The Curious Case of Arbeloa Unfolds

Alvaro Arbeloa arrived at West Ham from Real Madrid with much expectation that he would tighten up a porous defence by bringing his experience to the right back position that has so troubled Slaven Bilic's reign as West Ham manager. However, Arbeloa quickly fell out of favour after a number (three actually) of lukewarm performances and was suddenly out of the frame even despite Sam Byram picking up an injury.

In truth, many Hammers fans were bemused and befuddled by the whole affair. Arbeloa had no apparent injury issues and his history pointed towards a consummate professional. Just exactly what was wrong was very unclear indeed.

However, announcing his retirement today, Arbeloa spoke to La Marca and shed some light on his difficulties at West Ham citing that it was not a physical problem but rather " in the end it was a head and motivational issue".

Arbeloa went on to describe how he has no interest in playing in the lucrative US or Chinese Leagues as for him they represent something that he finds less appealing about modern football. Hammers fans will note that he found motivation an issue despite his rumoured £50k per week wage!

As the 15th richest club in the world, surely it's time for West Ham to stop buying past it burned out players who lack the desire that a club with our ambitions needs?

Real Boost for Madrid in Payet Campaign

"I just don't think you understand..."

Just as the magnitude of the Brexit vote is starting to dawn on the British nation it is becoming evident that the Premiership's time as the foremost league in the world is likely to come to an end. Apart from all the likely visa/permit issues for foreign players, the simple factor of sterling's diminishing value will have an immediate impact upon transfer activity.

As sterling's value on the money markets fell to a 30 year low at 10% less than the day before Brexit, so Dimitri Payet's likely cost to foreign Eurozone suitors fell by an equivalent amount, along with his salary value. Conversely, the value of the Hammers reported bids for a variety of top strikers in the French and Italian leagues also fell, with the alleged E40 million bid for Michy Batshuayi now only worth a paltry E36 million.  

With Dimitri Payet gearing up for another likely masterclass against the Republic of Ireland tomorrow, it's looking like events are conspiring against the talismanic midfielder staying at West Ham next season. As Real Madrid fans become increasingly vocal in their demands that Payet be brought to the Bernabeu, this is all bad news for Bubbles fans. Let's hope Seamus the Coal man and Dazza Randolph can halt Dimitri's progress tomorrow and get him out of the spotlight. After the Thierry Basketball outrage of 2010, Ireland deserve a big slice of luck against the French.

Even more disappointment awaits Hammers fans who want to enjoy the adventure of European footie that awaits this season as the cost of following the team in the Europa league will be greater.

One wonders how many Brexit-voting fans factored in these effects in choosing to separate from their European allies with Thursday's vote. Maybe the UK will get a second chance to vote on the matter just like Ireland did in the Nice/Lisbon treaty votes of a few years ago. Moreover, one senses that exiting the EU may turn out to be like trying to terminate a Sky Sports subscription - a drawn out and arduous journey!

 

Hammers Concede Sale of Payet

All this Payet perfection at the Euros is great fun to take in until you click on the internet to find headlines like 'Why is Payet wasting his talent at West Ham' [Talksport] or 'Chelsea set for Mega Bid' [Club Call] or "Dimitri Payet brilliance sparks intense Barcelona and Real Madrid interest' [Eurosport UK]. Already there are reports of massive transfer fees being set as thankfully, Messers Gold and Sullivan were smart enough to nail down a long term Hammers contract during the mid season.

But how big a transfer release figure is enough to make the point to would be buyers? Luckily,we at VERYWESTHAM have turned to top International mathematicians for a solution to finding the number best suited to communicating how much Payet is NOT FOR SALE.

Graham's number is an unimaginably large number that is generally considered to be the largest actual number short of infinity. Named after mathematician Ronald Graham, it is much larger than either Skewes' number or Moser's number - both of which are humungously bigger than a googolplex, which is, apparently, pretty damn massive.

Graham's number is so large that the observable universe is far too small to contain even an ordinary digital representation of it!!!! If you could visualise Graham's number in your mind then your head would collapse into a black hole - perfect reward for those would-be pilfering types at Chelsea, PSG, Barca, Real and Manchester-the-United-Citeh!

As Slaven Bilic might put it when next on International Television - F*** off!

Double Trouble on the Payet Front

We're off. The biggest Euro Championship of all time has started and already Hammers fans will be worrying about the future of their talisman Dimitri Payet. As usual, the opening fixture was a tense affair with Payet the only shining light. In four moments of genius he put down the gauntlet to other wannabee tournament darlings;

1. By providing an inch perfect cross for the opening goal of the tournament.

2. As the game looked to be drifting into a turgid stalemate of mediocrity, Payet made three Romanian midfielders look like village idiots with one of his midfield ball juggling manoeuvres....'now you see it, now you don't'....sublime!

3. Just as the French were preparing to settle for a point - reasonable given that the host side has only won the opening fixture once in 30 years - Payet decided to set the tournament alight with a goal out of nowhere. He received the ball surrounded by three Romanian defenders but his first touch created a yard of space and with his weaker left foot he curled the ball into the top right hand corner of the Romanian net. Truly sensational.

4. He treated the artistic and emotionally inclined French media to some patriotic tears. Audacious!!!

Bad news for Hammers fans as Payet is now firmly installed as the most desirable player on the planet! PSG, Barca, Real Madrid were all watching, undoubtedly with considerable envy.

The bad news for Dimitri is that France were disorganised at the back with an ageing Patrice Evra especially off the pace and thus would appear to have little chance of competing against the better sides.