Monday, 30 March 2015

Allardyce Reveals Plan to Capture European Spot

Ooooogh! Careful Kevvy Wevvy...
With the startling news that West Ham's dream of European football at Upton Park next season still alive, pressure is mounting for a plan of action to maximise their chances. With the back door entry of the Fair Play league firmly open, Sam's men need to be vigilant in order to stay top of the standings when the ratings are completed on April 30th.

Key to success will be the capacity of the team to engage in positive attacking football (AKA 'The West Ham Way'), be respectful of match officials (no matter how stoopid / blind / biased / guilty of being a merchant banker  etc etc), and avoid yellow and red cards. A source close to Upton Park revealed that Sam is using old video footage of Hammers legends to help the current squad adjust to the required style.


With Premiership safety assured, the team can fully indulge these needs and have been practising a new 'fair-play-friendly' style that may lead to some embarrassing defeats, but that will score highly on the UEFA ratings!

Anything for a European trip....and, even better for fans, the first round of the Europa league is at the beginning of July!

5 comments:

  1. Losing lots of winnable games for a poison chalice: genius. - "ooh I just can't resist ye olde West Ham way; there look; there's my foot; now where'S my trusty shot gun? I just can't resist a little pop...don't worry; no need to panic; I've got another foot, y'know....fortunes always hidin'....

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  2. Losing lots of winnable games for a poison chalice: genius. - "ooh I just can't resist ye olde West Ham way; there look; there's my foot; now where'S my trusty shot gun? I just can't resist a little pop...don't worry; no need to panic; I've got another foot, y'know....fortunes always hidin'....

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  3. It wont happen...The last season at Upton Park cannot be put at risk by a second rate European competition..Fulham tried it and look where that got them!..
    All we want next season is the same as this one mid table with hopefully no long term injuries..Vote ukip ..or whip...Keep westham out of Europe..Our squad isn't big enough.

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  4. Hello daddies. I hope West Ham do good football :-) my nappy will be pooed in celebration! Do you all like me? No one talks to me :-( I feel so lonely I need West Ham friend :-)

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