The FA are likely to slap a twenty gazillion pound fine on Big Sam after his latest post match interview ‘outburst’. The Hammer’s boss was left fuming after Robbing a Van of Persil’s blatantly offside strike was allowed to stand by the narcoleptic officials and the Hammers were infamously robbed of a famous victory in rather familiar circumstances whereby Sir Alex’s boys got the decisions despite being the away side. Hmmm.
In a physically robust encounter, the Hammers stood toe to toe with the Premiership’s imminent champions and some decent pressure resulted in a cross-head down-combination from Jarvis and Carroll allowing Ricky Vaz Te to open the account in the 17th Minute. The Hammers huffed and puffed but were irritatingly caught by a swift and ruthless Man United counter attack that ended in a simple tap in for Valencia to equalise.
In the past, Hammers sides have been accused of wilting when matches against top opposition have turned against them, but not Allardyce’s troops who simply got back to business and early in the second half Momo Diame reminded Hammers fans how much we need to cuddle up to him to try and entice him to stay at the Boleyn when the season ends with a stunning strike from the right wing to put the Hammers 2-1 ahead.
Man United looked strangely subdued by a determined Hammers defence until out of nowhere Shinji Kagawa rattled the inside of both Hammer’s posts with a delightful strike which ultimate;ly ricocheted to the offside Van Pussy who tentatively tucked it away ready for the linesman’s ‘inevitable’ whistle………..and we waited…..and we waited…..and we are still WAITING
Tom Shagpuggle, President of the rapidly growing Hammers Trekkies association, has offered the only plausible explanation for the Linesperson's error by revealing that sources at the intergalactic confederacy have recently despatched a Klingon cloaking device to the Red Devils for use in concealing offside man united players. Early efforts by the Manchester club to develop their own cloaking facilities are though to have resulted in the embarrassing ‘Grey Jersey debacle’ that was blamed for a thrashing by lowly Southampton some years back.
The Hammers were again reassuringly solid until the end and almost nicked it, but alas it wasn’t to be and yet another moral victory over the Mancunian’s after similar injustice in the cup earlier this season.