Hammers End of Season Surprise with EuropeanTrophy

Androgenous Andy

In unexpected news this evening, West Ham saw their season’s trophy haul increased considerably as Andy Carroll seized the Eurovision song contest while cleverly disguised as the Austrian entrant! The trophy will sit perfectly beside the club’s other European honours and is expected to look simply delightful nestled beside the 1965 Cup Winner’s Cup, 1999 Intertoto Cup, and 2013 Ciutat de Barcelona trophy!
  

Andy practises his cross-dressing look

Many fans will be relieved to have finally solved the mystery of what Andy was up to when he was abroad receiving treatment for an alleged ankle injury – sources close to Upton Park have revealed that he was secretly in hiding practising for the important European competition.  THe plantar Fasciitis stories that were used as a cover were recognised by many as too far-fetched to be believed!

Andy was unfortunately unavailable for comment as he is preparing to follow up his success tonight by ruining Man City’s Premiership title dreams tomorrow.