Thursday 17 November 2016

Hammers Top of the League....But Who Baked All the Pies?

While the Hammers on-field exploits this season have seen them drift perilously close to the relegation zone, it has emerged that the club are now top of the Premiership table in terms of the cost of the traditional pie on match day!

Hammers Head Honchos, Messers Sullivan and Gold will no doubt be quick to defend the cost of your steak and kidney feast as an important source of much-needed funds to eventually buy a reliable Premiership-standard striker, but our intrepid on-line sleuths at VERYWESTHAM have identified the REAL reason that our match day pies are so expensive.

While there is no guarantee that every pie is lovingly prepared by our popular net minder, Adrian's recent form between the sticks suggests that he may soon have plenty of time to indulge his culinary inclinations as Darren Randolph looks set to usurp Adrian as our first choice keeper. An online poll conducted by the science department at VWH found that two-thirds of fans responding think Randolph should start against Tottenham at the weekend.

The cost of the pies has also likely impacted upon the club's placing in another Premiership League table - the fattest fans ratings. Last conducted in 2010, the Hammers ranked 7th highest in terms of percentage of fans who reported being obese - outweighed by mighty Sunderland, Everton and Man City! No doubt the punitively-high price of pies will have forced Hammers fans to consider foregoing their half-time snack. Interestingly, the table also highlights just how many of the class of 2010 are no longer in the Premiership as nine of those ranked are now departed from the top flight!

For now though, fans can rejoice that our exorbitantly expensive pies ensure that at least in one respect West Ham top the premiership rankings! 


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