Tuesday, 1 April 2025

The Wolves Circle as Paqueta Starts


It's back to the Premiership and with 9 games to go the Hammers are already building for next season with relegation or Europe both now unlikely outcones to a season blighted by chaos.

Word is that the Paqueta case is moving in a more positive direction and the star has deemed himself fit for tonight's game - despite the incredible stress of a potential life ban in the offing!

It's a big night for Evan Ferguson as he starts and will be looking to build on his recent scoring form for the Republic of Ireland. Similarly, Luis Guilherme gets some rare match time as Mo Kudus is out injured. Niclas Fullkrug is on the bench.

Wolves, in contrast, are without their talismanic Brazilian - Matheus Cunha- serving a ban for naughty behaviour!

Max Killman will be hoping to impress as he faces his old mates in his first return to Molineux. He is in a vack three with Cresswell and Mavropanus. Todibo is on the bench.

Will Ward-Prowse treat us to similar magic to last season's equivalent fixture where he scored directly from a corner to clinch the tie?

West Ham: Areola, Wan-Bissaka, Mavropanos, Kilman, Cresswell, Scarles, Ward-Prowse, Paquetá, Guilherme, Bowen ©, Ferguson
Subs: Fabiański (GK), Coufal, Emerson, Todibo, Rodríguez, Álvarez, Soler, Souček, Füllkrug

Paqueta Pardoned!


As the Premier league kicks back into gear most folk are keeping an eye on the Lucas Paqueta FA disciplinary hearing. The talismanic Brazilian Hammer could face a life ban for alleged betting-related indiscretions relating to four yellow card offences from 2 years ago.

The odds seem stacked against Paqueta as there is only a need to establish greater than 50% probability rather than the criminal 'beyong reasonable doubt'. Moreover, the likely legal ramifications of not finding him guilty as such that the FA is likely to be well out of pocket if Paqueta is absolved as there will then be the question of the abandoned big bucks transfer to Man city to consider.

Amongst the many points raised by Paqueta's defence is that he tackles like Paul Scoles and is thus prone to more than the odd yellow cardy. Celebrity Hammers fan, George Windybottom, has also waded in stating that creative midfielders need to follow the Di Canio example and never bother to even try to tackle opposition forwards - that's how you win fair play awards, get goal of the season and play your part in the best ever squad to win relegation from the Premier league!

As the hearing rolls in to its third week there has been a major development as Chief Overlord of the Universe Ronald Trumpet has intervened by giving the Hammers star a pardon - even before a verdict can be reached!

The superpowerful one has deemed the FA's actions as "nasty" and added "i don't think they are very good at their job". 

He also confirmed that he is almost certainly a Hammer at heart as he stated "Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game."

It has also been announced that Liverpool are to be hit with 80% tariffs every time they leave the Republic of Scouse, which will probably have very little impact upon the outcome of the Premier League and will in no way protect the Hammers from a thrashing when they travel to Anfield in the coming weeks.

Happy April the first!

COYI!!!