West Ham to swoop for N'Zogbia

As rumours persist that West Ham's stylish midfielder Alex Song will depart the Boleyn at the end of this season, it's clear that his exit would create a massive hole in the squad that will require major investment to fill.

Song, known for his scintillating on field play for the early part of his time at West Ham, has dealt with his slump in form by diversifying into comedic dress. One name that has emerged as a front runner that would surely keep the fans happy (and amused) is Aston Villa's Charles N'Zogbia who has consistently topped the Premiership ridicularse fashion ratings this season.
 

However, with the return to action of Andy Carroll, next season's squad may have just enough cover in the fashionista department.

Hammers star arrested by police

These are pretty dull times down at Upton Park as we stumble home after a Premiership season that promised soooo much but drivelled out into nothing of consequence.

Not surprisingly, many fans have let their boredom get the better of them - with reports of a massive increase in presentations to Basildon University hospital with gardening and DIY-related injuries.

Now it seems that the pointlessness of our season has gotten to the players, with Alex Song resorting to dressing like a plonker just to amuse and titillate the suicidally bored fans. Sadly for Song, the fashion police have decided that his latest 'outfit' is a style-atrocity too far and duly arrested him earlier today.

 Is there no end to what our modestly reimbursed staff will do to enhance our Hammers experience?

Why do so many teams rediscover their form when they play us?

ZZZZZZZZZ

At VERYWESTHAM we know many things about the Hammers but we have no coherent answer for this well established phenomenon!

At least the card count remains at zero for us...after Burnley's disciplinary bloodbath yesterday (two yellows and one red)

Keep the chins up lads. Still only 2-0, a set piece goal and they will get nervy......probably.

If we are getting totally tonked maybe am could finally let Reece Burke have a run out.

Pkease dont let Frank the Tank score.....PLEEEEEZZZE!

Lampard Leads the Wounded Animal to Battle

If you're gonna play it out of tune,
Then play it out of tune properly!

The teams have been announced and Hammers favourite bad guy Frank Junior will start for a strong Man City side, while Carlton 'Killer' Cole replaces the injured Diafra Sakho.

Lampard is 7/4 to score during today's match and 50/1 to bag a hat trick!

Much has been made of the Moonies poor form of late as they have been likened to a wounded animal ready to punish some unsuspecting foe. Let's hope they don't rediscover their goalscoring form against us today.

MAN CITY: Hart, Demichelis, Zabaleta, Kolarov, Mangala, Silva, Toure (c), Fernando, Navas, Lampard, Aguero

SUBS: Caballero, Sagna, Boyata, Fernandinho, Nasri, Dzeko, Pozo

WEST HAM: Adrian, Reid, Cresswell, Kouyate, Downing, Noble (c), Jenkinson, Collins, Cole, Song, Valencia

SUBS: Jaaskelainen, Nolan, Jarvis, Nene, O'Brien, Amalfitano, Burke

Europa League Watch: a good day for the Hammers

After a decidedly iffy weekend last week where West Ham picked up a string of needless yellow cards, Sam's troops will be looking to keep the cautions to a minimum against Man City and be ultra nice to the match officials as we hope to maintain our precarious position at the top of the Premiership Fair Play League.

With Liverpool likely to pick up a European spot through the front door, relegation threatened Burnley are the Hammers biggest rivals for the Europa League place. Today saw the Clarets travel to Goodison where the whingy Scouse crowd usually hector the referee into more than a fair share of cards for the visitors. And so it was today, as Burnley picked up two yellows and a red!

Let's hope we can avoid a similar disciplinary blood bath at the Moonies tomorrow.

Neighbourhood Watch: Lions slide, O's walloped while Daggers push on.

Poor Millwall are looking doomed to slide into League One despite picking up an away point at Cardiff. It seems that they cannot recover from the early season genius of having an ex-West Ham captain to the helm! Three games to go and they need two wins and a draw to stand a realistic chance of staying up.

Meanwhile, Barry Hearn's quest to pinch the Olympic Stadium from big bullies at West Ham will have to go on hold as his side were thumped 6-1 by an MK Dons side adorned with ex-Hammers Jordan Spence and Rob Hall, the latter scoring. The O's are now in the relegation zone which can only serve to emphasize the absurdity of their claims for a stake in a 60,000 seater stadium!

Meanwhile the Daggers won 3-2 at Newport.

The injustice continued at Sheffield United where they could only manage a home draw against Bradford and now will look forward to another dose of tragedy in yet another League one playoff campaign. Sad stuff indeed, and all West Ham's fault.

Hammers Maguire on Fire!!!

As West ham look deep into their squad for attacking talent to fill the gaps caused by the absence of Andy C and Diafra Sakho, the development squad's Sean Maguire looks to finally realising his potential whilst on loan at League 2 Accrington.

Maguire is on a goalscoring run, and was the hero today against Stevenage as he slotted twice to earn his side a useful point. This was all the more impressive given that Accrington's Nicky Huny (no that's not rhyming slang) lived up to his name by getting himself sent off in the second minute of the game for fighting!!!

Maguire was labelled the Irish Messi whilst at Waterford United (no pressure then!) in the League of Ireland and now in his second loan spell looks to be coming of age.