Wednesday 26 July 2017

Arnautovic Update

The Hammers new winger in full flight!

The arrival of a host of possible new fan favourites during the Summer window has put West Ham fans under considerable pressure in order to find suitable nicknames for the new arrivals. In particular, Marko Arnautovic poses a real challenge as Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez comes with a ready made label.

So far, fans have suggested 'Arnie' after that famous Austrian actor / politician Arnold Schartzenegger, but given that his most famous role was playing a Sci-Fi version of Julian 'The Terminator' Dicks playing space soccer, that would unacceptably impinge upon an existing club legend.

Amongst the Schwartzenegger alternatives would be 'Predator', but that might cause all manner of confusion as the football boot of the same name have been discontinued since 2015 and there is also the appauling spectre of unnecessarily awakening the image of Craig Johnson and Co. in their 1980s pomp - yeuch!

No No No

Other Schwartzenegger options include 'Conan the Barbarian', 'The Running Man', the Hammers appropriate - 'Pumping Iron' or, if he succumbs to the Tore-Feghouli-Snodgras syndrome, 'Raw Deal'.

However, given the focus upon Marko's Austrian-ness, maybe we should look towards the second most famous Austrian of all time - Bruno. Whatever else about the faux-Austrian model, he has a consistently cutting edge that we will be needing next season if we are to realise our top-six aspirations! 


1 comment:

  1. VeryWestHam would like to sincerely apologise for including a picture of Sammy Lee in this post.


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