Ravel Reveals his Real Motivations

 

As Hammers joint-Chairman David Gold seized the opportunity in a radio interview to extoll the virtues of Ravel Morrison, the prodigal son took to twitter to reassure Hammers fans of his commitment to his current 'real' employers as well as to discount rumours that he will only return to an Allardyce-free regime by labelling such talk as nonsense while  emphasising a desire to simply play ball - under any manager!

 

With QPR facing the treacherous workings of the Championship play-offs, no doubt young Morrison will be anxious to get back to the Premiership action for next year and perhaps a spell alongside Joey Barton - a Premiership standard player languishing in the lower league due to his behavioural and attitudinal intricacies, Ravel will hopefully be realising the need to match talent with discipline if he is to reach the heights that many have set for him.

After a hugely successful 15 match loan peroid at QPR, that has included player of the month awards and six goals from midfield, his services will be in high demand as clubs look to build for 2014-15. Thankfully west Ham will have first call on his services asthey look to build a team fit for their soon to be new home at the Olympic Stadium.... Good to hear that he still knows that he is primarily a West Ham player!

 

Party-Pooping Hammers Ready To Wreck Title Hopes ....Again

Manchester (including the Guvnor) weeps in 1995...

History has such a knack of repesting itself...and so it is that it's all set up perfectly for the Hammers to once again ruin all the fun for an over-confident title-chasing side from Manchester.

This time it may be city rather than United, but after a 6-0 thumping in the League Cup semi-final, when  an understrength Hammers defence was mauled by a clinical City attack, the humiliation still sits uncomfortably with Big Sam and the lads.

Happily, the final day of the season clash presents the perfect opportunity to take revenge as Citehhhh will almost certainly need a win at home against the carefree Hammers to capture the title.

With little to play for except pride (and the small matter of revenge) the easy-going East-enders will surely roll over and let the aristrocrats enjoy their big day......... Errr - NO!!!  Even if it means letting Stevie G and the gang take the title, the Hammer's biggest achievements of the past 30 years have been as the party poopers who remind us all not to take anything for granted......

And of course, it could be Big Sam's last game in charge, which would certainly present a big opportunity for his troops to honour his legacy with some deliciously destructive deeds!

Don't Play it Again Sam: Hammers Fans Speak!

 

Sam Allardyce’s fondness for using statistical analysis to inform his footballing strategies may have finally come back to bite him as the results of a MASSIVE online poll indicate that 77% of West Ham fan’s think it is time for managerial change.

 

Over 12,000 fans participated and indicated a desire to abandon the Allardisi way for look for a more open and entertaining style of football - traditionally referred to by football fans as THE WEST HAM WAY.

 

The survey ran from Thursday and closed at 7pm on Sunday 27 April. It is thought to be the largest 'opinion poll' ever undertaken of a club's supporters.

The 16 sites taking part were Blowing Bubbles, Claret & Blues, Claret & Hugh, Ex-Hammers Magazine, Forever West Ham, Hammers in the Heart, Iron Views, KUMB, Moore Than Just a Club, VeryWestHam, West Ham Fan, West Ham Online, West Ham Till I Die, West Ham World, WHU Stuff and WHUFCTV.com.

Of those who voted, 27% are season ticket holders. Also, 28% of those who voted live in London, 26% in the South East, 12% in East Anglia. 14% who voted are overseas supporters.

Of those who voted, almost 5,000 left comments, the most repeated of which were: 

* We should thank Sam for what he has done but he is not the man for the future of the club.

* Nobody wants a witch hunt but it is time for him to go

* Any transition should be gentle and with a clear idea of a suitable replacement

* Sam's style of football is too one-dimensional. There is no plan B and he is adamant that he will not consider changing his style.

 

Another dude who liked his computers was Steve Jobs who is credited with saying; “time is limited, so don’t waste it trapped by the dogma of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise drown out your own inner voice. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition”....Indeed!

One can sense that the fat lady is starting to clear her throat and won’t be singing ‘Play it again Sam’.

 

The conclusions of the poll have been sent to David Sullivan.



The Dude abides: Hammers poll closed - but what did it Reveal?

Yes folks, it's all done and dusted and we wait for thestatistical analysis of the biggest ever poll of footie fans EVER EVER EVER (probably)

Keep your eyes peeled for the first mutterings...It's almost too much to bear, waiting to find out whether fans think Sam should stay or make way for a new era.

Maybe we should start preparing a man-United style ex-palyers management dream team......Dicks, Repka, Boogers, with Di canio as the Giggs-like figurehead?

Momo No Go: Diame Rebuts Speculation in Clearest Possible Terms

Fed up with all the squad-unsettling speculation regarding his future, future Hammers Captain Momo Diame has decided to follow in the tradition of our best poets and ‘show not tell’ by chaining himself to the gates of the Upton park stadium in order to send out the strongest possible message to Tottie Hotspuds, Liverpooh and the Gooners of Middle earth that he is a resolute Hammer (at least until his current contract expires at the end of next season which gives us another season to become the top six club he so covets!).

Still further evidence of Mo’s immovability was provided by Hammers Boss Sam Allardyce who, fed up with all the mouthwatering speculation, has taken to personally shredding all newspaper reports linking Diame with a move outside the Boleyn. Asked if he suffered any indigestion after the act, Big Sam reassured reporters that the papers were a darn sight tastier than most of the pies and burgers that are sold outside Upton Park on matchday.

Got any Ketchup anybody?

Meanwhile, Hammers chief of football, Bobby Fischer, has warned that he believes the Diame speculation may be a dummy run from our deceitful neighbours at No-Heart Lane and have taken the additional precautionary measure of also physically securing Hammers ace centre back Winston ‘Wonderful’ Reid. Hammers other centreback, James Tomkins, is thought to be too behaviourally swashbuckling for our rather tame neighbours.
 

In a further move to counter the crazy speculation that characterises the Summer break, Hammers chief David Gold has issued all squad members with some handy hand cuffs from the Ann Summers range. Hopefully these will keep our players well busy and physically challenged while they are inactive over the coming Summer break .

 

Hey Hammers!!! A Message From Ron Burgundy

Just in case you didn't know, the top social-media outlets relating to West ham United FC have come together to deliver a poll on whether Sam Allardyce should continue as club manager next season. This is a rare and important opportunity to voice your opinion.

If you haven't voted yet, time is running out and you need to cast your vote now! It takes less than a minute and the poll booth doors close tonight at 7PM...

www.surveymonkey.com/s/F6HN5LJ

I'd hate to be that guy who forgot to vote...

 

What Would Bobby Do?

Yes indeedy folks- the turnout in the fans' poll continues to grow and grow as the Hammers faithful voice their opinions on the best option for West Ham as we move to a new season and ever closer to the Olympic Stadium era. This looks likely to be the greatest show of democracy in the club's history.

But how would Bobby have voted were he here today?

If you haven't voted yet, time is running out and you need to cast your vote now!

www.surveymonkey.com/s/F6HN5LJ