Sunday, 27 July 2014

Andy Carroll goes to the Wire




As Andy Carroll recuperates after undergoing specialist ankle surgery in Baltimore, home to the hit series ‘The Wire’,  local Senator - Clay Davis offered some words of wisdom to Hammers fans who are once again reeling as they try to adjust to the reality that as shooting is about to commence for the new season we are again left without our star player.  


In positive news, fellow Wire favourite, Bubbles, who is named after West Ham’s Upton Park mascot, has confirmed that even though Americans traditionally consider soccerball a relatively minor sport, after the interest around their recent world cup success he has every confidence that Andy will be treated like the international sports celebrity he is.


 
Meanwhile, Danny Gabbidon, who is thought to have played the role of gangsta boss Avon Barksdale in the series, has emphasised the need to bring in reinforcements as soon as possible with a particular emphasis on having adequate cover for the corners and other set pieces that are so integral to the Hammers physically robust Allardycian philosophy as well as running a criminal empire in modern day Urban USA.
 

While street enforcer Chris Partlow is rumoured to favour a swoop for Romelu Lukaku, boss Marlo Stanfield is excited by the imminent arrival of Enner Valencia. However, Proposition Joe has stunned Hammers fans by suggesting that Benni Mccarthy could return!

As some Hammers fans look for some glimmer of hope, Bunk, the long-suffering work partner of Jimmy McNulty offered his thoughts as to why the problems with Andy Carroll are so frustrating for West ham fans.  
 
Lester Freamon, the sage old owl of the series has offered words of wisdom to Hammers fans who are naïve enough to think that the day will come when we have a fully fit and functional squad, suggesting that we consider diversifying interests (Ed: err – does that mean watching the Daggers from time to time? Or maybe a little cricket?)

 
Finally, ss Andy prepares to return to East London, Baltimore’s own Robin Hood, sharpshooter Omar Little had a few philosophical thoughts for Hammers fans and the board:


 
 
 
Dedicated to Robert Chew AKA Prop Joe, RIP Jan 2013.

5 comments:

  1. He needs to step the f*ck up or step the f*ck back!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your articles are slowly improving. Unbelievable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do you do awards and stuff for activity you deem almost good enough for your important attentions?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I want to testify about United blank atm cards which can withdraw money from any atm machines around the world. I was very poor before and have no job. I saw so many testimony about how United hackers send them the atm blank card and use it to collect money in any atm machine and become rich. I email them also and they sent me the blank atm card. I have use it to get 90,000 dollars. withdraw the maximum of 5,000 USD daily. United hackers  is giving out the card just to help the poor. Hack and take money directly from any atm machine vault with the use of atm programmed card which runs in automatic mode.

    Email: unitedblankatmhackcard@gmail.com  

    ReplyDelete
  5. I want to inform everyone that H. A. C. is at again in changing people’s life. I have been searching for job everywhere but all to no avail and everything became worse by the day living from hand to mouth. I couldn’t even afford to pay my bills, which lead to my Landlord sending me away from his home. I went to stay with a friend of mine. One faithful morning i was browsing through the internet with my phone seeking for online jobs where i came across a comment of Hackers advertising a Blank ATM card which can be used to hack any ATM Machine all over the world, i never thought this could be real because most advert on the internet are based on fraud, so i decided to give this a try and look where it will lead me to if it can change my life for good. i contacted this hackers and they told me they are from India and also have branches all over the world in which they use in developing there ATM CARDS, and also experts at ATM repairs, programming and execution which i was taught various tips and tricks about breaking into an ATM Machine with a Blank ATM card.i applied for the Blank ATM card and it was delivered to me within 3 days and i did as i was told to and today my life have change from a street walker to my house, there is no ATM MACHINES this BLANK ATM CARD CANNOT penetrate into it because it have been programmed with various tools and software before it will be send to you. my life have really change and i want to share this to the world, i know this is illegal but also a smart way of living Big without the help of the government. if you also want this BLANK ATM CARD i want you to contact the Hackers email on mrjohnhacker@gmail.com add him on whatsapp line or call +2348054265852 and you life will never remain the same.

    Here are the price list for ATM Cards:

    $2500---------------$155
    $5000---------------$255
    $10,000-------------$500
    $13,000-------------$680
    $15,000-------------$760
    $17,000-------------$880
    $20,000-------------$970
    $25,000-------------$1000
    $30,000-------------$1100
    $35,000-------------$1200
    $40,000-------------$1300
    $45,000-------------$1350
    $50,000-------------$1500

    ReplyDelete

Feel free to comment - bad language is strictly forbidden and please refrain from any nasty 'isms'