Sunday 12 June 2016

Hammers Take Early Lead in Euro Ratings

My oh my! second minute of injury time. Russia only had one offensive asset - a 6ft 5 inch beanpole forward and England decided to let him go one on one with all 5ft 8 of Danny Rose on the edge of the 6 yard box. 91 minutes of excellent work undone. Tzzzz.

Better news elsewhere though, as the long tradition of English music being adopted by Johnny Foreigner continued with French fans borrowing our Dimitri Payet song. This is a good thing because although the French excel at wine making, cooking and petty strikes, they are pretty embarrassing musically. Even in the punk era, where attitude trumped musical complexity, they could only serve up the suspiciously inauthentic Plastic Bertrand with his hit 'Ca Plane Pour Moi' - later covered by Captain Sensible of the Damned.

Even worse, Bertrand turned out to be Belgian!

The Payet chant is so infectious that his teammates murmur it under their breaths during matches - check out Cheik Kouyate at the Annual Awards ceremony or Adrian in just about any interview he has done in the last 6 months.

Even the World Chess Champion Magnus Carlsen found himself singing it after his visit to Friday night's Euro Opener - and he's Norwegian!

It seems West Ham are already certain to bag best song of the tournament. Mr Payet could well go on to achieve best player, but the defence behind him will need to sharpen up if he is to make it to the later stages of the tournament. Elsewhere, Darren Randolph will need to put in one hell of a showing if the Republic of Ireland are to progress from the group of death with Belgium, Italy and Sweden as opponents....OUCH!!!

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