Hammers Cheated by Twelve Foot Tall Lizard Master-race

At this time of the season the real action kicks in as the big clubs impose their status upon the league in an effort to maintain the power status quo. Not surprisingly, this is a time when the conspiracy theorists also get busy highlighting how matches are manipulated to serve the needs of the big clubs.

And so 'little' West Ham find themselves embroiled in controversy as for two weeks running they have been denied victories by outlandish refereeing decisions! After the sickening disappointment of last weekend's Loftus-Cheat penalty decision at Stamford bridge, Upton Park provided the venue for the latest manipulation where Midfield dynamo Cheikhou Kouyate was dismissed for 'playing with obvious intent of getting a result' with the additional charge of 'tackling an opponent using physical force'.

All of which raises the important question: how high does the level of conspiracy go? With the current rate of ascension, the only answer for West Ham is the very top and for that we can only look to one place - the infamous Bilderberg Group! Formed in 1954, this elitist group comprises Royalty, senior politicians and leaders of the business world who meet in secret each year to plot the future of our planet. Their secrecy has provoked considerable paranoia with some observers even suggesting that members are part of an elite race descended from reptilian aliens!!!

All of which points to the frightening reality that Clattenburg and Bilderberg  are essentially the same name, apart from their initial syllables. Just saying like...and let's face it, is there a more plausible explanation for MC's decision yesterday???