Thursday 7 March 2013

Hammers concede Olympic Stadium to East London Giants

Get lost small fry!
As the Olympic stadium saga rolls on and on well past its sell by date, the heroic Hammers appear to have finally taken sympathy on the suicidally-fatigued public by conceding that their supersized East London neighbours at Chicken Oriental FC should rightfully claim the stadium as their new home. It is hoped that this may bring closure to the issue but some legal experts have suggested that Leyton Orient are now likely to mount a legal challenge to West Ham’s efforts to abandon the competition as they had hoped to bring some meaning to their modest clubs activities by fighting an endless and amusingly pointless battle over tenancy as a means of garnering occasional media attention.

 The latest challenge is rumoured to be based upon a number of indisputable facts that include;

1. Leyton is in East London, not the Orient as some new followers of football sometimes imagine.
2. Despite their ‘exotic’ moniker, Leyton Orient are actually a drab and mostly pointless club.

3. The O’s biggest ever home attendance was 9,266 and their average home attendance last season was a whopping 4,298. This could pose a health and safety issue at the Olympic stadium due to spectator overcrowding.
Another packed house at Orient
4. Their current home ground at Brisbane road is an overgrown shed.
5. The O’s current home kit makes them look a little like Arsenal (from a distance and for the partially sighted) which adds to their optics as a ‘big’ club

6. Having finished a lofty 20th in League One last year, some Orient fans predict that top level European Footie is imminent for the club.
                                                                          Undeniable logic!

7. Leyton Orient have never been to Wembley. Cruelly they reached the Johnstone's Paint Southern Area Final in 2012–13, but were beaten 3–2 on aggregate by Southend United, and thus missed out on their best chance to get to Wembley.
8. The Orient board are indefatiguable, unlike their first team who regularly concede late goals and thus remain paralysed in the bottom half of the old division three.

9. Barry Hearn likes a fight.
10. Emm….Just because...


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