Hammers to Re-Sign Poyet?

SuperSlav starts the revolution!

One of the more disappointing non-successes of recent times was the failure of young Diego Poyet to make the grade at the highest level. Son of Gus, he featured in a video for transformers as the cream of young British footballing talent and looked destined for greatness when West Ham captured him from Charlton in 2013.

However, Diego never quite made the grade - suffering from Big Sam's over-reliance on experienced players and was not favoured by SuperSlav when he took over the reigns. After just ten appearances, half of which were in the Europa League, he departed last Summer.

Since then, he has failed to nail down a decent contract and is on the loose at present with a number of Premiership sides interested, including Swansea and Hull City. Having met the lad a few times he comes across as a real gentleman and wherever he goes next we all wish him the very best. At 21 years of age, he remains an excellent prospect.

As West Ham face into the challenge of erasing Dimitri Payet from our memories, perhaps the return of Poyet would provide much-needed extra cover in midfield and would also be an ideal opportunity to rebrand all those replica shirts!



 

Hammers find Full back solution for Europa League Clash

Time to put the toys away lads!

West Ham's preseason has been far from impressive with a series of embarrassing results out stateside followed by a thumping from Rubin Kazan. Things got even worse during a disastrous win over German second tier side Karlsruher CS in which defensive star Aaron Cresswell sustained a serious knee injury. As it stands, West Ham keep thumping on about a 50M striker, have bought two wide attacking players (Tore, Feghouli) but have no experienced full backs. Having conceded a whopping ten goals in five preseason fixtures, the Hammers need to tighten up their defence!

It will be fascinating to see how Bilic handles the full back crisis against Slovenian side NK Domzale tomorrow night. Despite Cressy's injury, Stephen Hendrie remains on loan at Blackburn which reflects poorly upon his progress to date, while Lewis Page, who has just turned 20, will be hoping to build on his experiences in last season's Europa League. Meanwhile, Sam Byram has been looking excellent in preseason and will hopefully prevent a return to the folly of playing Michail Antonio out of position at right back.

In midfield, it looks like it's game over for Diego Poyet who is not in the Europa League squad for the trip to Slovenia. With Obiang, Nordtveit, Cullen, etc all queuing up for berths it may be time for Diego to move elsewhere. Its a pity as its hard to see what he has done wrong when he's had the (rare) opportunity to shine. As for Josh Cullen, many are predicting that this season will see him push further up the ranks and into the first team proper. Tomorrow night should provide a platform for him to shine.

On the up side of things, Andy Carroll's latest injury scare seems behind him and he looks ready to get stuck into early season action alongside the impressive young Ashley Fletcher. words is that the pair took time out to share some quality time fishing whilst in Austria on preseason. I guess you could say that they are well perched to take their plaice at the top table.

Kick off is at 19:45 and its live on BT Sports....Here we go again!!!
 

Hammers star Victim of Knife Attack Ahead of Swansea Trip

No shit, Sherlock!

In scenes reminiscent of the awful knife attack a few years back on Hammers star Calum Davenport, the sinister goings on at 'Carroll-Castle' took a macabre turn today as it emerged that West Ham's star striker Andy Carroll barely survived an altercation with a knife!

In an effort to make light of the sordid affair, Carroll posted a pic of the injury on Instagram with a jovial caption, but ex-Hammer and crack detective Mattie 'Sherlock' Holmes revealed that private investigators are following a number of definite lines of inquiry regarding the incident...

One theory is that the relationship between Carroll and Billi Mucklow has spiralled out of control to include the ancient khoikhoi rite of digit removal as a symbol of their eternal commitment! After recent revelations about the interior decor of their abode, many fans feel that anything is possible from the aesthetically-challenged couple

An alternate possibility is that Andy has decided to follow the example of an Aussie serial killer, Ivan Milat, who posted his amputated finger to the high court as a protest against prison conditions. Ahead of the Swansea game, it is thought that Andy may be highlighting the cruel injustice that was the Cheating Chico Flores sending off affair in last season's clash.

New images of the Kennedy assassination...

Another possibility is that Andy is trying to set an example to young Jack Sullivan as to how he can truly apologise for his foolish and insulting comments on twitty during the midweek FA cup tie versus Everton, wherein the young cad suggested that Andy was on the skive feigning injury to celebrate his birthday! According to the Japanese ritual of 'Yubitsume' or finger shortening, proof of sincere apology requires removal of part of one's digit.

Finally, detective Holmes has suggested that the increasing West African presence in the Premiership may be bringing some added cultural dimensions, noting that men who die without producing offspring have their fingers severed and placed as an anal suppository to  shame the corpse into reincarnating as a hyper fertile female...Andy's modest ten goals in two years for West Ham is thought to be slightly higher than that which might justify such ritualistic behaviour.

Poiret: another of the growing Belgian contingent in the Premiership

Meanwhile, current Hammers star Diego Poiret has suggested that in an effort to prevent Andy wreaking his usual havoc against a vulnerable Swansea defence, Gary Monk may have hired knife sharpeners to sneak into Andy's kitchen and hypersharpen the utensils in an effort to cause an injury that might cause him to miss the match.

At VERYWESTHAM we think he's been watching a few stagnight-themed movies ahead of his marriage to Billi.

Teddy!?! Is Sheringham in on it as well?

COYI!!!