Saturday 2 February 2013

Swansea Preview: Big Sam looks to the skies for inspiration

Hitler built a fortress around Europe, but he forgot to put a roof on it.
— Franklin D. Roosevelt

As high-flying Swansea arrive at the Boleyn for today’s crunch Premiership encounter, Big Sam has  announced that he has located the parachute deployment cord and plans to halt the precipitous descent of his nosediving non-performers through footie’s top flight

Oh Shit! That's the Championship immediately below us

Allthedice has spent much of the week seeking inspiration from historical leaders, including FDR - the 32nd President of the US. Big Sam has been pondering how best his troops can breach the miserly Swansea defence who have conceded the least amount of away goals this season of any Premiership club! Although the Welsh outfit are pretty on the ground, he believes that they are vulnerable to aerial strikes and has elected to try and inflict a battle of Britain type aerial encounter upon proceedings. 

I cant hear ya down there darling...
The return to action of Andy Carroll will undoubtedly enhance the Hammers aerial prowess and along with the continued presence of the massive Momo Diame, Hammers plan to rain hell from above upon the unsuspecting Welsh wizards.  Meanwhile, Kevin Nolan’s siblings have hit out at critics who have suggested that his dip in form is central to the Hammer’s woes. Older sister, Linda (the one who allegedly did all the vocals) commented, if people don’t leave our Kevin alone we’ll be forced to release another record.

Oh God, please no more records...

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