. Jerseys etc and we are ready to depart.
5.15PM: Bus back to Stansted for the 19:50 flight.....loadsa time to grab some grub in the surprisingly excellent Leons.
10.05PM: Home!....and a celebratory beer.

There can be no doubting that the Olympic Stadium opens up matchday adventures for a much greater circle of fans - including anybody living near an airport that has connections with Stansted.

We had a marvellous day that was made possible by the convenience and accessibility of the new stadium....Thankyou Mr Gold and Mr Sullivan.....but still and all, there's a part of us that misses UP.

 

Mrs Brady Against The Old Lady...

Juve head coach Massimiliano Allegri has named his starting XI for the game.
of Gianluigi Buffon, Dani Alves, Medhi Benatia, Daniele Rugani, Alex Sandro, Mario Lemina, Miralem Pjanic, Kwadwo Asamoah, Roberto Pereyra, Paulo Dybala and Mario Mandzukic.

New signing from Barcelona, Dani Alves will make his first start for Juve, while Allegri also confirmed that Gonzalo Higuain – the club's €90million signing from last season's runners-up Napoli – will make an appearance from the substitutes' bench against Slaven Bilic's men but it is unclear hether on/off Hammers target Simone Zaza will play, although he is named in the 23 man match squad. Paul Pogba is left out while he continues his negotiations with Manchester United.

The likely West Ham side is less clear, with the returning Collins, Ogbonna and Payet not yet match fit, Hammers fans will be hoping to get a glimpse of their Euro 2016 stars in action. Either way, its DergHammers SC first official visit to the new Stadium.

Fans Seek Clarity on Olympic Stadium Opener

Calls are being made for West Ham to clarify their plans for the first game at the Olympic Stadium. Many fans purchased tickets for the clash with Juventus on August 7^th in the belief that they would witness history being made with the first game at the Olympic Stadium.

However, the Hammers involvement in the Europa cup has apparently scuppered those plans as the Hammers' first fixture at their new Stratford home could well now be a third qualifying round clash against either Shakhtyor Soligorsk of Belarus or Slovenian side Domzale. 

This fixture is also shrouded in uncertainty as the home leg is scheduled for July 28 but the club have made requested Uefa to switch the order of the tie so that they might play the second leg at home thus ensuring that the Olympic Stadium is ready. Apparently preliminary discussion indicate that both Shakhtyor and Domzale are agreable in principle to such a switch, but the final decision must be approved by UEFA.

A club statement to guide fans would surely be in order as many will really want to be present for the Olympic stadium opener?

The first Premier League fixture at the stadium will be against Bournemouth on Sunday, August 21.

Zaza Rumours Grow...

With recent events highlighting the need for considerable depth in terms of attacking options, Italian press are suggesting that Juventus benchwarmer Simone Zaza may be heading to London to either West Ham or Crystal Palace in search of first team action. Previously the subject of much discussion as a possible Summer recruit to the Boleyn, Zaza has found few opportunities for action at Juventus this season with only 3 Serie A starts - activity that has seen him struggle to add to his seven Italian international caps.

The Hammers injury ravaged forward line will certainly provide hope for the star that he will be given opportunities as Carroll, Valencia, Zarate and Sakho are all injury-prone, while recent action suggests that Nikica Jelavic may not be the solution West ham need.

Zaza will be looking for opportunities to rediscover the Serie A scoring record with Sassuolo where he netted twenty times in the previous two seasons. With an aggressive style that includes substantial aerial prowess, he could fit into Bilic's set up quite easily. The Mohawk-prone forward could provide perfect back up for Diafra Sakho - both in playing style and punky optics!

With the January transfer window soon to be upon us, Zaza might well choose to sample London life for a few months on loan and Bilic has revealed that the club does not plan to make major long-term signings until next Summer. Given our experiences of January purchases, caution would seem prudent.

i miei amici , vedremo!












Scoreboard Inferno at the Etihad Stadium!

Greater Manchester fire brigade services are on red alert this evening for the Premiership clash between high flying  sharpshooters Manchester City (first) and West Ham (fifth). Having each netted on eleven occasions during their five games to date, there is a definite risk that the overworked scoreboard could go on fire! While both sides have demonstrated the capacity to score goals aplenty, the difference has been West Ham's concession of six goals compared with City whose goal is yet to be breached in the Premiership.

However, West Ham have kept both Arsenal and Liverpool goalless during their away trips this season. Moreover, Juventus showed just how to topple City at the Etihad scoring twice late on to take victory in their midweek Champions league tussle. captain Vincent Kompany picked up an injury during the match and is expected to sit out today's tie, adding to the belief that the Hammers can pose a veritale threat up front against a city side who have looked unstoppable so far this season.  

There has been much speculation as to how West Ham will line out - with the more defensively adept Pedro Obiang expected to start ahead of Manuel Lanzini. James Tomkins will slot in seamlessly in replacement for the hamstrung Ogbonna, with Karl Jenkinson returning to a starting position at right back. Darren Randolph has performed with great distinction during Adrian's suspension, and many believe has a shout at retaining the starting berth even though Adrian is available again, but we expect the Spaniard to start. Either way, the Hammers team selection will say much about what Slaven Bilic considers to be his best starting XI from the palyers available at present.

As always, Man City's bench is strong, but Monday night demonstrated how much strength in depth the Hammers now have with a substitutes bench dripping with gamechanging talent - with Andy Carroll providing an option that looks very enticing given Kompany's absence. Less reassuring for the Hammers faithful is the news that Sergio Aguero has recovered from injury and is likely to start. However, behind all the interest in the performances of Payet et al up front, Winston Reid has been a defensive rock so far this season and wil be relishing the encounter with the Premiership's most prolific striker.

As contrarians, we predict a dour goalless draw, with Bilic demonstrating his ability to frustrate top class opposition.

 

Zaza Joins the Barmy Army!

This is how you do it properly

Hammers fans will be nervously checking in on news today in the hope that Italian international Simone Zaza will take up their offer of a season's long loan adventure in the Premiership. A deal has been agreed between the clubs and right now its up to the player to commit.

With first team football at Juventus unlikely as Zaza is ranked #4 striker on their books, Zaza will be looking for opportunities to continue his impressive Serie A scoring record with Sassuolo. The Hammers injury ravaged forward line will certainly provide hope for the star that he will be given opportunities as Carroll, Valencia, Zarate and now Sakho are all injured at present.

However, perhaps the flamboyant forward will be swung by the availability of top mohawk designers in punk rock's capital city. Recent follicular forays into territory made famous by the likes of Wattie Buchan from the Exploited suggest that the lad has a bit of attitude.

Let's hope that he signs and soon as with rumours that Diafra Sakho is again in trouble with the law, West Ham need to find back up asap.

Ex-Hammers Go To War!

It was a truly bizarre scene when two top Argentinians arrived seemingly out of nowhere to Upton Park in 2006. The benused faces of the two lads are only matched by Alain DePardieu's perfectly puzzled expression. If things had gotten strange, even greater weirdness awaited as Mascherano was ignored as worldbeater hayden Mullins was preferred in the holding midfield role, while Teves huffed and puffed before hitting top gear with ten games to go in what was truly the greatest relegation escape of all time! Yes, even greater than Leicester this season or Crystal Pulis the year before.

Then there was the Tevezgate affair as tragic Sheffield United (remember them?) managed to squeeze £26 million compo from the Hammers over incorrect paperwork but could not reverse the slide into third tier oblivion.

Anyhoo - tonight sees our two heroes reunited as Tevez's Juve take on Masch's mighty Barca in the Champion's League final. We are rooting for the Apache to swing it for Juventus before returning home to his beloved West Ham for next season's Boleyn finale.